Anonymous
10/24/2013 22:31
Subject: Teacher thinks DS has ODD
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for the helpful responses. We are currently taking DS out of that school, for other reasons but this was the last straw.
Good luck, OP. Your kid deserves better.
Anonymous
10/24/2013 14:05
Subject: Teacher thinks DS has ODD
OP here. Thank you for the helpful responses. We are currently taking DS out of that school, for other reasons but this was the last straw.
Anonymous
10/23/2013 20:20
Subject: Teacher thinks DS has ODD
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:A preschool teacher offers a diagnosis for a child? A trip to the administrator's office -- immediately -- to report this nonsense. Because think of what she's saying and doing about the children who DO have a diagnosis.
This.
To PPs who say the teacher was "just trying to help" may be correct, but there most likely a procedure in place at any preschool to make suggestions about getting kids evaluated no matter what their issues.
It's unprofessional of the teacher and may be a pattern of behavior not just a simple case of poor choice of wording.
Would you feel the same way about a preschool teacher telling a parent, "I think your child might have chicken pox. See those bumps there? They look like chicken pox to me. My son had that and it looks exactly the same. I think you should get her checked out."
It's not a diagnosis, just an alert to something that might be going on.
It is actually not legal for teachers to make these types of diagnoses or suggestions.
Plus, ODD is a diagnosis: http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/oppositional-defiant-disorder
If a kid is diagnosed with a communicable disease in a preschool, it is common sense (if not the law) to inform parents that there was a case of X and look for certain symptoms.
The teacher should be describing behaviors that are concerning in the classroom and letting parents know what the next steps are. Some places refer you to early intervention services other schools might contract with evaluators to come in and observe.
OP, please speak with the director regarding this teacher. We were at a preschool where the teacher gave diagnoses to parents of at least 3 out of 8 students. (None of them correct, BTW.) And the director had no clue that the teacher was doing this.
Anonymous
10/23/2013 19:08
Subject: Re:Teacher thinks DS has ODD
Anonymous wrote:OP - The Teacher made a poor choice in saying a specific diagnosis. But be generous - she was probably trying to get your attention that your child needs more support. Your child is probably completely typical, just a big personality that needs extra coaching to be happy instead of angry all the time. That does not mean don't check with experts, but try and manage your anxieties and understand that neurotypical kids can also need extra help/support to be fully happy successful in preschool on up.
Some books you might want to read, that simply provide good advice for dealing with kids who are perhaps just harder to handle. They helped me accept that my spirited child needed some things that other kids did not. Accepting that there was a definite time clock on overstimulating environments was a big game changer. Over the years, by employing lots of the techniques (along with the help of a behavior person) calmed my kid down enormously. (Natural development also helped). And by the way, the behavior person just coached the parents on parenting our child. What works for compliant kids, just did not work for our kid, we needed to be more consistent, create a behavior plan that worked for him, and provide infinitely better signals on what she could do (instead of just want she could not do). So, again, there might be no diagnosis, just a kid who needs some extra help and there are lots of ways to improve your parenting game while you consult with experts.
Two books that helped us:
Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children, by Ross W., PhD Greene
Final thoughts - there were two recent articles on how kids need so much OUTDOOR time. Really hours and hours each day if you can manage it - in all kids of weather. And how kids need a very regular early bedtime. Boring but true.
10:04- posters like you and all the other helpful people give DCUM a good name.
Anonymous
10/23/2013 19:03
Subject: Teacher thinks DS has ODD
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:A preschool teacher offers a diagnosis for a child? A trip to the administrator's office -- immediately -- to report this nonsense. Because think of what she's saying and doing about the children who DO have a diagnosis.
This.
To PPs who say the teacher was "just trying to help" may be correct, but there most likely a procedure in place at any preschool to make suggestions about getting kids evaluated no matter what their issues.
It's unprofessional of the teacher and may be a pattern of behavior not just a simple case of poor choice of wording.
Would you feel the same way about a preschool teacher telling a parent, "I think your child might have chicken pox. See those bumps there? They look like chicken pox to me. My son had that and it looks exactly the same. I think you should get her checked out."
It's not a diagnosis, just an alert to something that might be going on.
It is actually not legal for teachers to make these types of diagnoses or suggestions.
Anonymous
10/23/2013 19:02
Subject: Re:Teacher thinks DS has ODD
Anonymous wrote:Honestly, he just sounds like a brat. Do you have a routine at home? Is the preschool routine and structured? Are you disciplining him for his behavior with peers? What about at school?
Not OP here: Fuck you. Idiot. You're too stupid to be part of a conversation. Step away from the computer. Let the real parents deal with real issues.
Anonymous
10/23/2013 18:30
Subject: Teacher thinks DS has ODD
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:A preschool teacher offers a diagnosis for a child? A trip to the administrator's office -- immediately -- to report this nonsense. Because think of what she's saying and doing about the children who DO have a diagnosis.
This.
To PPs who say the teacher was "just trying to help" may be correct, but there most likely a procedure in place at any preschool to make suggestions about getting kids evaluated no matter what their issues.
