Anonymous wrote:Seems just a little crazy to me -- why would you call a Fifth Grader you do not even know a Queen Bee, and it sounds like, if you mentioned this to your daughter, you have likely poisoned what could have been a perfectly good relationship. Which you will certainly do if you confiscate her phone again, best way to ensure no return friends. Who does that? Yikes. Kids make videos all the time, post them some times and get like three views. Relax though that seems highly unlikely.

Anyone who's attended middle school and has two brain cells to rub together can recognize "queen bee" behavior. Yeesh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids have smartphones. Middle one has his since 4th grade. One thing I did was hook us all up to the iCloud. Whenever they take photos, the photos show up on my phone. Videos too. I haven't seen anything where my kids have intentionally taken embarrassing photos but they have taken them. And they've used Apps to edit non embarrassing photos. I always discuss this with them and we delete. Also I check texts. Kids do dumb things - even good ones.

So true. And now they can be taped, broadcast, and exist forever on the internet. I was definitely a "good kid" and I cringe to think of some of the dumb, humiliating, or even naively cruel things I did at that age. I'm so grateful I grew up and don't have them following me around.

Posters who are saying, "Just relax, there's nothing that can go wrong here!" are, unfortunately, completely wrong.

+1

Seems just a little crazy to me -- why would you call a Fifth Grader you do not even know a Queen Bee, and it sounds like, if you mentioned this to your daughter, you have likely poisoned what could have been a perfectly good relationship. Which you will certainly do if you confiscate her phone again, best way to ensure no return friends. Who does that? Yikes. Kids make videos all the time, post them some times and get like three views. Relax though that seems highly unlikely.

If this queen bee kid does use the video to embarrass your daughter somehow, I'd say that the silver lining is that this is a relatively benign way for her to learn about the consequences of videos/photos being used against her. Better this way than with nude selfies a few years down the road.

Anonymous wrote:My kids have smartphones. Middle one has his since 4th grade. One thing I did was hook us all up to the iCloud. Whenever they take photos, the photos show up on my phone. Videos too. I haven't seen anything where my kids have intentionally taken embarrassing photos but they have taken them. And they've used Apps to edit non embarrassing photos. I always discuss this with them and we delete. Also I check texts. Kids do dumb things - even good ones.

So true. And now they can be taped, broadcast, and exist forever on the internet. I was definitely a "good kid" and I cringe to think of some of the dumb, humiliating, or even naively cruel things I did at that age. I'm so grateful I grew up and don't have them following me around.

Posters who are saying, "Just relax, there's nothing that can go wrong here!" are, unfortunately, completely wrong.

My kids have smartphones. Middle one has his since 4th grade. One thing I did was hook us all up to the iCloud. Whenever they take photos, the photos show up on my phone. Videos too. I haven't seen anything where my kids have intentionally taken embarrassing photos but they have taken them. And they've used Apps to edit non embarrassing photos. I always discuss this with them and we delete. Also I check texts. Kids do dumb things - even good ones.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't worry about it being upload as much as texted to other friends - and look out for more kids to end up with iPhones in the next few weeks as parents upgrade to the new 5s and pass down old iphone 4/4s/5.

+1000

Anonymous wrote:Yikes y'all are strict! My son had a smartphone in 3rd grade, so did all his friends. They filmed, took pics and so on. All are in middle school now and never had any issues at all.

That you know of....

I meant phones are huge with tweens.

When my DD was 11 suddenly everyone had phones. With my DS it took a bit longer. But phones are huge with teens. Its probably developmentally appropriate for them to be yakking away with their friends. But the expensive hardware is a new twist. Our DD got a phone, not a smartphone, at that age. But PP is right that parents are probably passing their old iphones off to their kids.

Yikes y'all are strict! My son had a smartphone in 3rd grade, so did all his friends. They filmed, took pics and so on. All are in middle school now and never had any issues at all.

I wouldn't worry about it being upload as much as texted to other friends - and look out for more kids to end up with iPhones in the next few weeks as parents upgrade to the new 5s and pass down old iphone 4/4s/5.

OP, I think that you are on the right track of being concerned. The Queen Bee child might not upload it herself but could with the help of an older sibling, etc.

Kids filming other kids without parental consent is shaky ground no matter how much other parents want to believe it is just innocent child's play.

Adult technology in kids' hands minus parental supervision is just too much freedom. Why has it become so awesome to give children so much access to adult things... The children are acting as their own authority figures.

Discouraging her from being friends with this kid sounds like an over-reaction--unless of course this kid was filming them nude or something. I think the making of a music video is pretty harmless. Kids sing to music with their friends all the time, now they have the capability to film it.

OP, I'd use this situation to teacher your kid about Internet safety and what can potentially happen to something that's recorded. I wouldn't go into cyberbully specifically.

Anonymous wrote:5th graders with smartphones? Where are you living? We're in a Bethesda ES and don't see this.

My nephew had one in 5th grade and got in trouble with it in school, spreading rumors to other friends who have them.

They don't usually upload videos to the Internet at that age, but they do text them to God and country. And they can be used for teasing.

OP, not sure of the best approach myself, but the suggestion to discourage socializing with that particular girl sounds like a good one.