My son is 6 and was diagnosed in May. I told him a few months ago about the diagnosis, although I didn't refer to it as ADHD. We talked about some of the trouble he had in school, and I mentioned that his brain works differently than some other peoples' brains. My husband also has ADHD, so I told him that he inherited the same kind of brain that daddy has. (He adores his dad, so he liked hearing this.) I recommend reading, "Superparenting for ADD," as it had great suggestions for discussing ADD with your child. As the book suggested, I told my son that he has a super-fast Ferrari brain but that his brain has bicycle brakes. His brain is so powerful but he needs help stopping it since the brakes aren't as powerful as they need to be. When we started medication last month, I told him that the meds would help strengthen the brakes so that he could slow down and focus more at school. So far he hasn't seemed phased by the revelation that his brain is different and actually sounds proud when he talks about his "race car brain."

Again, I highly recommend this book: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001NBEWLI/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=1535523722&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0345497775&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=09K06SRBXNGFCPP8QGTQ

It helped me stop focusing on the negative things about ADHD and to embrace all the great "mirror traits" that kids with ADHD often possess.

Anonymous wrote:OP,

I posted this article on a different thread recently, This article may help you explain things:

http://www.ldonline.org/article/Explaining_Learnin...ties_to_Your_Child?theme=print

You don't necessarily need to have a "big" conversation. Little moments of talking about it are fine too.

This link doesn't work, can you post the correct one? Thanks,

From the get go. We are honest with him and reinforced the idea that it doesn't mean there is something wrong with him, it's just a different way to be, and that what we are trying to do is not change him, but help him figure out how to integrate in ways that work for him and the people around him both.

I don't get keeping it a secret like it's something bad, but I've had several people express surprise that we are so open with him, so I'm guessing this is a less common attitude.

IMO, it's only a big deal if you make it a big deal. We're very matter of fact about it and discussed it with our kids using appropriate language. They're brains are different but that doesn't make them bad or weird, just different. We explain that a lot of things are harder for them than for other people but that everyone has things that are hard. We also explain that they learn differently than other kids and that learning can be harder. It doesn't mean they're stupid or dumb, just that they have to practice more and their teachers need to teach a little differently. We first started these discussions when our oldest was 5 and got his first diagnosis. The oldest is now 10, the youngest is 7. They have robust vocabularies regarding their challenges and can also talk about the behavior other kids have - as in 'he didn't have good control' or 'he's got some challenges'. Not a big deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 6 and I have not done it yet, though we talk about the symptoms and practice strategies. I just do not want to shake her confidence or for her to self-limit. But, I know the time is coming soon.

it is a bigger blow to self confidence to think that these problems you are having are just because you aren't smart, or you don't work hard enough, or you don't pay attention as much as other kids, or you are bad. It is actually often a boost to self-confidence to know that there is a reason why these things are harder for you, and that it isn't just character flaws or a lack of effort etc... ADHD provides an explanation and that can be very validating. She will only think ADHD is a bad thing or an excuse if that is how you present it to her.

+100

I have 2 kids with ADHD inattentive type. They knew they were struggling with certain skills in school. I think it took some of the pressure off of them by acknowledging their strengths and weaknesses and coming up with a plan of action (the IEP and private tutoring goals) to gain new skills and compensating strategies. It is key to be open and honest with kids and allow for two way communication so problems can be addressed.