Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it wasn't the electronics it would be something else. OP is right to insist this boy be off the bus.

I'm OP. Should have read your post first - I said similar. Thank you.

I agree that they'll find something else. But these are expensive items to have broken and they are target items. If they get broken neither the school nor the kid's parents will replace them. Just as I tell my kids no electronics on the metro bus, I'd say the same about the school bus. But then I can't afford to replace my kids' electronics and neither can they. And hard as it is, it's not likely the kid will be removed from the bus, a least not yet. There is quite a process for this sort of thing, at least in MoCo.

When it comes to bullying, in addition to relying on the school, and our MoCo school has been great, I tell my so. That he has to minimize his attractiveness as a target.

And when a kid is simply minding his own business, looking out the window, and becomes the target (look at that kid 'spacing out', etc), how does one do this?

Let's put this differently: How would, say, my Asperger's nephew minimize his attractiveness as a target? By not having Aspergers?

Some kids are just mean. These kids have a history of being mean. Mean kids need to be stopped in their tracks, not pushed to the next target.

Anonymous wrote:So sorry he's going thru this. Having been on the school staff side before, you might get a better response if you can save your anger for the bully himself. Just be careful to not do too much insisting and demanding. Firmly and respectfully requesting help works better IME. As for the bus driver, he needs to focus on safe driving, and cannot be expected to intervene. These are all hard working people who deserve our respect and gratitude as much as your son does. Does FCPS allow volunteer bus monitors? Again, so sorry and good luck.

Had a good talk with the VP this AM. He did his job well and so far, so good. The volunteer bus monitor is not a bad plan. I should put his big brother up to that - he has some free time away from GMU at bus hours

OP here. VP called. First step is to move the tormentors a few seats up on the bus and closer to the driver. My son is under instruction to tell me if the two bother him in classes as well; they did in the one class they have together.

Sounds like a good first step. My son does defend himself when pushed to the wall - and did - so hopefully they will move on to the next kid, and that will 'out' them as troublemakers like it did in elementary. They are not well-liked on the whole so picking on kids (they try it with a few others as well) is probably their way of getting noticed.

So sorry he's going thru this. Having been on the school staff side before, you might get a better response if you can save your anger for the bully himself. Just be careful to not do too much insisting and demanding. Firmly and respectfully requesting help works better IME. As for the bus driver, he needs to focus on safe driving, and cannot be expected to intervene. These are all hard working people who deserve our respect and gratitude as much as your son does. Does FCPS allow volunteer bus monitors? Again, so sorry and good luck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it wasn't the electronics it would be something else. OP is right to insist this boy be off the bus.

I'm OP. Should have read your post first - I said similar. Thank you.

I agree that they'll find something else. But these are expensive items to have broken and they are target items. If they get broken neither the school nor the kid's parents will replace them. Just as I tell my kids no electronics on the metro bus, I'd say the same about the school bus. But then I can't afford to replace my kids' electronics and neither can they. And hard as it is, it's not likely the kid will be removed from the bus, a least not yet. There is quite a process for this sort of thing, at least in MoCo.

When it comes to bullying, in addition to relying on the school, and our MoCo school has been great, I tell my so. That he has to minimize his attractiveness as a target.

Anonymous wrote:Good luck with this. My little brother was bullied horribly in elementary school, and I wished my parents did something about it.

Thank you. Won't happen here. I push back and so does my kid.

Anonymous wrote:Could you talk to the parents too? In your post you said they said they are troubled, but the fact that you are aware of this at all indicates that you have some kind of relationship with them. Perhaps show them the Instagram comments you mentioned and then tell them that the bullying is continuing? You would need to do this in a calm, manner that shows you are asking for help, not judging them as parents. I don't think the school can remove a child from the bus permanently, so it might be helpful to have the parents in your corner.

The father is a drunk. The mother has checked out because the father is a drunk. My daughter was friends with their daughter in elementary. When they got to middle school, the daughter started getting into drugs and alcohol and my daughter pulled away. The parents will not do much; they didn't with their daughter's behavior either. Easier to check out.

Could you talk to the parents too? In your post you said they said they are troubled, but the fact that you are aware of this at all indicates that you have some kind of relationship with them. Perhaps show them the Instagram comments you mentioned and then tell them that the bullying is continuing? You would need to do this in a calm, manner that shows you are asking for help, not judging them as parents. I don't think the school can remove a child from the bus permanently, so it might be helpful to have the parents in your corner.

Anonymous wrote:Drive him. If you can't, hire someone to do so.

Exactly what I intend to do. Will drive him. His locker is 4 from my son's. We'll see if the kid continues at school.

My son said that a couple other kids stuck up for him, and the bus driver did indeed ask what was going on. I'm very pleased to hear that!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you talk with administration, I would recommend only bringing up the issues that your son is experiencing. There is nothing they can do about the older sister and your friend's child, that is the past. You want the focus on your son, and what is happening to him now, in the present. For confidentiality reasons, they are not going to discuss those other issues with you, and it might give them the impression you are a busy body. I'm not being critical, there are just a few things I have learned over the years.

I agree - I'm sticking with my son's issue. If they don't handle it, or brush it off, then I'll go there.

I wouldn't bring up the other girl at all. It's over with... Let it go. It doesn't even involve you.

If they refuse to act, bringing it up to remind them how they refuse to act will be an interesting exercise - one they can discuss with the school board.

Anonymous wrote:If it wasn't the electronics it would be something else. OP is right to insist this boy be off the bus.

I'm OP. Should have read your post first - I said similar. Thank you.

Anonymous wrote:45 minutes on a bus? Is this TJ or something?

Nope

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School was responsive, but how and what happened after school intervened? Hard to offer suggestions without this information.

Regardless of policy re: allowable use of electronics on the bus, I'd tell my kid to put away the phone and iPod whenever this kid is on the bus. Just e cause you can use electronics doesn't make it wise to do so.

It's a 45 minute ride. If he wants to listen to some music, so be it. Electronics doesn't play into this. You might not like them, but it doesn't.

OP says that they take his iphone and iPod and taunt him with them. So, yes they do figure in.

I AM OP and they will simply find something else to do - such are bullies.

Good luck with this. My little brother was bullied horribly in elementary school, and I wished my parents did something about it.

Drive him. If you can't, hire someone to do so.