It's unprofessional of the teacher and may be a pattern of behavior not just a simple case of poor choice of wording.
Would you feel the same way about a preschool teacher telling a parent, "I think your child might have chicken pox. See those bumps there? They look like chicken pox to me. My son had that and it looks exactly the same. I think you should get her checked out."
It's not a diagnosis, just an alert to something that might be going on.
Anonymous
10/23/2013 14:35
Subject: Teacher thinks DS has ODD
Anonymous wrote:A preschool teacher offers a diagnosis for a child? A trip to the administrator's office -- immediately -- to report this nonsense. Because think of what she's saying and doing about the children who DO have a diagnosis.
This.
To PPs who say the teacher was "just trying to help" may be correct, but there most likely a procedure in place at any preschool to make suggestions about getting kids evaluated no matter what their issues.
It's unprofessional of the teacher and may be a pattern of behavior not just a simple case of poor choice of wording.
Anonymous
10/23/2013 10:34
Subject: Teacher thinks DS has ODD
"10:20 here -- to add on to what 10:04 said.. the greatest leap in brain maturation I saw in my son, was when I sent him away for 2 weeks of "wilderness camp". I think that brought better results than a year's worth of therapy. In my kid. YMMV but I thought it was worth mentioning."
10:32 here. Can you share the name of the camp and the age your son was when he attended?
10:32 here. Can you share the name of the camp and the age your son was when he attended?
Anonymous
10/23/2013 10:32
Subject: Teacher thinks DS has ODD
Three is too young for an ODD diagnosis. I think others have given some thoughtful advice about what could be going on, and books and such to look at. But I'm not sure I'd go to a development ped right now, unless you're having issues at home. Three is pretty young to diagnose many of the possible causes for his behavior, and too young to implement many of the behavioral plans often recommended. Most likely, your child just needs time to grow whatever area is delayed (again, assuming his behavior is okay in other settings and you're not struggling with your parenting). It may well be that he matures out of any differences in a few years. Or it may be that he doesn't and you'll have to go down the route of seeing a developmental ped and looking at things more closely.
What I would absolutely do is have a meeting with the preschool director. It doesn't sound like the teacher is equipped to handle matters. I have an elementary aged kid with behavioral/developmental issues, but he was fine in preschool because the teachers there understood that kids differ, and they were able to work with his resistance and other issues by redirecting him, letting him have his space, etc.
What I would absolutely do is have a meeting with the preschool director. It doesn't sound like the teacher is equipped to handle matters. I have an elementary aged kid with behavioral/developmental issues, but he was fine in preschool because the teachers there understood that kids differ, and they were able to work with his resistance and other issues by redirecting him, letting him have his space, etc.
Anonymous
10/23/2013 10:22
Subject: Re:Teacher thinks DS has ODD
10:20 here -- to add on to what 10:04 said.. the greatest leap in brain maturation I saw in my son, was when I sent him away for 2 weeks of "wilderness camp". I think that brought better results than a year's worth of therapy. In my kid. YMMV but I thought it was worth mentioning.
Anonymous
10/23/2013 10:20
Subject: Re:Teacher thinks DS has ODD
OP, I wouldn't fret at all about what the preschool teacher said -- sounds like she was just trying to help.
The Explosive Child mentioned above s a really good book to read. Also check out this website:
http://www.thinkkids.org
especially this page: http://www.thinkkids.org/learn/our-collaborative-problem-solving-approach/
And this inventory of lagging thinking skills: http://www.thinkkids.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/TSI_clinical-9-12.pdf
All kids develop the thinking skills they need to become flexible problem solvers but they do it at different rates, and it is possible for a 3.5 year old to be delayed in certain areas compared with his peers. What really helped me with my son was to realize he was about 1-2 years delayed in his ability to regulate his behavior. That didn't mean that I accepted his behavior and didn't try to change it because it was beyond his control. It just meant that the tactics that worked for most kids his age, wouldn't work for him until he was 2 years older! And when he was 3.5, I really needed to treat him more like he was a 1 year old -- which did look like coddling, giving in to outsiders.
I am POSITIVE could have gotten him diagnosed with ODD when he was younger, but there wasn't any reason to pursue the diagnosis. We honestly couldn't afford any therapy or treatment and I knew I was going to have to do it mostly myself.
Once I knew which thinking skills he was lagging in -- we made a plan, and just kept at it, trying to push him ahead in every skill in a very deliberate way. And as his brain matured thankfully he caught up in some areas on his own. He is 11 now and life is so much better -- he is a great kid, very mature for his age. He is stlll tough, but our bond is strong because he knows that I hung in there with him and helped him instead of punishing him for behavior he couldn't control, and then punishing him because the punishments weren't motivating him to somehow do better.
