Anonymous
Post 10/19/2013 07:04     Subject: Compassion- when its needed most
Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP of the receipt thread. I felt I should respond. I'm doing ok. I feel a bit disassociated from this whole situation, to be honest. The entire situation blindsighted me. I did not marry the man who I saw last night. But I have an appointment with a therapist tomorrow.

I asked Jeff to lock the thread not because of how mean people were being, but because I did not want to see some 13+ page thread unfold after I logged on to share that he had, in fact, cheated. I would find the compassion more difficult to bear than the bullying, which I can distance myself from. I'm a career sales person, I have a thick skin. But people saying how sorry they were, siding with me, sharing their (all too common) stories - I felt that was too much to bear. And I wanted the thread that I started out of fear to end.

I'm grateful to DCUM. I was going to believe him, and I have a right to know who I married. What happens next, well, everyone can feel rest assured that I'll be ok. I have a strong family, a solid sense of self, and I'm not by any stretch of the imagination a wimp, as a few people indicated.

Thanks for the well wishes.



To the OP: I am a male. I have used similar services. I can't tell you why your H used them, but can tell you why I used them. The reason (and many people will find this icky) is it turned the sex act into a business transaction. No emotions. The first time I was 22, and was always horny, and did not know how to pick up girls. $80 bucks solved the problem.

Later, when I was in grad school, I did not have the time for a relationship, but desired sex.

I do not believe either of those where trafficking victims, and I was not in a relationship.

The last time, I was far from home, married. I had been away for about 3 weeks for work. I was feeling lonely....conversations with DW were impossible because of timezones. I am not proud of it; I really wanted to just pay her to talk to me, but, she was a professional....

Bottom line, guys do this mostly to have sex with no emotion. They do not imagine a relationship with the hooker.

Anonymous
Post 10/19/2013 00:53     Subject: Compassion- when its needed most
Anonymous wrote:I know DCUM posters are very capable of this. When someone is down and out, being abused, and the like, I have seen some of the most compassionate and helpful posts to help a person in that alone moment.

I was disappointed to see the woman with the one year old who discovered her husband was cheating on her at massage parlors turned so ugly towards her it had to be locked. A person in one of the darkest moments of their life should receive nothing but compassion, especially where they are clearly the victim as was the case here.

Please lets just take a moment to reflect on where it is possible for us to hold ourselves and each other to a higher standard of compassion. A little goes a long way.


This is a very interesting interpretation of the thread. Most of the thread was people doing detective work on that salon. The OP replied to the thread and confirmed he was cheating at 20:13 and asked for the thread to be locked at that time. There were two more responses - neither or them being ugly to her and then she posted again asking it to be locked and it was at 20:45.

So how did it turn ugly after she found out he was cheating?

There are threads that can get ugly - I don't see that one as one of them. It exposed an ugly truth but I didn't see anyone being mean to her. Until the very end no one knew if there had been cheating and it was locked soon after so there really was no opportunity to show compassion so I am not sure how you say this as a low standard of compassion?
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2013 22:00     Subject: Re:Compassion- when its needed most
Anonymous wrote:You just devoted quite a bit of your post to someone you claim to think "nothing" about -- and attributing adjectives to describe that person. It seems like you think "something".

You also spend a lot of time posting about how happy you are now. Just a bit too much to be convincing.


I'm flattered that you follow me around and spend so much time thinking about me.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2013 17:59     Subject: Re:Compassion- when its needed most
The point is that the poster is a liar or a fraud or both.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2013 16:58     Subject: Re:Compassion- when its needed most
Anonymous wrote:You just devoted quite a bit of your post to someone you claim to think "nothing" about -- and attributing adjectives to describe that person. It seems like you think "something".

You also spend a lot of time posting about how happy you are now. Just a bit too much to be convincing.


New pp. What is the point of your post? You're exactly the kind of negative person this thread is discussing. Remember the golden rule, my friend.