Anonymous
Post 08/11/2013 20:49     Subject: well paying jobs
I have a SN child, and I had to stay home with her. DH was not able to handle all the responsibilities of a SN child. It's a full time job that requires everything you have in you to handle. Some people are not cut out for staying home with a SN child.

Sorry for all the awful remarks on this thread, OP. There are lots of trolls on DCUM.

I do agree that you need to sit down with your DH and figure out a compromise for him. $50K is nothing for the type of work he does. He needs to ask for more money, or pull his resume together, leaving off his music experience, and find a better job with benefits.

Can he stay home with your child? Can you move to an area with a lower COL? Can you move to an area where you have a relative who can help you with your SN child so you can go back to work?

Your DH should re-evaluate teaching. Why did he decide it wasn't for him? Maybe he could teach in a private school. There are lots of them around here, and the environment can be much better than a public school, especially in DC. The pay is not great, but there are benefits, and it likely pays better than $50K. He should also give private lessons evenings/weekends to augment your income.

If he really wants to play in an orchestra, he needs to focus on that. Move back home, build a nest egg, practice like crazy and get that dream job. I know several people who play in professional orchestras. The money is not great, but the satisfaction is. All of them teach on the side, and have spouses who work.
Anonymous
Post 08/10/2013 11:58     Subject: Re:well paying jobs
Why isn't he at home and you continue teaching especially since you had benefits? Plus, since he was a music major, he could do private lessons in the evening when you are at home. So, no need for daycare.
Anonymous
Post 08/10/2013 11:49     Subject: well paying jobs
Anonymous wrote:DH has a music degree...which has been pretty useless at this point. He's worked odd office jobs and at age 32 works his tail off doing webinars for a software company making under 50k with no benefits. He works HARD, usually not even taking a lunch break, works when he wakes up, into evening hours, on weekends, etc. I'm a teacher, so not huge income for me either, but we now have a baby with special needs that cannot go to daycare so now I'm staying home.
It makes me sick (and jealous!) to see the HHIs well over 100k and feel so frustrated that DH works so hard for so little. He's applied before to fed jobs, but doesn't have the skill set they're usually looking for. Help! What job can he look for that will take him entry level for a more liveable salary for this area?


I have a couple of thoughts.

First, given your relative skill sets and earning potential, it might make more sense for you to work FT and your DH to stay home to care for your child.

Second, get the hell out of Dodge. The COL here is astronomical and you both have relatively low earning potential. As a teacher you will likely have great job security and working conditions and life balance, but not great earnings. Your DH is 32 and making peanuts. Neither of you have specialized skills that tie you to this area. Move somewhere where your dollars stretch further.

Third, your DH should swallow hard and start teaching. Private lessons are where his money is, especially if you are wedded to this area.

What he should do is stay home with your child while you teach 8-4, then give lessons from 4-7 while you care for DC and make dinner. Win-win.
Anonymous
Post 08/10/2013 11:39     Subject: well paying jobs
NP here... I'm trying to figure out the "can't put my kids in daycare" angle because they are "special needs"

When I toured daycares back in the day, I saw several kids who were handicapped being taken care of in a nice environment with other kids to play with, etc...

Granted they were infants not toddlers so if your kids are at the age where you are schlepping them to therapies disregard my earlier comment.

One other thought -- are you angry at your spouse for not being able to provide like you thought when you got married? Maybe couples therapy would be in order to help you work through the frustration of kids, work, and your relationship.
Anonymous
Post 08/10/2013 11:20     Subject: well paying jobs
How about working at a law firm? If he can produce webinars he can probably do lots of stuff a law firm might need.
Anonymous
Post 08/10/2013 10:40     Subject: well paying jobs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I had a friend who played the triangle for the Coast Guard. Eventually he left it to become a lifeguard in Key West. All fine. until a Great White attacked a Russian babushka - he lost his own life rushing to save her.

No one could hear the little tinkle of the triangle over the roar of the waves.


You know, all you sarcastic and snarky people mocking OP are a bunch of useless jerks. Now, the reality is that her DH may neve be able to a career as a professional musician and for it to be profitable. I do have a few friends who have made it work. - one is a trombone player at Disney World and also a member of a touring jazz ensemble. The military offers another avenue, but getting into the best musical outfits there is tougher than getting into even the most selective college. So, DH tweeds to think how he could be more creative in udpding his skills - whether to teach or write about music. He may also need to fund some other way to make a living and pursue his musical avocationon the side, as did my friend who is still an active trumpet player after leaving the Marines - he was in the USMC Drum & Bugle Corps - and now with the State Department Diplomatic Security Service.

OP and her DH need to sit down and have a talk about what kind of life they want together and how they can achieve that. It does not look like they are asking too much or looking to have som extravagant lifestyle, but looking for a way to improve just a little their material position. Maybe they need to work with a counselor - couples for them and career for him.

FWIW, in my own experience, your college major may have very little to do with the career you find end up in. WhenI studied Political Science 20 years ago I never thought I would be working in international marketing. But here I am, and I did not go to law school or get an MBA. It can be done.

