BTW- I'm PP who now has a 1 hour commute in the morning rather than a 20 minute one. I find driving my kids in the morning is a great time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:find families which whom to carpool.

Not OP, but in a carpool scenario, is anyone ever willing to do a one-driver carpool?
Meaning, say you're a SAHP in MD or VA who has always driven your child into DC everyday. I WOH full-time. If I paid you for gas, would you be willing to drive my child with you on a daily basis?

Wow! I am shocked at the other answers to your question! I would totally help out and probably would turn down the gas money., if you live near me. I am surprised at the lack of kindness. Maybe people would react differently if they knew you...? I hope! No wonder we all feel alone and isolated.

The issue is that having additional kids in your car means that you are tied to bringing them home directly from school. You can't pick up your kids and head off to a park, you can't get together for in formal play dates with your children's friends, and you can't really do errands on your way home with other kids in tow. I used to carpool, and there was no problem with having an additional two children in the car. What it lacked, though, was any flexibility for the parent doing the driving. I wanted to be able to hang out with my kids at the library and do homework some days. I wanted to be able to schedule extracurriculars and I felt like, without having someone else's children in mind. By the time my kids were through early elementary years, we only went straight home from school one or possibly two days per week. And on some of those days, we had their friends coming home with us.

This may be different from when we parents were young, when people tended to do fewer outside activities after school. Also, the kids in my neighborhood growing up tended to play all together. Now that Kids from school are spread it throughout many neighborhoods, there's much more driving to and from play dates. So, I wouldn't take offense, or assume a parent who has chosen to stay at home is trying to be unfriendly, if she does not want to commit to driving additional kids, particularly for gas money. In fact, I would prefer to help someone out as a favor, rather then have a working parent offer me gas money. Really, it may come off as quite insulting. You may be able to find someone to help out, but I would be very careful how you approach it, as it might be easy to get a bad reputation if other parents feel you do not value their time, and especially their time with their kids.

I think you would have a better chance if you alternated weeks or days. Mornings can be doable if you find the right family . Evenings would tough unless kids were involved in the same activities. If you want that arrangement recommend you can take someone else's child to develop the relationship first.

I totally agree that most SAHM's are not going to be interested in driving unless they have have conflicts (kids at multiple schools). I don't think it is arrogant that they are that way. They sacrificed their career so they could focus on their families and your pay is most likely too little. We pay 250 per week for a driver/babysitter for 2.5 hours per day 3:30-6:00.

Anonymous wrote:People are so generous with other people's time. "Oh, I'm sure she wouldn't mind." "It won't be any trouble at all." "You're going there anyway, right?"

It's obvious some people feel like it is no problem and others think it is a huge problem.

You think is it is impossibly inconvenient to have another chilli your car, me ...not so much.

People are so generous with other people's time. "Oh, I'm sure she wouldn't mind." "It won't be any trouble at all." "You're going there anyway, right?"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:find families which whom to carpool.

Not OP, but in a carpool scenario, is anyone ever willing to do a one-driver carpool?
Meaning, say you're a SAHP in MD or VA who has always driven your child into DC everyday. I WOH full-time. If I paid you for gas, would you be willing to drive my child with you on a daily basis?

Maybe if the SAHP was really in need of money or extremely generous. I'm neither, I guess, and would rather just deal with my own kids.

This. I do not want to be tied down to your kid for gas money. If I needed it I would but it is not enough to make it worth it. If you were a long time friend who helped me, maybe. Hire a driver. I stay home to attend to my kids, not yours.

+1.

What lovely people you all are!

We hired a "chauffeur" from care.com College student to run pick-up. This works fine for elementary age. Not too sure what we are going to do for high school yet. I have told DSs that I will be driving them to the DMV to get permits/licences on all the key days.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:find families which whom to carpool.

Not OP, but in a carpool scenario, is anyone ever willing to do a one-driver carpool?
Meaning, say you're a SAHP in MD or VA who has always driven your child into DC everyday. I WOH full-time. If I paid you for gas, would you be willing to drive my child with you on a daily basis?

Maybe if the SAHP was really in need of money or extremely generous. I'm neither, I guess, and would rather just deal with my own kids.

And for what? $4 a day? No thanks.

Exactly! And, face it, it someone has the means to SAH in this area it is b/c they CHOSE to and can AFFORD to. No SAHM I know needs a few bucks from a worker.

