Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It's not cool for her to invite an unwelcome guest into your house
This. Your house, your rules.
Tell her it's your way or the highway.
I agree that she has broken the rules, but she is an adult living in a child's set of rules, no wonder she broke them. But it is your house and if it is outside your comfort zone, remind her of that, and also meet the guy (assuming it is only one...), invite him over for dinner or something, and try to create an environment for everyone to get to know each other a bit.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you're being just as strict as her parents. Have a talk with her to confirm she's having safe sex, offer to go with her to get testing and/or birth control and condoms, and have her invite the guy over for dinner so he can meet the family.
Be a good cousin!
You DO realize that if you kick her out, she will move in with the boyfriend and the DH's cousin's parents will blame you, right?
Err no. It's not your place to make sure a 22 year old is having safe sex. She's not a teenager, she's an adult.
I spoke with my 85 year old grandfather about safe sex when he started dating after my grandmother had died. It's not about age. It's about reminding people you love to be careful with their health and helping them to do that if they need it.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you're being just as strict as her parents. Have a talk with her to confirm she's having safe sex, offer to go with her to get testing and/or birth control and condoms, and have her invite the guy over for dinner so he can meet the family.
Be a good cousin!
You DO realize that if you kick her out, she will move in with the boyfriend and the DH's cousin's parents will blame you, right?
Err no. It's not your place to make sure a 22 year old is having safe sex. She's not a teenager, she's an adult.
I spoke with my 85 year old grandfather about safe sex when he started dating after my grandmother had died. It's not about age. It's about reminding people you love to be careful with their health and helping them to do that if they need it.
Because pregnancy and STIs are of huge concern to the 80 and up club? If there's a group of people that don't need to worry, that's it.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you're being just as strict as her parents. Have a talk with her to confirm she's having safe sex, offer to go with her to get testing and/or birth control and condoms, and have her invite the guy over for dinner so he can meet the family.
Be a good cousin!
You DO realize that if you kick her out, she will move in with the boyfriend and the DH's cousin's parents will blame you, right?
Err no. It's not your place to make sure a 22 year old is having safe sex. She's not a teenager, she's an adult.
I spoke with my 85 year old grandfather about safe sex when he started dating after my grandmother had died. It's not about age. It's about reminding people you love to be careful with their health and helping them to do that if they need it.
Because pregnancy and STIs are of huge concern to the 80 and up club? If there's a group of people that don't need to worry, that's it.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you're being just as strict as her parents. Have a talk with her to confirm she's having safe sex, offer to go with her to get testing and/or birth control and condoms, and have her invite the guy over for dinner so he can meet the family.
Be a good cousin!
You DO realize that if you kick her out, she will move in with the boyfriend and the DH's cousin's parents will blame you, right?
Err no. It's not your place to make sure a 22 year old is having safe sex. She's not a teenager, she's an adult.
I spoke with my 85 year old grandfather about safe sex when he started dating after my grandmother had died. It's not about age. It's about reminding people you love to be careful with their health and helping them to do that if they need it.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:WTF? you say the parents are too strict about the boyfriend, but then impose the same rules yourself (no boyfriend welcome)? I mean, send her back home because what is the point of her staying with you?
It sounds like there was so much conflict between the cousin & her parents that it was decided to let her live with the OP. The boyfriend staying overnight wasn't part of the arrangement.
OP, I agree with other posters, the cousin needs to go.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It's not cool for her to invite an unwelcome guest into your house
This. Your house, your rules.
Tell her it's your way or the highway.
Anonymous wrote:She's an adult living rent free in your home. If she can't follow the rules, she can get her own place.
Anonymous wrote:It's not cool for her to invite an unwelcome guest into your house
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So you are saying she has to sleep at home every night, but the boyfriend is not allowed to stay over? What is she supposed to do? Why don't you invite the boyfriend over to dinner so the whole family has a chance to meet him, then ask the cousin to give you a bit of advance notice when he is going to stay over in the future. If you are not prepared to do that, kick her out. But don't continue the current situation where you treat a 22-year-old like she is 15, and thereby encourage sneaky 15-year-old behavior rather than adult responsibility.
Read the bible!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you're being just as strict as her parents. Have a talk with her to confirm she's having safe sex, offer to go with her to get testing and/or birth control and condoms, and have her invite the guy over for dinner so he can meet the family.
Be a good cousin!
You DO realize that if you kick her out, she will move in with the boyfriend and the DH's cousin's parents will blame you, right?
Err no. It's not your place to make sure a 22 year old is having safe sex. She's not a teenager, she's an adult.