Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't DH just go without you? It's HIS mother.
"Where's Jackie?"
"She's working 70 hours a week this month and couldn't make it. She asked me to give you this card and send along her love though; she's SO sorry she couldn't get away."

+1

I agree w/ this.

Seems like the larger issue here is getting on the same page with your husband. You need to find a way to survive the demands of family and job in an especially difficult period. You both need to figure that out together and find a solution that you both can live with and support.

Sometimes you just can't do everything OP - and when that happens you have to prioritize. That's life. It's hard but so be it - it is ok to say no to preserve your sanity. (Which, by the way, means you're also preserving and protecting your own nuclear family.)

Good luck.

Op why are you involved in this? This is your husband's mom..he should decide what goes with his mother, maybe this milestone is more important to him than the other stuff. My gut is that op is controlling and needs to decide everything. I see this a lot in this area. Husband should go if he wants.

Hold up - you are travelling THREE weekends in ONE month for the same family?? You are a saint. Seriously.

I would do what others have suggested - offer to do a b-day celebration one of the other weekends.

Holy schmoly they have some nerve expecting you to FLY three times in one month.

I feel for you, OP. My MIL just turned 70. When FIL turned 70, she planned this huge weekend long party. He planned... for us to leave our vacation to fly out for the weekend to see her. I might have done it, but DH was intractably opposed (he doesn't really like his mother). So I feel guilty. I made sure the kids and I sent her several lovely and thoughtful gifts.

Why is your husband mad? I could see disappointed or whatever, but mad? Does he not get that you'll be super busy, stressed, and wrung out? What are the other family events for your family?

I do like a PPs point about looking back later in life. If DH does all the work, and maybe you spend a shorter amount if time there and he travels with the kids separately, I'd probably try to make it work. But it sucks!

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. Don't go. Dh can go with the kids if he wants to.
Mil wants to see her son and grandkids, not you

+1. Then, send some pretty flowers and enjoy your quiet, much need weekend of peace and relaxation. Shame on DH for not being more supportive of you and your grueling work schedule. Geez.

Anonymous wrote:Why can't DH just go without you? It's HIS mother.
"Where's Jackie?"
"She's working 70 hours a week this month and couldn't make it. She asked me to give you this card and send along her love though; she's SO sorry she couldn't get away."

+1

If IL family is already gathering 2 other times that same month where MIL will be present, it is logical to do the party then...unless somehow it interferes with the events planned for those other times (e.g. wedding). How far are we talking? California or Chicago?