Years before FB I told a close friend I was pregnant and please don't tell anyone. I wanted to tell my close friends on my own terms.

Five seconds later my phone rings and another friend hears from the grapevine I was pregnant.

This so called friend called at least ten others to give them my news.

Once the cat is out of the bag it is out of the bag.

Change your privacy settings, duh. You are in complete control as to what appears on your FB and who sees it once it's there.

Anonymous wrote:Did you ask her not to tell anyone? Sounds like she was happy and excited and put up a post about it. What exactly did she do wrong? Most people aren't keeping pregnancy a secret at 20 weeks; it would never occur to me to keep it under wraps unless I was told. You're overreacting.

I was thinking the same thing.

Did you ask her not to tell anyone? Sounds like she was happy and excited and put up a post about it. What exactly did she do wrong? Most people aren't keeping pregnancy a secret at 20 weeks; it would never occur to me to keep it under wraps unless I was told. You're overreacting.

You should have warned everyone not to tell anyone
Still tho not cool of sil to post

This happened to me with the announcement if the gender if my first, except it was a cousin. I caught it quickly and asked her to remove it, but I didn't blame her at all. I should've been more clear about how I wanted the info disseminated.

Anonymous wrote:Aaaaaaand, this is precisely why I do not "friend" co-workers on FB. Rookie move, OP. You must be under 30.

+1 and why didn't you specifically say "please don't share this news as there are still people we would like to tell in person."

There's no denying that this stinks, but I think OP should shoulder the majority of the fault here.

Also, OP, I'm guessing this is your first. Let this be a lesson to you now about FB, relatives and pictures of your kids, etc. SIL sounds like the type who is going to plaster her page with pics of your kid-- which may be fine with you, but there have been past threads about this where it's driven the parents crazy. Maybe time to dial back the FB settings now.

It's not SIL's news to share. There are dozens of reasons to delay telling people, particularly bosses, particularly if OP and/or others have had complicated pregnancies. I waited until I was nearly 20 weeks once because of health concerns.

Your boss shouldn't have reacted that way, but unfortunately you'll have to make amends with the boss to keep the peace.

Your DH should give your SIL a lecture about discretion and how posting anything on Facebook amounts to a press release before the entire planet, but SIL's actions make it sound like she just won't get it. My sympathies.

Congratulations to you and DH on your pregnancy.

While I agree that SIL should have asked before posting, I think your boss's response was inappropriate.
People generally tell their family before they tell people at work.
Tell boss you wanted to wait until you got a good report from the OB, and now you have and now you've told family and now you are telling work.

PP- I meant also happend not almost happened.

Wow, talk about someone who is all about them!! So sorry this happened to you OP! This almost happened to me- SIL was being pushy about a photo for IL's Christmas card (which we didn't want to partake in) and then I mention to her, dont say anything about (our daughter arriving in April)--her response- sorry it's in there already went to the printer. We miscarried on Christmas. People still ask us about the baby from the card. Lesson learned-- be explicit when you share anything to anyone that you don't want the world to know.

Anonymous wrote:Also, it's really rude of your boss to put you on blast like that. She should've faked like she didn't know.

Exactly. She sounds like most of the histrionic bitches I've worked for/with in this city.

I think I would close the Facebook acct, but that's just me.

But what a weird reaction from your supervisor (icy? really?). She really expected you tell her before you told your own families? I can understand maybe why she would have appreciated being told before the news was broadcast very publicly and clients/higher ups/HR started asking her about it before she even knew about it...but did that even happen?

At any congratulations on your baby girl, OP!

Not cool on her part, BUT the first thing we said after telling family we were expecting was "don't tell anyone yet until we can let the people we need to know personally, and no facebook until after we facebook it if we decide to do so". This happens all the time, and unfortunately these days you need to specify these things with people.

As for your boss, she shouldn't have approached you like that, but it was indeed within your right to tell family before work. Most companies have a policy regarding how long you need to let them know before a planned expended absence, and chances are you are within the time frame you need to be.