Anonymous
Post 09/26/2013 10:45     Subject: would you pay for college for a 30 year old?
Anonymous wrote:
Well you want him to graduate, right?
I do, I really do. I'm just afraid after graduation he'll ask for more money.

He was supposed to graduate last semester, but because he dropped and failed more classes it's been extended for another year. It's been 10 years for a four year program, I'm not exaggerating.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2013 10:43     Subject: would you pay for college for a 30 year old?
Anonymous wrote:

Sure, but he is the primary parent and seems to want to pay (and it sounds like you can afford it). I wouldn't want to create resentment.



We don't have any spare money lying around. We need it ourselves. There are lots of uses for the money - we need to replace a car, our dishwasher is dying at 15 years old, MIL's house needs repairs, we need more savings in emergency fund, etc. etc.

So paying for his education is not pain free.

Once we paid $20,000 for a year in a private school in an effort to prevent him from dropping out completely. He didn't study and failed half of his classes and dropped out anyway.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2013 10:42     Subject: would you pay for college for a 30 year old?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I like this offer:
After the kid graduates, offer to refund whatever he spent.


Then he'll get a student loan and ask us to reimburse him.

Well you want him to graduate, right?
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2013 10:36     Subject: would you pay for college for a 30 year old?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote: if I were you I would keep my mouth shut.

Why? It's our money. I have a voice in our financial decisions.


Sure, but he is the primary parent and seems to want to pay (and it sounds like you can afford it). I wouldn't want to create resentment.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2013 10:34     Subject: would you pay for college for a 30 year old?
Anonymous wrote: if I were you I would keep my mouth shut.

Why? It's our money. I have a voice in our financial decisions.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2013 10:32     Subject: would you pay for college for a 30 year old?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He'll blow whatever funds you give him on whatever he's blowing his time and money and energy on now.


I don't think he's a big spender, but he doesn't budget or plan ahead. He'll call us out of the blue that he needs 2000 for tuition tomorrow.
His father doesn't push him either - it's hard to push a 30 year old adult to do things certain way.

My husband says "oh, well, he hasn't asked for much" since he never paid for a full college education like other parents do for their kids who go the traditional route.

So even though it's a result of son's negligence and lack of financial discipline, my husband is OK with helping him. I'm reluctant to say the least. Because I feel like we're covering up for his laziness and lack of discipline.


Well, maybe this is just one of the things you have to suck up having married someone who had a previous family. If I were him I might not pay, but if I were you I would keep my mouth shut.


I agree
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2013 10:31     Subject: would you pay for college for a 30 year old?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He'll blow whatever funds you give him on whatever he's blowing his time and money and energy on now.


I don't think he's a big spender, but he doesn't budget or plan ahead. He'll call us out of the blue that he needs 2000 for tuition tomorrow.
His father doesn't push him either - it's hard to push a 30 year old adult to do things certain way.

My husband says "oh, well, he hasn't asked for much" since he never paid for a full college education like other parents do for their kids who go the traditional route.

So even though it's a result of son's negligence and lack of financial discipline, my husband is OK with helping him. I'm reluctant to say the least. Because I feel like we're covering up for his laziness and lack of discipline.


Well, maybe this is just one of the things you have to suck up having married someone who had a previous family. If I were him I might not pay, but if I were you I would keep my mouth shut.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2013 10:27     Subject: would you pay for college for a 30 year old?
Anonymous wrote:He'll blow whatever funds you give him on whatever he's blowing his time and money and energy on now.


I don't think he's a big spender, but he doesn't budget or plan ahead. He'll call us out of the blue that he needs 2000 for tuition tomorrow.
His father doesn't push him either - it's hard to push a 30 year old adult to do things certain way.

My husband says "oh, well, he hasn't asked for much" since he never paid for a full college education like other parents do for their kids who go the traditional route.

So even though it's a result of son's negligence and lack of financial discipline, my husband is OK with helping him. I'm reluctant to say the least. Because I feel like we're covering up for his laziness and lack of discipline.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2013 10:20     Subject: would you pay for college for a 30 year old?
Anonymous wrote:He sells cell phones and his employer pays for his classes? That sounds, well, fishy to me.

Usually if your employer pays for a degree there is some commitment to continuing to work for that employer for a set amount of time (and the degree has to benefit the company).


No, not fishy, he works for a major wireless provider. Many employers pay for employees' tuition these days. I don't know of any restrictions. It might be the case that he doesn't know either.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2013 09:50     Subject: would you pay for college for a 30 year old?
No.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2013 09:48     Subject: would you pay for college for a 30 year old?
No way, no how in this particular case.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2013 09:38     Subject: would you pay for college for a 30 year old?
He sells cell phones and his employer pays for his classes? That sounds, well, fishy to me.

Usually if your employer pays for a degree there is some commitment to continuing to work for that employer for a set amount of time (and the degree has to benefit the company).
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2013 09:34     Subject: would you pay for college for a 30 year old?
Another no for his specific case. I think the employer policy of only paying when he gets a C or better is just fine. Sounds like he still has to get his life and priorities together. Paying 25 percent himself isn't much to ask. He'll blow whatever funds you give him on whatever he's blowing his time and money and energy on now. He needs to focus. He might not be college material yet.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2013 09:34     Subject: would you pay for college for a 30 year old?
Anonymous wrote:Plus his employer only pays for classes where he gets a C. If he drops it or fails - he doesn't get reimbursed.


exactly - that's HIS fucking problem. Don't let it be yours.
Anonymous
Post 09/26/2013 09:24     Subject: would you pay for college for a 30 year old?
Plus his employer only pays for classes where he gets a C. If he drops it or fails - he doesn't get reimbursed.