Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he stall because he is lazy, fearful of failing, fearful of a challenge, ... what?

I want to say "because he is a lazy PITA."

I think most of the problem is that he is 13, hence my statement that I really just want to vent.

What time does he get up? What time does he get home? I hear this from parents and often, when they add up the hours their kids are awake and getting ready for school, in school, coming home from school (whether in SAC or not) and homework, they come up with numbers in the 16 hour range. That right there is the issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I despise homework. My fourth grader is often working past 9pm on complicated projects. She's doing a huge English projects that's going to take several hours a week for three months, and a STEM fair project that's going to consume several hours a week, in addition to her normal 3 hours of homework. It's gotten downright ridiculous.

Where is your kid in school?? I'm in BCC cluster and have not seen demands like this.

A public PG elementary school. It's unreal the amount of work the kids are doing. We (majority of parents) have addressed it with the school and teachers in both group emails and during PTA meetings. We even provided the school with survey results from Survey Monkey. The answer has continuously been that this is a direct result of Common Core and that there should be ten minutes of homework per grade level, well, they switch classes at this grade level now and these kids are getting 40+ minutes of homework from each teacher and additional projects that aren't factored into that time.

Common Core does not dictate homework. Totally ridiculous finger pointing. Like any curriculum, the school (and/or district) has to identify the skills or objectives within the curriculum that it will focus on. Maybe this school isn't judiciously selecting the "biggest bang for the buck" objectives, and instead is focusing on "everything?"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I despise homework. My fourth grader is often working past 9pm on complicated projects. She's doing a huge English projects that's going to take several hours a week for three months, and a STEM fair project that's going to consume several hours a week, in addition to her normal 3 hours of homework. It's gotten downright ridiculous.

Where is your kid in school?? I'm in BCC cluster and have not seen demands like this.

A public PG elementary school. It's unreal the amount of work the kids are doing. We (majority of parents) have addressed it with the school and teachers in both group emails and during PTA meetings. We even provided the school with survey results from Survey Monkey. The answer has continuously been that this is a direct result of Common Core and that there should be ten minutes of homework per grade level, well, they switch classes at this grade level now and these kids are getting 40+ minutes of homework from each teacher and additional projects that aren't factored into that time.

Thank you, PP. I have heard high school is better.

Middle School homework does suck. It honestly does. Elementary is easy - 1hr tops. Middle School has 5-7 subjects that they learn all day and just when they want to come home and relax, they have to spend another 2-3 hours on more work. I am not against homework but if you also have a sport, it leaves very little time for anything else. Kids are like robots. No time to think or do for themselves. They live this planned structured life of school, sport/activity, dinner, homework, electronic screen (of some sort) and bed. Rinse, rather, repeat.

They are going thru puberty, they have lots of hormone imbalances and they get very little outdoor time. They are cranky. It sucks. I feel for you OP.

I love home work. Hope hope I keep loving it.The school doesn't even give homework for my 1st grader so I have to make it up.
He has taken quite well to it.I'm sure I won't like it once it gets too hard and he need help ( I need help).

Shre the approach. Well, this is the OP. I said I hate homework and needed to vent. The thing is, as much as I hate it, I step up and work with my son every single day.

My techniques:
Main rule is no surprises. I must see in his assignment book every single up and coming due date. I put my energy into making sure he learns organizing skills. I expend effort making sure nothing is done last minute (I try, but things do drag on). I bust his ass on organization and putting inthe time. I let the grades be what they are.

Second rule:
If grades slip put of the acceptable range, or if there is evidence of shoddy work, he must show me every slip of paper for that subject until things pick up.

Third rule:
Lying, hiding the truth, and snottiness results in grounding. Usually once a year.

After that, I let the grades be what they are.

Another night, another night of homework. God keep me from the scotch.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear ya. I have a six year old--SIX YEAR OLD--in first grade (AAAAH!) who puts up a fight with very reasonable homework (not onerous, not "busy work, just 5-10 minutes a pop).

Can't wait to see how this evolves as she moves on up.

Oy.

Well all I can say is you get back what you put in. I am ahead of you. The more you invest in good study habits, the better off you will be. But it totally and completely sucks. It is the worst part of parenting.

My experience exactly. I am so glad I took the time and energy to help my kids develop good habits even if the content was a waste of time. And, my experience is that once I established the house expectations with the oldest, the rest was a piece of cake. I have kids for HS to first grade and the biggest issue I have with the younger ones is what time it must be done, not if or how much of it.

Do you mind sharing your approach?

Anonymous wrote:I despise homework. My fourth grader is often working past 9pm on complicated projects. She's doing a huge English projects that's going to take several hours a week for three months, and a STEM fair project that's going to consume several hours a week, in addition to her normal 3 hours of homework. It's gotten downright ridiculous.

Where is your kid in school?? I'm in BCC cluster and have not seen demands like this.

Check out the articles, OP:

http://anndolin.ectutoring.com/

A lot of kids hate homework.

Homework seems so insidious to me. With my middle schoolers each discreet task doesn't seem so big (10 math problems -fine), but with7 subjects it adds up! Are the teachers not coordinating on this, do they not realize how long it actually takes? And the $64,000 question is: do the child free teachers understand how busy and full home life is, especially with multiple kids in the house?

I despise homework. My fourth grader is often working past 9pm on complicated projects. She's doing a huge English projects that's going to take several hours a week for three months, and a STEM fair project that's going to consume several hours a week, in addition to her normal 3 hours of homework. It's gotten downright ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear ya. I have a six year old--SIX YEAR OLD--in first grade (AAAAH!) who puts up a fight with very reasonable homework (not onerous, not "busy work, just 5-10 minutes a pop).

Can't wait to see how this evolves as she moves on up.

Oy.

Well all I can say is you get back what you put in. I am ahead of you. The more you invest in good study habits, the better off you will be. But it totally and completely sucks. It is the worst part of parenting.

The worst part for me was potty training. Though homework is a big pain too.

Anonymous wrote:
Not to worry you, but procrastination and stalling are classic signs of ADHD. I did that as a teen overloaded with homework, DH still does it all the time for everything, and DS too.
DD is the only who is NOT diagnosed and - surprise - blasts through her assignments!

I would learn about ADHD and observe your son carefully.

Thanks. I am fairly certain this is more a problem of puberty and his usual fall B.S. (spent enough time in the classroom myself to know adhd from bs -- i am actually fairly experienced with that). Generally we follow a few nights like this with grounding and he miraculously shapes up.