11:04 here. Also, there's no way I could personally come up with the kind of money you're talking about without liquidating part of my investment portfolio or dipping into my retirement fund. But I'm not anywhere close to your sibling's demographic. That said, if they say they can't afford it, I would leave them alone about it. Even when it's family, it's rude to assume that people can afford things based on what you perceive their financial situation to be. They may have stuff going on that you don't know about because they have chosen not to tell you, and bugging them about is not going to win you any favors.

Anonymous wrote:I do not see why you are not going for aused car that is much more affordable at $8-10k and still safe and nice.

At that price point you are getting an almost 6 year old car. Most cars are trouble free for 10, so you are getting 4 years out of 10 for half the money. B/c of Great Recession used cars were bid up big, and now their is a constrained supply of used cars b/c people weren't buying new for several years. Plus rental companies are keeping cars way way longer, further curtailing supply.

http://www.edmunds.com/toyota/camry/2008/?sub=sedan&ps=used

Just like the mantra 'housing prices always go up' don't assume 'always buy used' is a constant truth. Do the math and check facts.

OP, we make $200k and only have a $500k house and could come up with the money easily. But your post is totally rubbing me the wrong way. You really have no idea if they are hugely in debt because of their choices. Maybe they are spenders and truly don't have it. Or perhaps more likely, maybe they think $10,000 is a HUGE expense to have to spend unexpectedly and they're balking because they will have to reevaluate saving or spending goals for the year or because they simply don't want to be forced to pay what is a ton of money by anyone's standards.

I get that you feel strongly that the parents do a lot for you and therefore they should be happy to help, but they said they don't have it and either way, you act like $10k is just a small sacrifice. A little recognition that it's a lot of money would be appreciated I'm sure.

And agree with the PPs - sounds like you have made the decision on what kind of car they should have and when and you just want your sibling to give you the money and butt out. You sound controlling and bossy. Why don't YOU just buy them a car if you think it's so important?

We could easily come up with $10 K (HHI is $240K, House is cheaper but no parental help, and we do have childcare costs).

I'll leave aside any opinions on whether I WOULD give the money for this purchase as it's not what you asked.

OP, I would strongly encourage you to look into options at dealerships like certified pre-owned. I recently bought a 2012 Corolla for around $10k (financing, plus traded in old, breaking down car for a down payment). My experience was that the car I bought, as well as several others on the lot, were "pre-owned" in so far as they had been leased vehicles before, which resulted in more care being taken with them and better maintenance over the period of the lease(s) than likely would have existed if they'd been privately owned for the same time period. I took advantage of a Labor Day sale, which was helpful as well. Shop around. Don't assume that $20k is what you'll have to pay. Most places have many options and will work with you as long as you remain consistent in your asks and requirements.

There is no way we could come up with 10k. And most people probably think we could (or should) be able to do so easily.

We have a similar situation with parents. We provide money, sibling #1 provides time and care which is equivalent or greater than my contribution and sibling #2 provides nothing which comes as no surprise to anyone.

Never thought much of Sibling #2 and probably never will.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not much savings b/c a) both laid off in their 50s. You know the drill. b) paid private school tuition for their daughters. There life has been giving of themselves for their kids; their house is old and not fancy and their car was ten years old.

Why do you feel obligated to buy them a second car???? It's not like they're without transportation.

If you want to pay them to reimburse them for child expenses that's fine. But maybe the other sibling doesn't feel the same way - they didn't expect to have to pay for babysitting.

Uh, to clarify, sorry. The car they *had* was 10 years old. It is gone to the scrap yard now; they have NO other transportation other than renting a car right now.

HHI of 150K, and we could come up with this money fairly painlessly (might drain emergency savings a bit but we would still have 6 months living expenses). I think it is great that you are helping. I would give anything to have my parents help with my kids, so seems like you really appreciate what you have and are a generous person. How about using 10k as a down payment, and then ask your sibling to make the monthly payments? Maybe that would be easier than coming up with the cash...but if they can't, they can't, and shouldn't be judged for it. People make different decisions based on their family situation.

Anonymous wrote:At that income all our spare money goes into retirememt and college to preserve tax efficiency. We could (just) swing it out of emergency funds, but it would clean us out of cash. It would take 5-6 months to replenish, and I'd be loathe to do that for a car while financing is still relatively cheap.

OP Here. Agree financing is way to go, especially with current rates. Interesting how lean most households run, I guess most of is are house poor! Surprised college funding takes precedence over supporting parents.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not much savings b/c a) both laid off in their 50s. You know the drill. b) paid private school tuition for their daughters. There life has been giving of themselves for their kids; their house is old and not fancy and their car was ten years old.

Why do you feel obligated to buy them a second car???? It's not like they're without transportation.

If you want to pay them to reimburse them for child expenses that's fine. But maybe the other sibling doesn't feel the same way - they didn't expect to have to pay for babysitting.

Anonymous wrote:I would offer $5000 but I cannot understand where all of your money is going. You have an expensive house so why do you need to move. Why don't you have more savings when you have no child care expenses? Something sounds off here.

Reading comprehension fail.

I would offer $5000 but I cannot understand where all of your money is going. You have an expensive house so why do you need to move. Why don't you have more savings when you have no child care expenses? Something sounds off here.

I do not see why you are not going for aused car that is much more affordable at $8-10k and still safe and nice.

Could the other sibling finance the remainder?