OP, ignore the jerks on this forum. Good luck to you.


That's why your degree is stupid.
Anonymous
Post 08/10/2013 10:30     Subject: well paying jobs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is not about working hard, it is about working smart. I just made $200 for 20 minutes worth of work. All I had to do was write a few emails. Do you know how many times I am going to lather, rinse, and repeat?

Stop whining and get out there and make some money. Plenty of people have it to spend. Make yourself useful to them.


What did you do for 20 minutes to get $200?


Craig's list
Anonymous
Post 08/10/2013 10:13     Subject: well paying jobs
Anonymous wrote:How about joining the military as a musician? I have two friends who did this? Steady work. Both were very good musicians, but eventually learned not good enough to make it as a symphonic player.

One eventually left the Army and changed careers going into law enforcement.


I just saw an advertisement for this job (granted, it was in Puerto Rico, but maybe there are also some elsewhere too). I never even thought of this, but it could be awesome for a musician.

High paying jobs in the performance world are rare, so a career change is probably in order. If your DH wants high income without additional training, sales is probably the only way. It's definitely not for everyone, though. If that doesn't work for him, I would advise him to think about a low-cost degree. Maybe a two year degree -- nursing or something in the health care industry? GL.

BTW, most people who post on here with the HHI over $100K are in sales or have advanced professional degrees.
Anonymous
Post 08/10/2013 09:46     Subject: well paying jobs
Anonymous wrote:It is not about working hard, it is about working smart. I just made $200 for 20 minutes worth of work. All I had to do was write a few emails. Do you know how many times I am going to lather, rinse, and repeat?

Stop whining and get out there and make some money. Plenty of people have it to spend. Make yourself useful to them.


What did you do for 20 minutes to get $200?
Anonymous
Post 08/10/2013 05:19     Subject: well paying jobs
Anonymous wrote:I had a friend who played the triangle for the Coast Guard. Eventually he left it to become a lifeguard in Key West. All fine. until a Great White attacked a Russian babushka - he lost his own life rushing to save her.

No one could hear the little tinkle of the triangle over the roar of the waves.


You know, all you sarcastic and snarky people mocking OP are a bunch of useless jerks. Now, the reality is that her DH may neve be able to a career as a professional musician and for it to be profitable. I do have a few friends who have made it work. - one is a trombone player at Disney World and also a member of a touring jazz ensemble. The military offers another avenue, but getting into the best musical outfits there is tougher than getting into even the most selective college. So, DH tweeds to think how he could be more creative in udpding his skills - whether to teach or write about music. He may also need to fund some other way to make a living and pursue his musical avocationon the side, as did my friend who is still an active trumpet player after leaving the Marines - he was in the USMC Drum & Bugle Corps - and now with the State Department Diplomatic Security Service.

OP and her DH need to sit down and have a talk about what kind of life they want together and how they can achieve that. It does not look like they are asking too much or looking to have som extravagant lifestyle, but looking for a way to improve just a little their material position. Maybe they need to work with a counselor - couples for them and career for him.

FWIW, in my own experience, your college major may have very little to do with the career you find end up in. WhenI studied Political Science 20 years ago I never thought I would be working in international marketing. But here I am, and I did not go to law school or get an MBA. It can be done.

OP, ignore the jerks on this forum. Good luck to you.
Anonymous
Post 08/10/2013 04:43     Subject: well paying jobs
Anonymous wrote:It is not about working hard, it is about working smart. I just made $200 for 20 minutes worth of work. All I had to do was write a few emails. Do you know how many times I am going to lather, rinse, and repeat?

Stop whining and get out there and make some money. Plenty of people have it to spend. Make yourself useful to them.


Yes, but did you have a lot of money before you made this deal? Or own a lot of something? How did you start with your first deal?
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2013 23:40     Subject: well paying jobs
How about him being a music tutor. They make good money and he could do this in your home or their home.
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2013 21:38     Subject: well paying jobs
private music tuition may be the way forward. You can charge $40 for half an hour.
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2013 21:38     Subject: well paying jobs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is not about working hard, it is about working smart. I just made $200 for 20 minutes worth of work. All I had to do was write a few emails. Do you know how many times I am going to lather, rinse, and repeat?

Stop whining and get out there and make some money. Plenty of people have it to spend. Make yourself useful to them.



This is dumb advice.


People with a low net worth should not address me.

Know your place.
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2013 21:32     Subject: well paying jobs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Music teacher at DCPS, a charter or Levine?


Nope, he went through ed training and decided he doesn't want to teach. He actually did everything except student teach and take the teaching tests and then decided it wasn't for him. Ideally wants to just be in a symphony (has performance degree) but not enough time to practice to win a job.


Now that you have a baby with special needs, could he reconsider? Being a teacher at DCPS could provide the flexibility and benefits, as well as a network to help guide you both through the special education process, which can get started before PS 3 if your baby qualifies.