Anonymous
Post 08/12/2013 09:54     Subject: Re:what to expect of ExDh
Anonymous wrote:I just think your DD needs to learn that she can't just invite herself on outings. If they had wanted her to come, they would've asked her to come.


Are you the trolling GF?
What the hell is wrong with people. Kids deserve 100% parents. Now parents firgure it out!.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2013 09:52     Subject: what to expect of ExDh
Anonymous wrote:Jeez, a father told his seven-year-old he was doing something that seven - year-olds would like to do. She asked to come along, and he said "yes". GF is totally out of line here.

I would have this conversation with the ex: "Look, who you date is your business, but warn this one that she better never tell me again that our child is a bother to her and ruins her weekends. If this happens again, you will be getting NO weekends if she is around, because I will not put our child in the position of being in the company of an adult who views her as a threat. "
If he's smart, he'll ask what happened and realize that GF is a bitch.


oh... I need to save this line.....
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2013 09:51     Subject: what to expect of ExDh
Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids and for the most part my Ex and I co parent together pretty successfully. Ex has a girlfriend who I have meet (about 6 months ago) and like well enough. She has 2 kids who are slightly older than mine. This morning my Ex and DD were talking on the phone and he mentioned today they were going with Girlfriend's children to a museum. My DD asked if she could join and Ex said if it was ok with me she could. My other kids had athletic commitments and weren't interested in going anyway so it actually worked out quite well. I am getting DD ready for the activity when Ex calls me and says that after thinking about it further and talking with Girlfriend about it, the day is set up for her older kids and he thinks DD would be bored. I tell him if she gets bored I will come and get her, he sighs but agrees that is fair. When Ex comes and picks up DD Girlfriend pulls me aside and tells me how selfish it was to steal one of their weekends together and that my kids already take up half the month. I looked her in the eye and said that my kids are free to take as much time with their Dad as they please. I am later reviewing the situation and wonder I crossed some boundaries. Neutral opinions appreciated.


I'd casually mention this to ExDh the next time he is alone to pick up the kids and you look hot. This biatch is NOT a keeper and you need to get her away. He can be with someone else BUT that someone should not be jealous of the time he spends with his kids.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2013 22:19     Subject: what to expect of ExDh
Jeez, a father told his seven-year-old he was doing something that seven - year-olds would like to do. She asked to come along, and he said "yes". GF is totally out of line here.

I would have this conversation with the ex: "Look, who you date is your business, but warn this one that she better never tell me again that our child is a bother to her and ruins her weekends. If this happens again, you will be getting NO weekends if she is around, because I will not put our child in the position of being in the company of an adult who views her as a threat. "

If he's smart, he'll ask what happened and realize that GF is a bitch.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2013 21:58     Subject: what to expect of ExDh
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your ex tried to get out of it gracefully, and you pushed it.



I agree. Your DD asked to go when she wasn't invited. Your ex kind of balked and that's when I would've told DD that it probably isn't the best idea. The new GF really had no say in the matter so I can understand why she was upset. Next time, teach your DD not to invite herself and all will be fine.


What?!? It is her father for cripes sake.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2013 21:49     Subject: what to expect of ExDh
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your ex tried to get out of it gracefully, and you pushed it.



I agree. Your DD asked to go when she wasn't invited. Your ex kind of balked and that's when I would've told DD that it probably isn't the best idea. The new GF really had no say in the matter so I can understand why she was upset. Next time, teach your DD not to invite herself and all will be fine.


How about instead of that...next time, her ex-husband doesn't brag to his own kid about excursions he's taking with other kids--especially, when he's ass enough not to want his own kid to come along.


It isn't bragging to say what you are doing on the weekend. dad has two weekends a month when he is with gf and her two kids. Is he always supposed to act like they aren't doing anything? If OPs DD asked what are you doing to day Daddy - he likely just answered the question. He can't lie about his life. That is part of divorce - the kids learn that the parents lives go on when they aren't with them. It seems like Ops DD gets quite a bit of time with dad (if gf's claims are true that they spend half the month with him). It also doesn't mean he doesn't want his child along by following the custody order. I doubt OP invites her kids to everything she is doing on the weekends the kids are with dad - and it isn't because she doesn't want them along - it is how visitation and custody work.

