Anonymous wrote:Thanks for this! I was feeling bruised today after DC's Parent Teacher conference. Some educators (a lot actually) think it's just a parenting issue. "If you were JUST consistent and disciplined her/him appropriately." I just expect more out of educators!

Wow. So unacceptable in my book. Homeschooling is looking more and more attractive.

Thanks for this! I was feeling bruised today after DC's Parent Teacher conference. Some educators (a lot actually) think it's just a parenting issue. "If you were JUST consistent and disciplined her/him appropriately." I just expect more out of educators!

Anonymous wrote:Strong as ever or stronger.

My favorite is "everyone has ADHD" (no, they don't) or "90% of kids today have ADHD" (where on earth did you get that number? It's not even remotely accurate.)

People need to stop thinking they can issue diagnoses better than doctors, and they need to stop thinking they know a child better than that child's parents do.

+1000

Strong as ever or stronger.

My favorite is "everyone has ADHD" (no, they don't) or "90% of kids today have ADHD" (where on earth did you get that number? It's not even remotely accurate.)

People need to stop thinking they can issue diagnoses better than doctors, and they need to stop thinking they know a child better than that child's parents do.

I have a high schooler with ADHD who has had an IEP for a while. We've received many attitudes from teachers who raise examples of their children having ADHD but they don't have an IEP. Like whatever is going on with the teacher's family is relevant to my child. We have come across teachers who blatantly ignore her IEP and decide their way of doing things is better than what the school team has determined my child needs. We've even received attitudes from family members that think that it is ok if my child doesn't do well in school because she is pretty and will eventually get married and everything will work out fine.

Attitudes due to lack of understanding creates environments that can be greatly harmful to a child's self esteem. They can create environments of discrimination that a child has to learn to deal with and maneuver through to get accommodations and special ed services they are entitled to by law. As a mother, that has been the hardest part of dealing with some people's crap.

Sure my daughter has become thick skinned and has even learned to go toe to toe with teachers when they refuse to give her what is in her IEP. It is a tough balancing act to learn how to speak up and disagree without being disrespectful. We work on these skills with her tutor, equip her with the words on note cards so she knows what to say in the moment, and we provide her a copy of the entire IEP to have in her notebook so she can give it to the teacher as a reference if necessary.

That doesn't mean there aren't tears at home and anger of what she has to deal with. I give her empathy, validate her feelings, and let her know she is a special and strong person that can persevere through all that life throws at her. I can't fight all her battles but have mentored her so she can speak up for herself.

Anonymous wrote:OP, instead of writing huge opuses about a relative you obviously don't enjoy, maybe you should just stop hanging around her and her offspring. And see a family counselor already. Your family needs one.

I was going to say. Why care about what an SIL thinks?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with pretty severe ADHD, although the meds have helped a lot. I'm sorry you've had some negative interactions but you seem pretty thin skinned and overprotective. Your child will have to encounter the rest of the world at some point and learn to let other people's judgments go. This seems like a lesson you might need to learn first.

Damn PP, I think OP was just venting some steam. You on the other hand seem very cold and uncaring.

I'd call it tough love.

OP, I hear you. I run into this ALL THE TIME -- even down to people who don't have any real connection to ADHD except they feel the need to post on Facebook etc. every time some article comes out talking about how we are overmedicating ADHD kids who just need more recess, less red dye #2, etc. ...

I also had a rift with a close family member who felt that i was abusing DD by medicating her ...

Very painful.

Anonymous wrote:Clearly, OP, you have a specific ax to grind with your SIL. No problem. But your attempts to blow this up into some universal indictment of extended family or teachers is just foolish.

Your problem is particular and you should probably handle it in your family instead of creating worry here where there is no call for it.

I tend to agree with this post.

If not one in-law issue, it would be another.

I think this is about family relationships and not adhd.