Very strange invite. I'd skip it entirely, to bring all that to someone's house is work! What is the host bringing?

These people seem like they have no friends or are completely in their own world. I have no problem with "bring a side dish, or dessert" but seriously?

There is no way I would attend...I also would not be friends with these people.

I would probably go becaue you like the family so that is the most important issue. I would, however, just pack a picninc style meal for my family. I would not go through the hassle of bringing raw meat to someone's house. I might bring a shareable dessert.

You said you weren't going to go, which was the right thing to do. You don't need to say anything else or point out that it was odd/rude.

I wouldn't respond with mean-spirited thoughts. Maybe they love to have people over but can't quite afford to feed them? Some people aren't so "middle class" that their HHI is "only" $350K+.

If they are kind of strapped, I would feel that at least they value the company of friends even if they don't really have enough money right now. That's not a crime, so show some grace and don't be so quick to judge.

Of course, if they're just being cheap bastards, they can suck it.

It's a very cheap one. The hosts obviously like the idea of a party but don't want to shell out any money for guests. You have been invited to share their space and talk to them and that's it. A potluck is one level of casualness but this goes even beyond that.

How extremely odd...bring your own meat.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - is there anyway for me to point this out to her without hurting her feelings???

No, there is no polite way to tell somebody that their invitation is not polite.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, we're gonna need you to come the day before to mow the lawn, too.

Well Gatsby did come over and mowed Nick Carraway's lawn before the tea with Daisy. Brought flowers too.

No, that's not accurate. Gatsby paid somebody to mow the lawn, and had somebody deliver the flowers. If you're talking about the book, that is.

(I'm picky because I love The Great Gatsby (the book, that is).)

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, we're gonna need you to come the day before to mow the lawn, too.

Well Gatsby did come over and mowed Nick Carraway's lawn before the tea with Daisy. Brought flowers too.

Anonymous wrote:Are they Scandinavian by any chance? I have come across similar invitations from Norwegians...

They are midwestern with very ordinary English sounding last names.

That's absurd. I'd skip it. But no, OP, there's no way for you to point out to them how rude their invitation to cook yourself dinner at their house is.

Anonymous wrote:Now that you've told us, you have to go. So you can come back and report what it was like.

I initially had said "maybe" on the FB invite, but she changed the time to a little bit later and so now I have an excuse to skip it because we had (very tenative) plans for later in the evening so now I updated my response to "not going" and I wrote her a short note thanking her for the invite but declining due to other plans.

I really wanted to link to Miss Manners or this thread but I just bring myself to do that.

Yeah, we're gonna need you to come the day before to mow the lawn, too.

Anonymous wrote:Is this a neighborhood party? Other than that, very, very strange.

NO - It is her family's "End of Summer" BBQ. She invited about 6 - 8 families.