OP - why don't you try to find a different part-time job or try to make it work so that you can stay home?

I work part-time from home. I have three kids. All my friends who work full-time are exhausted. Many of them gave up working full-time after the 2nd or 3rd child. IT was just not worth it in terms of the hassle, the costs of daycare, the cost of work clothes, etc etc.

Really, if you want to stay home, unless you are a single parent or your spouse in unemployed, I bet you could make it work to live on one salary. This prob. means a lesser standard of living, but not being stressed is worth it.

This thread is making me get choked up. Right there with you, OP. My baby is 12 months and I am still struggling. We are seriously discussing leaving the area so I can get out of the rat race. Not sure I will be happy without a job but I can't stand missing my baby all the time.

I totally agree. I left my 10 week old baby to go back to work a month ago and my heart breaks every day I leave him. I hate it hate it hate it hate it.

I try to feel grateful to have employment and have health insurance. I went through a couple of years of having neither (which is why I need to be working now...burned down my savings to zero). I just hate to miss so much of his life.

Love, love, love my job. But it took me years to get here. I now work from home full time. The downside is that my team is world wide. Those 2am conference calls are killer. However, when the kids were still little and not sleeping through the night, it was fine since I was already up. Now they sleep and I still have the calls. The plus side is the 1pm nap before the afternoon rush of the kids. Someday I will sleep again like a normal person, but not in the foreseable future.

OP I feel your pain. I try to focus on the positive: not worrying (as much) about finances, coffee and lunch breaks by myself, nice work clothes, discrete tasks to focus on apart from family/home...every once and a while I do use PTO while kids are at daycare and take time for myself to just hit the gym, shop, read, go to a museum, whatever.

But I would give it all up in a heartbeat to stay home.

Me too, and I love my job and my kids are in school now. I so so wish I could get out in time to pick them up at 3:15 or take them to activities or leave early for the beach!

Anonymous wrote:There, I said it. I don't have a choice, I have to work. But I am so envious of all the SAHMs who get to take their kids to kindergarten, pick them up, hear about their kid's day. I don't get home until around 5pm and by then the kids are grumpy and tired. Okay, pity party over, back to work.

Me too OP, me too. Makes me so sad.

Anonymous wrote:

I guess this is just an example of how you can't have it all. Or maybe it's an example of how workplaces don't make it easy for PT employees? Maybe I wouldn't have this fear of being the "slacker" PT worker if those schedules were more accepted. Although I have a feeling, PT workers (at least in an office environment) will never be seen as equal (or proportionate) contributors. Maybe you just have to learn to be okay with that?

+1 But I think I would be OK with that. After a baby priorities change. I think I would be OK with seeing other people advance more (and work more) while I did my best but had balance. I think so.....

FTM, still in the 12 week 'I don't know what hit-me, sleep deprived, confused but I can't believe I made this beautiful adorable creature bliss.
After reading this and and some other posts, no idea how I am going to manage work and baby. I am in my late 30s so not young any ore and this son will be our only child, don't want to miss out but its soooo expensive living here and at 40 my husband with a doctorate still can't support us

The part-time schedules would be great because I always feel guilty that I'm not spending enough time with my child during the week. But at the same time, I don't want to be one of those employees who becomes marginalized because of a PT schedule. I like my job and I work hard when I'm at work; I don't want to be one of those people who can't make it to a meeting at a certain time because of his/her schedule. I'm by no means a workaholic (I work a standard 40 hours/week), but I like working full-time and contributing 100%. However, I wish there were more hours in the day so I could also have more time at home.....

I guess this is just an example of how you can't have it all. Or maybe it's an example of how workplaces don't make it easy for PT employees? Maybe I wouldn't have this fear of being the "slacker" PT worker if those schedules were more accepted. Although I have a feeling, PT workers (at least in an office environment) will never be seen as equal (or proportionate) contributors. Maybe you just have to learn to be okay with that?

I love my work, and I love being a parent. I just don't like doing both at the same time. Need more hours in the day...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't hate it, but I totally get you. I am really envious of all my SAHM friends. I do like my job, though, and I like that I get home at night and can talk to my husband about work stuff, not just kid stuff. He likes it, too.

I would love to work 9-2:30, four days a week. That would be ideal.

+1. I absolutely covet a schedule like that!

Me too - that is exactly what I want!

Anonymous wrote:Work is my relaxing place. Won't trade it for the world.

what line of work - I need to switch!!

I"m the PP...I meant "I HAVE lady parts, which is why I should be home".

I don't hate lady parts. Ok, sometimes I do...but not normally! Thanks, autocorrect.

Anyway, it's the culture. It's insane. In and out of my office. I wish we did more to support mothers (and women in general) to have a path that makes them and their families more successful.

I just started back at work, so I feel your pain. I miss my baby!!