Thanks. Good to know that's the thought process around here.
Growing up, I went to a private school on the other side of town and a nearby SAHM often drove the child of another family in addition to her own. She was going to school anyway, and it was no extra hassle. Obviously the other family had to handle transportation on their own when this mom couldn't do it, but most days it was no big deal for her to do it.

But... I think you may find a non-SAHP family would do this. I did for 3 years. It was no big deal I just had an extra kid in my car, who cares. sAHP get a little sensitive like their time is worth more than money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:find families which whom to carpool.

Not OP, but in a carpool scenario, is anyone ever willing to do a one-driver carpool?
Meaning, say you're a SAHP in MD or VA who has always driven your child into DC everyday. I WOH full-time. If I paid you for gas, would you be willing to drive my child with you on a daily basis?

Maybe if the SAHP was really in need of money or extremely generous. I'm neither, I guess, and would rather just deal with my own kids.

And for what? $4 a day? No thanks.

Exactly! And, face it, it someone has the means to SAH in this area it is b/c they CHOSE to and can AFFORD to. No SAHM I know needs a few bucks from a worker.

Thanks. Good to know that's the thought process around here.
Growing up, I went to a private school on the other side of town and a nearby SAHM often drove the child of another family in addition to her own. She was going to school anyway, and it was no extra hassle. Obviously the other family had to handle transportation on their own when this mom couldn't do it, but most days it was no big deal for her to do it.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I'm misunderstanding OP about the distances. I just checked my own home-school-work commute, and it's over 26 miles. It's a PITA, but not unbearable, especially because we carpool.

But even many simple commutes are over 20. As a test, I just checked the straightline commute from Carderock Springs to Maret to Dupont Circle, and it's 20 miles round trip. I imagine that's no uncommon. The school doesn't add any significant mileage to the commute; it's just the distance from the suburbs to downtown.

So my answer to OP is this: No, you're not crazy. The 20-mile round-trip commute you describe is a pretty common distance for people in the DC area, even if they don't have kids in private school.

I agree that the distance is not a big issue. In addition, I would note that living in G'town and commuting your child to, say, Sidwell's lower school in Bethesda and then back to work downtown would be even longer. I think it is harder to commute from downtown out to a suburban school and then back downtown or elsewhere to work. At least if the school is on the way to work, it can become part of the drive.

Many of us do the home/school/work drive and it is just something you get used to (and worth it if you like the school). We have 2 kids in 2 schools - one is nearby our home, the other is about 25 minutes away (not particularly close to home or work). It works out just fine -- and, like anything, some days are better/worse than others .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:find families which whom to carpool.

Not OP, but in a carpool scenario, is anyone ever willing to do a one-driver carpool?
Meaning, say you're a SAHP in MD or VA who has always driven your child into DC everyday. I WOH full-time. If I paid you for gas, would you be willing to drive my child with you on a daily basis?

Maybe if the SAHP was really in need of money or extremely generous. I'm neither, I guess, and would rather just deal with my own kids.

And for what? $4 a day? No thanks.

Exactly! And, face it, it someone has the means to SAH in this area it is b/c they CHOSE to and can AFFORD to. No SAHM I know needs a few bucks from a worker.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding OP about the distances. I just checked my own home-school-work commute, and it's over 26 miles. It's a PITA, but not unbearable, especially because we carpool.

But even many simple commutes are over 20. As a test, I just checked the straightline commute from Carderock Springs to Maret to Dupont Circle, and it's 20 miles round trip. I imagine that's no uncommon. The school doesn't add any significant mileage to the commute; it's just the distance from the suburbs to downtown.

So my answer to OP is this: No, you're not crazy. The 20-mile round-trip commute you describe is a pretty common distance for people in the DC area, even if they don't have kids in private school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:find families which whom to carpool.

Not OP, but in a carpool scenario, is anyone ever willing to do a one-driver carpool?
Meaning, say you're a SAHP in MD or VA who has always driven your child into DC everyday. I WOH full-time. If I paid you for gas, would you be willing to drive my child with you on a daily basis?

Maybe if the SAHP was really in need of money or extremely generous. I'm neither, I guess, and would rather just deal with my own kids.

And for what? $4 a day? No thanks.

Would not do it unless there was something really, really special and unique about the schools. We do a much shorter commute (30 minutes + traffi each way) for a unique SN school. We carpool and it still drives me nuts. I would never do it for a run of the mill school, even if I thought that school was somehow better than others.