Anonymous
Post 10/26/2013 13:25     Subject: filial responsibility laws - am I on the hook for my parent's health care costs?
OP, I'm with you. My sibling is claiming her losses by actually adopting my own story of trials, tribulations, abuse, neglect and abandonment. She is extremely lazy and can't do for herself, except when it comes to taking everything she can from others. My parents gave her everything they had.

She is taking to FB to announce her woes and air the family's dirty laundry (and she wonders why I blocked her - for real?!?!). Talk about batsh*t! The spin is so obvious its funny. Although the real life story is sad, and everyone is fully aware of the distinction, thankfully.

Anonymous
Post 10/20/2013 23:19     Subject: filial responsibility laws - am I on the hook for my parent's health care costs?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP you need to take a deep breath. You don't have the means to care for your mother, the court will not order you to care for your mother if it means going on welfare to feed your kids. That's not how it works. If you were sitting on millions perhaps they would come after you but since your not you will be fine.


I would prefer we hear from actual lawyers about this. Anyone who can help?
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2013 12:38     Subject: filial responsibility laws - am I on the hook for my parent's health care costs?
Anonymous wrote:OP you need to take a deep breath. You don't have the means to care for your mother, the court will not order you to care for your mother if it means going on welfare to feed your kids. That's not how it works. If you were sitting on millions perhaps they would come after you but since your not you will be fine.
Anonymous
Post 10/20/2013 11:39     Subject: filial responsibility laws - am I on the hook for my parent's health care costs?
Anonymous wrote:I think the reason the nursing home went after the guy in PA is because he signed the nursing home forms and was deliquent in getting the medicaid forms to the home.


There have been multiple instances not just the man. And I don't think you are correct.
Anonymous
Post 10/19/2013 22:23     Subject: filial responsibility laws - am I on the hook for my parent's health care costs?
I just looked it up and you pay for the nursing home until the money runs out and then Medicaid kicks in. Are the lawsuits because Medicaid didn't pay?
Anonymous
Post 10/19/2013 22:21     Subject: filial responsibility laws - am I on the hook for my parent's health care costs?
I think the reason the nursing home went after the guy in PA is because he signed the nursing home forms and was deliquent in getting the medicaid forms to the home.
Anonymous
Post 10/19/2013 22:12     Subject: filial responsibility laws - am I on the hook for my parent's health care costs?
Also, aren't there state run nursing homes? Wouldn't medicare/caid whatever pay for that?
Anonymous
Post 10/19/2013 22:10     Subject: filial responsibility laws - am I on the hook for my parent's health care costs?
Can adults emancipate themselves from parents or is that just for minors?
Anonymous
Post 10/19/2013 16:55     Subject: filial responsibility laws - am I on the hook for my parent's health care costs?
Anonymous wrote:OP you need to take a deep breath. You don't have the means to care for your mother, the court will not order you to care for your mother if it means going on welfare to feed your kids. That's not how it works. If you were sitting on millions perhaps they would come after you but since your not you will be fine.


You might consider being less patronizing when you're just taking a guess. There are many examples of folks being sued for these costs, and they are not millionaires. I am not a millionaire but it's not as simple as just "going on welfare" to feed my kids, it doesn't have to be that stark to matter. It would reduce my quality of life, not to mention the sheer unfairness of it all. How a state can sue an individual for a service she didn't agree to or incur is beyond me. It can't be constitutional. but it is happening. And people are sued for this quite a big PA is very aggressive in these suits, and yes they absolutely do go after people at my income level.
Anonymous
Post 10/19/2013 16:34     Subject: filial responsibility laws - am I on the hook for my parent's health care costs?
OP you need to take a deep breath. You don't have the means to care for your mother, the court will not order you to care for your mother if it means going on welfare to feed your kids. That's not how it works. If you were sitting on millions perhaps they would come after you but since your not you will be fine.
Anonymous
Post 10/19/2013 15:39     Subject: filial responsibility laws - am I on the hook for my parent's health care costs?
Anonymous wrote:Well my MIL went on spending sprees with GMIL's money as soon as MIL got POA. Maybe I can prove that and give evidence of her big inheritance if someone comes after us. I hope these laws get changed sooner rather than later because we're going to do in the most vulnerable of the sandwich generation-those who were abused and neglected, who are stuck helping the abuser at the cost of their marriages and children.


This is the OP - I've been stressed out about this since I first uncovered it. Everything I'm seeing says get a lawyer immediately, and buy all of these life insurance policies and end of life policies for your parents. We can't afford that! I cannot believe that this is constitutional. My mother has stolen from me since I was a child. Every bit of money I ever got in a Christmas or birthday card, while I was living at home, was "borrowed," spent on cigarettes and bingo, and never returned. I was kicked out of the house at 16. (but not for 10 years, which is what PA requires in terms of proving abandonment - crazy). My mom and her husband spent their paychecks on guns, the latest TV / technology gadget, and entertainment and our utilities were regularly turned off. I have worked full time since I was 13 years old (lying to get a worker's permit was easier then). There was never money for school clothes, that was left for my paternal grandmother to take care of. I would buy laundry detergent to clean my own clothes and my mom would use all of it, fill it with water, and then I'd go to school in smelly clothes. I worked two jobs at a time in high school, slept about 5 hours a night in order to accommodate my homework. My mom did not allow me to participate in any extra-curricular activities so that I could take care of my brothers, for free. But not so she could work (she did not work) but so that she could go to bingo. And none of this is to mention the abuse, emotional, physical, and sexual at the hands of one of her many husbands. I will GO TO JAIL before I let her or the state take food out of my kids' mouth so that I can take my hard earned cash and throw it down that black hole. If I were a millionaire, I'd take care of her. But I won't sacrifice my children for her - not even so much as to scale back on a single birthday or whatever. HELL no.

So yeah, I hope these laws are overturned.
Anonymous
Post 10/19/2013 12:35     Subject: filial responsibility laws - am I on the hook for my parent's health care costs?
Well my MIL went on spending sprees with GMIL's money as soon as MIL got POA. Maybe I can prove that and give evidence of her big inheritance if someone comes after us. I hope these laws get changed sooner rather than later because we're going to do in the most vulnerable of the sandwich generation-those who were abused and neglected, who are stuck helping the abuser at the cost of their marriages and children.
Anonymous
Post 10/19/2013 10:16     Subject: Re:filial responsibility laws - am I on the hook for my parent's health care costs?
I agree with a PPs suggestion that you take out life insurance on her.
Anonymous
Post 10/19/2013 10:03     Subject: filial responsibility laws - am I on the hook for my parent's health care costs?
This is interesting to me. What if a sibling has actually burned down the parents assets? Can you sue that sibling for the money they stole? That sibling is trying to cover themselves by saying the parent "owed" them that money, which they did not. But if the parent is a participant in giving the sibling that money, then what?

I refuse to be on the hook of an abusive parent, when the sibling p*ssed all their money away.
Anonymous
Post 10/19/2013 08:30     Subject: filial responsibility laws - am I on the hook for my parent's health care costs?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How can this possibly be constitutional? We certainly don't require children to pay their parents' debts beyond the value of the parent's estate. Where is the incentive to behave responsibly? Heck, when your kid turns 18, could you just say you are really depressed and can't work and require them to get a job and support you?

Also, isn't it standard practice for the elderly to spend down their assets and then go on Medicare to fund nursing homes?


I know that this is what happened with my grandmother, who lives in PA. she has 7 living children, 6 of them in PA, but the state hasn't sued them for support.


Except I believe its Medicaid not Medicare that kicks in after the assets are spent down.


Correct. And Medicare doesn't cover nursing homes at all.