OP here - Im sorry if I sound bitchy but its hard not to - lots of history here. Too much to post but this woman is a truly a nightmare.

Honestly, OP, you sound pretty bitchy yourself.

Op Here -

Thanks everybody - sorry for the confusion - for the record the family tree is almost correct except my sister was not a teem mom, just a young married mom - had her kids at 20, 23 and 25 so although these kids are not my age, they are much closer to my age than my siblings - and we are a close family all around.

I have put my nephew in charge of my sister - since he and his fiance want the party she's calming down about the living hell that the shrew will likely cause for her middle son. We all secretly hope that she will go into one of her rages and not come - but that is not likely. The middle brother is happiest when she is not around and she knows it. It's a pitiful situation - she's the breadwinner and he's her bitch. He knew what she was like going into the marriage so it's hard to have much sympathy - it's his problem. I'll board the dogs and pretend I didn't know about the drama. I don't think my sister will fight too much about this one - but I feel for her. I would die if one of my kids married a nut job like the shrew. Thanks for all of the advice and support...

You can throw a party anyway you want as long as the engaged couple want to come. If they don't like your way of doing things, then no need to throw a party.

Re:dogs. Board them or keep in a room. I wouldn't want my kids around your dog either. Everyone says their dog is friendly. My son was bitten by a friendly dog and my aunt ended up in the hospital with serious complications from a friendly dog she knew for many years (belonged to family friends). Children are so unpredictable around dogs it can be stressful for your dog(s) too. Unless they visit all the time and know the dog well, keep the dog out of the room.

Anonymous wrote:Family Tree (as I see it):

Sister (16 years senior, apparently a teen mom whose youngest son is OP's age; she's a mess in the middle, grandmother of uninvited baby)

- Niece (Nephew-Godson's sister, former party recipient) + Not-In-Picture Nephew-in-law

- Nephew (aka "Middle Son", married to party-pooper problem shrew, father of uninvited baby, henceforth not part of picture) + Nephew's Shrew

- Nephew-Godson (prospective party recipient, who may or may not care about older brother's involvement and baby's invite)

... Have it at a restaurant.

I got the same idea of the family tree. OP should just have her party, invite shrew+husband (not baby, bay can stay home with babysitter as babies do not go to adults' parties). if they come or not is their business. never give in to a bit$$. things just escalate, so it is better to draw a very firm line early on, and if she does not like it, that's her problem. sounds like you are not going to be missing anything anyway