^^ that's to use the paper, not option. Hate spell correct

^^ that's laughed at, not laughter

My son went to a private that's laughter at on this forum. Started college this year. He wrote his first paper, got an A+ and a request by the prof to use option as an example in the course.

The prof works on the industry. This bodes well for my son's future as it says he has skills that will translate well to the real world

Anonymous wrote:If it were so easy to do well based on failure, the kids in the slums would be doing the best, right? Kids today have enormous pressures that we didn't have before. They are not necessarily weak. I think it will only get better for kids and parents if everyone realizes that we need to raise more well balanced children and less one-dimensional ones. Unfortunately the colleges are hurting this effort by focusing on recruits that fit some niche of theirs instead of considering accomplished but still well balanced individuals like they used to.

++ agree. Plus everything now is marketing marketing marketing to get up that application rate and lower the acceptance rate so your institution looks better stats.-wise for U.S. News & World Report. My DC received (and this is not unusual) after his ED/EA acceptance email please from colleges to apply "we'll waive the application fee, push here" because they simply need to increase the numbers of applications so they can reject more. Thus they go from meh-LAC to SLAC. It's all an enormous game. Read Andy Ferguson's book. He has a hilarious chapter about how long it took for him to fill out the FAFSA.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ Yes, and the FAFSA is a bitch to fill out. We gave up and didn't even try.

It's not that bad, actually. You need a bunch of documents, like your W2s, 401(k), UGMA and 529 info. But why would you expect to be allowed to let these things go unreported?

If you think FAFSA is bad, try the CSS Profile! It is much worse.

If it were so easy to do well based on failure, the kids in the slums would be doing the best, right? Kids today have enormous pressures that we didn't have before. They are not necessarily weak. I think it will only get better for kids and parents if everyone realizes that we need to raise more well balanced children and less one-dimensional ones. Unfortunately the colleges are hurting this effort by focusing on recruits that fit some niche of theirs instead of considering accomplished but still well balanced individuals like they used to.

Anonymous wrote:Malcolm Gladwell wrote a great chapter about Middle Class/Upper middle class approach to parenting which he basically cribbs off Annette Lareu's anthropological study of how socioeconomic class affects parenting.

basically the short version is that middle class to upper middle class families want their kids to do at least as well if not better than them. They don't have a real financial legacy they can give their kids such as big trust or inheritance so instead they do a lot of helicopter parenting and micromanaging their kids lives to ensure the kid is successful in school, successful in getting into a good college and then that will help set the kid on a road to prosperity.

The problem is that college is getting increasingly more competitive and expensive (ivy league acceptance rate ranges from about 7-15 percent with 30-40,000 kids applying) and the job market in many fields is super competitive. I think it would be better to worry about whether my kid is going to be resilient and can overcome failure.

Really interesting, and a very good commentary on the extremely privileged, but rather weak, generation we're raising. Your last sentence is really the key to success for children, not what elementary school they go to. Thanks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is now hell and it's nothing like what we went through when we applied to college or to grad school. The world has completely changed.

Is this really true? I applied to college in the late-1990s, and the Ivy admissions process was fierce then, as it is now. For better or worse, parents in my Ivy League hometown spent years worrying about their children's chances, sent them to SAT prep camps, wrote their kids essays for them, and on and on. There were books on the admissions process discussing how to get in at the "right school".

I didn't even bother with the Ivies (SATs were just not at the appropriate theshold) - but still had a great college experience, earned a doctorate in my field, and have a job I enjoy.

I don't think the acceptance rates have changed by much but the number of people applying has grown almost every year and now there are more and more students from other countries applying.

Malcolm Gladwell wrote a great chapter about Middle Class/Upper middle class approach to parenting which he basically cribbs off Annette Lareu's anthropological study of how socioeconomic class affects parenting.

basically the short version is that middle class to upper middle class families want their kids to do at least as well if not better than them. They don't have a real financial legacy they can give their kids such as big trust or inheritance so instead they do a lot of helicopter parenting and micromanaging their kids lives to ensure the kid is successful in school, successful in getting into a good college and then that will help set the kid on a road to prosperity.

The problem is that college is getting increasingly more competitive and expensive (ivy league acceptance rate ranges from about 7-15 percent with 30-40,000 kids applying) and the job market in many fields is super competitive. I think it would be better to worry about whether my kid is going to be resilient and can overcome failure.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is now hell and it's nothing like what we went through when we applied to college or to grad school. The world has completely changed.

Is this really true? I applied to college in the late-1990s, and the Ivy admissions process was fierce then, as it is now. For better or worse, parents in my Ivy League hometown spent years worrying about their children's chances, sent them to SAT prep camps, wrote their kids essays for them, and on and on. There were books on the admissions process discussing how to get in at the "right school".

I didn't even bother with the Ivies (SATs were just not at the appropriate theshold) - but still had a great college experience, earned a doctorate in my field, and have a job I enjoy.

Anonymous wrote:^^^ Yes, and the FAFSA is a bitch to fill out. We gave up and didn't even try.

Oh come on. It's not that hard. If you can fill out a tax return, you can complete a FAFSA.

Both are annoying, but if you can read directions and do a little research on how the financial aid system works, this is not a high bar. It certainly shouldn't intimidate anyone with the professional skills to earn a good income and send their kids to good schools.

Anonymous wrote:^^^ Yes, and the FAFSA is a bitch to fill out. We gave up and didn't even try.

It's not that bad, actually. You need a bunch of documents, like your W2s, 401(k), UGMA and 529 info. But why would you expect to be allowed to let these things go unreported?

Read Andy Ferguson's "Crazy U: One Dad's Adventures in the College Admissions Process".

PP here. My brother went to the University of Illinois at Chicago because we are from the Chicago area. I didn't name the school because state schools have more regional name recognition. His grades were not strong enough to get into the flagship UIUC from our competitive high school, but he has done very well at UIC. He also got into Iowa and American University and a few others I'm forgetting. These aren't the world's most competitive schools in the world, but any one of them would have given him a fine education. Really this comes down to what you consider a "good" school. Someplace where your kid is happy and receives a good education or someplace where you can brag to your friends about?

It's nice to have a choice about filling out the FAFSA. My husband had to figure out how to fill it out all by himself at 18 or he wasn't going to college at all. His father handed him his tax returns and told him to figure it out. And my FIL is a small business owner so his tax return can't have been the simplest thing in the world. Somehow he managed.

^^^ Yes, and the FAFSA is a bitch to fill out. We gave up and didn't even try.