Anonymous
10/10/2013 10:27
Subject: Not invited to nieces wedding
Anonymous wrote:Actually, (as someone from a big family) getting to see them all at once without having to go to a wedding sounds kind of awesome. Bonus if you get to stay in a hotel and not at mom & dad's.
I totally agree!
Anonymous
10/10/2013 10:20
Subject: Not invited to nieces wedding
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you do go , no matter what how great or sincere you believe you are being, it will be viewed as an imposition.
Go some other time.
This. And if you contact the bride like a PP suggested, she will feel uncomfortable, like your trying to get invited (even if you aren't).
Just go a different weekend! The wedding guests will be busy hanging out with each other, and it will be awkward for them to hang out with you since you weren' invited. I understand why you weren't invited after you said your family is so big, just don't go that weekend! If you go, then it could make for some long term awkwardness, remember this isn't about you and what you want to do, but about your neice and her wedding.
OP here. This was my concern. I don't want to be seen like I'm trying to wiggle my way in for an invite. You're right - it is her special
Moment and I don't want to bring drama or awkwardness into it. It will be stressful enough as is!
I just wanted to take advantage of seeing family since many I don't see often will be in town for the wedding.
Anonymous
10/10/2013 10:15
Subject: Not invited to nieces wedding
You should not go visit the weekend of the wedding, OP. There is no way to avoid it being awkward. The only reason you made plans to go visit then was because you thought you'd be invited to the wedding. Either don't go visit the weekend of the wedding, or do but understand it will not be taken well. There are no other options.
Anonymous
10/10/2013 10:09
Subject: Not invited to nieces wedding
Anonymous wrote:If you do go , no matter what how great or sincere you believe you are being, it will be viewed as an imposition.
Go some other time.
This. And if you contact the bride like a PP suggested, she will feel uncomfortable, like your trying to get invited (even if you aren't).
Just go a different weekend! The wedding guests will be busy hanging out with each other, and it will be awkward for them to hang out with you since you weren' invited. I understand why you weren't invited after you said your family is so big, just don't go that weekend! If you go, then it could make for some long term awkwardness, remember this isn't about you and what you want to do, but about your neice and her wedding.
Anonymous
10/10/2013 10:02
Subject: Not invited to nieces wedding
Actually, (as someone from a big family) getting to see them all at once without having to go to a wedding sounds kind of awesome. Bonus if you get to stay in a hotel and not at mom & dad's.
Anonymous
10/10/2013 09:56
Subject: Not invited to nieces wedding
I think it is fine to keep your visit and understandable that she could not invite. I don't think you need to reschedule as long as you've been gracious about it and make it clear you are not if angling for an invite.
Anonymous
10/10/2013 06:40
Subject: Not invited to nieces wedding
If you do go , no matter what how great or sincere you believe you are being, it will be viewed as an imposition.
Go some other time.
Go some other time.
Anonymous
10/10/2013 01:17
Subject: Not invited to nieces wedding
offer to babysit grandnieces and get to know them...be useful, i wouldn't reschedule. go and enjoy your extended fam however you can.
Anonymous
10/09/2013 20:11
Subject: Re:Not invited to nieces wedding
Call your niece. Congratulate her. Tell her your totally cool with her having a small wedding. You're coming to see the extended family. If there is anything you can help out with while you're in town, you'd love to help. Babysitting kids, picking up last minute items, picking up people from the airport, whatever she needs, you'd be thrilled to help. Then drop off a small gift before the wedding.
Anonymous
10/09/2013 18:49
Subject: Not invited to nieces wedding
It makes more sense after she gave more info on family size.
Anonymous
10/09/2013 18:35
Subject: Not invited to nieces wedding
Anonymous wrote:Your sister's daughter didn't invite you to her wedding? And 'several family members' are coming in from out of town but you didn't rate an invite? Seems odd.
My cousin got married Saturday. I (female) was his best man. My parents were not invited. No one cared.
Anonymous
10/09/2013 18:14
Subject: Not invited to nieces wedding
I would just send a lovely card or give a call and explain exactly what you explained to us - no hard feelings, 100%, but you'd love to come to town and see people. How do they feel about it? I'm sure they'll be relieved you're not pissed and happy to see you! 
Anonymous
10/09/2013 16:57
Subject: Not invited to nieces wedding
I really like that idea, PP!
Such a relief from "GD it, I am going and so are my screaming rotten kids" attitude that usually prevails in the District of Selfish area.
I wish I knew you in real life, PP.
Such a relief from "GD it, I am going and so are my screaming rotten kids" attitude that usually prevails in the District of Selfish area.
I wish I knew you in real life, PP.
Anonymous
10/09/2013 15:28
Subject: Re:Not invited to nieces wedding
Anonymous wrote:Another possibility. Talk to your sister and mention that you are coming to see extended family (like the niece from Japan) and say that you would be willing to babysit kids, grand nieces and grand nephews who will not be going to the wedding to allow their parents to attend. It shows that you don't expect be invited to the wedding and would be willing to help the wedding couple out. Good gestures often go a long way in relieving awkwardness.
Clever, clever suggestion
Anonymous
10/09/2013 15:26
Subject: Re:Not invited to nieces wedding
Anonymous wrote:Another possibility. Talk to your sister and mention that you are coming to see extended family (like the niece from Japan) and say that you would be willing to babysit kids, grand nieces and grand nephews who will not be going to the wedding to allow their parents to attend. It shows that you don't expect be invited to the wedding and would be willing to help the wedding couple out. Good gestures often go a long way in relieving awkwardness.
I like this idea! Thank you so much!