In this case dad messed up by inviting her without checking first. He should have just told her this was Mommy's weekend and he would see her x and they could plan a museum day soon. Once he invited her he should have stuck with it and not gone back on his word. GF was in the wrong in her attitude.

Don't agree with you though that dad was bragging and is an ass for not taking his kids on non custody weekends.

Anonymous
Post 08/11/2013 21:37     Subject: Re:what to expect of ExDh
Anonymous wrote:I just think your DD needs to learn that she can't just invite herself on outings. If they had wanted her to come, they would've asked her to come.


Not OP, but why not? It's her Dad.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2013 21:25     Subject: Re:what to expect of ExDh
I just think your DD needs to learn that she can't just invite herself on outings. If they had wanted her to come, they would've asked her to come.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2013 21:14     Subject: Re:what to expect of ExDh
Op here. Appreciate the feedback. As far as my DD "inviting herself" I guess I just feel that our DD has the right to ask her father if she can tag along. She would know not to invite herself to a friends outing but she doesn't have those boundaries with her own parent and I think thats the way it should be? If the situation was reversed I would be glad to have my SO's kid (s) come along, it was already a kid friendly outing, I might feel differently if she asked to come along on a day where it was kid free. I asked ExDh at drop off if he felt I was out of line and he said no and apologized for the phone call, saying that Girlfriend was overwhelmed with the prospect of taking 3 kids out but the day went fine. I have to admit in my head I was like "well sister I got 2 more kids that are bound to tag along from time to time so get use it it" BUT i kept my mouth shut! Thanks for the different perspectives
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2013 19:01     Subject: what to expect of ExDh
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your ex tried to get out of it gracefully, and you pushed it.



I agree. Your DD asked to go when she wasn't invited. Your ex kind of balked and that's when I would've told DD that it probably isn't the best idea. The new GF really had no say in the matter so I can understand why she was upset. Next time, teach your DD not to invite herself and all will be fine.


GF, is that you?
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2013 18:36     Subject: what to expect of ExDh
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your ex tried to get out of it gracefully, and you pushed it.



I agree. Your DD asked to go when she wasn't invited. Your ex kind of balked and that's when I would've told DD that it probably isn't the best idea. The new GF really had no say in the matter so I can understand why she was upset. Next time, teach your DD not to invite herself and all will be fine.


How about instead of that...next time, her ex-husband doesn't brag to his own kid about excursions he's taking with other kids--especially, when he's ass enough not to want his own kid to come along.


This. None of this is the kid's fault. Sheesh.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2013 18:03     Subject: what to expect of ExDh
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your ex tried to get out of it gracefully, and you pushed it.



I agree. Your DD asked to go when she wasn't invited. Your ex kind of balked and that's when I would've told DD that it probably isn't the best idea. The new GF really had no say in the matter so I can understand why she was upset. Next time, teach your DD not to invite herself and all will be fine.


I think it is totally acceptable for a daughter to ask her DAD if she can come along to something. You aren't supposed to invite yourself along if it is a friend or aquaintence, but your own father? It's fine to ask!
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2013 17:58     Subject: what to expect of ExDh
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your ex tried to get out of it gracefully, and you pushed it.



I agree. Your DD asked to go when she wasn't invited. Your ex kind of balked and that's when I would've told DD that it probably isn't the best idea. The new GF really had no say in the matter so I can understand why she was upset. Next time, teach your DD not to invite herself and all will be fine.


How about instead of that...next time, her ex-husband doesn't brag to his own kid about excursions he's taking with other kids--especially, when he's ass enough not to want his own kid to come along.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2013 17:53     Subject: what to expect of ExDh
Anonymous wrote:Your ex tried to get out of it gracefully, and you pushed it.



I agree. Your DD asked to go when she wasn't invited. Your ex kind of balked and that's when I would've told DD that it probably isn't the best idea. The new GF really had no say in the matter so I can understand why she was upset. Next time, teach your DD not to invite herself and all will be fine.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2013 17:21     Subject: what to expect of ExDh
I'm a step mom and think what you said was perfect. The girlfriend is way, way out of line with the "half the month" crap. Kids and their relationships with their parents come first. And if she's got her own kids, I don't understand why she doesn't already get that.

Sounds like your ex DH wussed out when he couldn't uninvite his daughter at new girlfriend's request, and possibly blamed it on you?