The Explosive Child mentioned above s a really good book to read. Also check out this website:
http://www.thinkkids.org
especially this page: http://www.thinkkids.org/learn/our-collaborative-problem-solving-approach/
And this inventory of lagging thinking skills: http://www.thinkkids.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/TSI_clinical-9-12.pdf
All kids develop the thinking skills they need to become flexible problem solvers but they do it at different rates, and it is possible for a 3.5 year old to be delayed in certain areas compared with his peers. What really helped me with my son was to realize he was about 1-2 years delayed in his ability to regulate his behavior. That didn't mean that I accepted his behavior and didn't try to change it because it was beyond his control. It just meant that the tactics that worked for most kids his age, wouldn't work for him until he was 2 years older! And when he was 3.5, I really needed to treat him more like he was a 1 year old -- which did look like coddling, giving in to outsiders.
I am POSITIVE could have gotten him diagnosed with ODD when he was younger, but there wasn't any reason to pursue the diagnosis. We honestly couldn't afford any therapy or treatment and I knew I was going to have to do it mostly myself.
Once I knew which thinking skills he was lagging in -- we made a plan, and just kept at it, trying to push him ahead in every skill in a very deliberate way. And as his brain matured thankfully he caught up in some areas on his own. He is 11 now and life is so much better -- he is a great kid, very mature for his age. He is stlll tough, but our bond is strong because he knows that I hung in there with him and helped him instead of punishing him for behavior he couldn't control, and then punishing him because the punishments weren't motivating him to somehow do better.
Anonymous
10/23/2013 10:04
Subject: Re:Teacher thinks DS has ODD
OP - The Teacher made a poor choice in saying a specific diagnosis. But be generous - she was probably trying to get your attention that your child needs more support. Your child is probably completely typical, just a big personality that needs extra coaching to be happy instead of angry all the time. That does not mean don't check with experts, but try and manage your anxieties and understand that neurotypical kids can also need extra help/support to be fully happy successful in preschool on up.
Some books you might want to read, that simply provide good advice for dealing with kids who are perhaps just harder to handle. They helped me accept that my spirited child needed some things that other kids did not. Accepting that there was a definite time clock on overstimulating environments was a big game changer. Over the years, by employing lots of the techniques (along with the help of a behavior person) calmed my kid down enormously. (Natural development also helped). And by the way, the behavior person just coached the parents on parenting our child. What works for compliant kids, just did not work for our kid, we needed to be more consistent, create a behavior plan that worked for him, and provide infinitely better signals on what she could do (instead of just want she could not do). So, again, there might be no diagnosis, just a kid who needs some extra help and there are lots of ways to improve your parenting game while you consult with experts.
Two books that helped us:
Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children, by Ross W., PhD Greene
Final thoughts - there were two recent articles on how kids need so much OUTDOOR time. Really hours and hours each day if you can manage it - in all kids of weather. And how kids need a very regular early bedtime. Boring but true.
Some books you might want to read, that simply provide good advice for dealing with kids who are perhaps just harder to handle. They helped me accept that my spirited child needed some things that other kids did not. Accepting that there was a definite time clock on overstimulating environments was a big game changer. Over the years, by employing lots of the techniques (along with the help of a behavior person) calmed my kid down enormously. (Natural development also helped). And by the way, the behavior person just coached the parents on parenting our child. What works for compliant kids, just did not work for our kid, we needed to be more consistent, create a behavior plan that worked for him, and provide infinitely better signals on what she could do (instead of just want she could not do). So, again, there might be no diagnosis, just a kid who needs some extra help and there are lots of ways to improve your parenting game while you consult with experts.
Two books that helped us:
Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children, by Ross W., PhD Greene
Final thoughts - there were two recent articles on how kids need so much OUTDOOR time. Really hours and hours each day if you can manage it - in all kids of weather. And how kids need a very regular early bedtime. Boring but true.
Anonymous
10/23/2013 08:52
Subject: Teacher thinks DS has ODD
A three year old can't even be diagnosed with ODD by a trained medical professional. That is totally ridiculous.
I would make an appointment to see a developmental pediatrician. In the meantime, read the Kazdin book, check his sleep habits and nutrition, cut out food dye if he eats any, and really work on positive reinforcement.
I would make an appointment to see a developmental pediatrician. In the meantime, read the Kazdin book, check his sleep habits and nutrition, cut out food dye if he eats any, and really work on positive reinforcement.
Anonymous
10/23/2013 06:18
Subject: Re:Teacher thinks DS has ODD
A medical diagnosis can only be made by a medical professional.
As an SLP in early intervention in the 90's when autism was on the rise, I could only describe behaviors as related to language development and suggest that families visit their pediatrician and share my evaluation, hoping that the description of behaviors would point the doctors to an appropriate medical diagnosis so that all the professionals could work together in the kid's best interest.
The truth is that a diagnosis does not necessarily change how I work with and interact with children.
As an SLP in early intervention in the 90's when autism was on the rise, I could only describe behaviors as related to language development and suggest that families visit their pediatrician and share my evaluation, hoping that the description of behaviors would point the doctors to an appropriate medical diagnosis so that all the professionals could work together in the kid's best interest.
The truth is that a diagnosis does not necessarily change how I work with and interact with children.