*lying to you if

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he is lying because when I told him that he didn't tell me, he completely lashed out and flipped out. Out of nowhere. I don't think he would be so quick to go on the offensive if it was an honest mistake.

Plus he has a history of lying w/this guy.

And that's because you are being a shrew about it. This isn't about him lying. This is about how fucking out of line you are and have been. You ARE trying to control his movements and his associations, and it is despicable.

Holy cow. Calm down! NP here, and I don't think OP was out of line at all. I remember having a hard time with DH going out to a movie once with his brother when DC was tiny, simply because I was so overwhelmed and felt like I just needed some help from DH. I wasn't angry, and I certainly understood that he needed some time "off", just frustrated because I wasn't getting any time "off" myself. But if he had been going out for social reasons frequently, leaving me home to care for OUR baby alone over and over again, I would have been upset and would have told him so. And then if he kept doing it and lied about it? The shit would have hit.the.fan. OP's husband is CLEARLY the one who was out of line.

But this isn't about you, is it?

Let's review the facts here. She doesn't have a baby. She's already said this. What she does have is a history of giving her husband grief over socializing with a particular friend. She undoubtedly badmouths this friend, criticizes her husband for seeing him, and generally throws a fit when it happens. Husband has learned that it's simply not worth engaging his wife over this friend, but he also resents her efforts to control who he socializes with so he continues to make plans with the guy and neglect to tell her, so why incur her wrath?

I find it funny that you state your intent to "review the facts", then use words like "undoubtedly" to emphasize your pure conjecture. Here are some actual facts:

1) OP had a newborn when her husband was going out frequently with this friend.

2) On AT LEAST one occasion during this time, he lied to her about it, telling her he was working late, and got caught.

Really, based on those two facts alone, how could you possibly think the OP here is the one who was of line in the past? Or are you truly ok with your spouse lying to your spouse thinks he/she has been treated unfairly?

Anonymous wrote:

dmvwordsmith wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he is lying because when I told him that he didn't tell me, he completely lashed out and flipped out. Out of nowhere. I don't think he would be so quick to go on the offensive if it was an honest mistake.

Plus he has a history of lying w/this guy.

And that's because you are being a shrew about it. This isn't about him lying. This is about how fucking out of line you are and have been. You ARE trying to control his movements and his associations, and it is despicable.

LOL this has got to be the DH.

Even if it is, doesn't mean he's not fucking right. Some wives need to back the hell off. When you try to control a man, he just gets wilder. Show him you trust him, expect alot of him and he'll rise to the occasion. Treat him like a boy you'll get him acting like one.

Can we get rid of this scourge of MRAs around here?

Moving on ... It sounds like this incident is triggering your residual anger at how DH acted a few months ago. Let him go out, then have an honest conversation about how you can move forward. Don't focus on whether he told you about his plans or not - that isn't the main point.

MRAs?

Anonymous wrote:Why are you certain he is lying? I totally believe you that he didn't tell you, but the other option is that he genuinely thought he did tell you. My DH does this all the time. He thinks he has told me something that he hasn't. People make mistakes. It's not always a conspiracy.

I agree!

You have waay too much time on your hands if you are letting this ruin your day and need to post on DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he is lying because when I told him that he didn't tell me, he completely lashed out and flipped out. Out of nowhere. I don't think he would be so quick to go on the offensive if it was an honest mistake.

Plus he has a history of lying w/this guy.

And that's because you are being a shrew about it. This isn't about him lying. This is about how fucking out of line you are and have been. You ARE trying to control his movements and his associations, and it is despicable.

Holy cow. Calm down! NP here, and I don't think OP was out of line at all. I remember having a hard time with DH going out to a movie once with his brother when DC was tiny, simply because I was so overwhelmed and felt like I just needed some help from DH. I wasn't angry, and I certainly understood that he needed some time "off", just frustrated because I wasn't getting any time "off" myself. But if he had been going out for social reasons frequently, leaving me home to care for OUR baby alone over and over again, I would have been upset and would have told him so. And then if he kept doing it and lied about it? The shit would have hit.the.fan. OP's husband is CLEARLY the one who was out of line.

But this isn't about you, is it?

Let's review the facts here. She doesn't have a baby. She's already said this. What she does have is a history of giving her husband grief over socializing with a particular friend. She undoubtedly badmouths this friend, criticizes her husband for seeing him, and generally throws a fit when it happens. Husband has learned that it's simply not worth engaging his wife over this friend, but he also resents her efforts to control who he socializes with so he continues to make plans with the guy and neglect to tell her, so why incur her wrath?

Wow. not the pp you are talking to but, project much?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he is lying because when I told him that he didn't tell me, he completely lashed out and flipped out. Out of nowhere. I don't think he would be so quick to go on the offensive if it was an honest mistake.

Plus he has a history of lying w/this guy.

And that's because you are being a shrew about it. This isn't about him lying. This is about how fucking out of line you are and have been. You ARE trying to control his movements and his associations, and it is despicable.

Holy cow. Calm down! NP here, and I don't think OP was out of line at all. I remember having a hard time with DH going out to a movie once with his brother when DC was tiny, simply because I was so overwhelmed and felt like I just needed some help from DH. I wasn't angry, and I certainly understood that he needed some time "off", just frustrated because I wasn't getting any time "off" myself. But if he had been going out for social reasons frequently, leaving me home to care for OUR baby alone over and over again, I would have been upset and would have told him so. And then if he kept doing it and lied about it? The shit would have hit.the.fan. OP's husband is CLEARLY the one who was out of line.

But this isn't about you, is it?

Let's review the facts here. She doesn't have a baby. She's already said this. What she does have is a history of giving her husband grief over socializing with a particular friend. She undoubtedly badmouths this friend, criticizes her husband for seeing him, and generally throws a fit when it happens. Husband has learned that it's simply not worth engaging his wife over this friend, but he also resents her efforts to control who he socializes with so he continues to make plans with the guy and neglect to tell her, so why incur her wrath?

dmvwordsmith wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he is lying because when I told him that he didn't tell me, he completely lashed out and flipped out. Out of nowhere. I don't think he would be so quick to go on the offensive if it was an honest mistake.

Plus he has a history of lying w/this guy.

And that's because you are being a shrew about it. This isn't about him lying. This is about how fucking out of line you are and have been. You ARE trying to control his movements and his associations, and it is despicable.

LOL this has got to be the DH.

Even if it is, doesn't mean he's not fucking right. Some wives need to back the hell off. When you try to control a man, he just gets wilder. Show him you trust him, expect alot of him and he'll rise to the occasion. Treat him like a boy you'll get him acting like one.

Can we get rid of this scourge of MRAs around here?

Moving on ... It sounds like this incident is triggering your residual anger at how DH acted a few months ago. Let him go out, then have an honest conversation about how you can move forward. Don't focus on whether he told you about his plans or not - that isn't the main point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he is lying because when I told him that he didn't tell me, he completely lashed out and flipped out. Out of nowhere. I don't think he would be so quick to go on the offensive if it was an honest mistake.

Plus he has a history of lying w/this guy.

And that's because you are being a shrew about it. This isn't about him lying. This is about how fucking out of line you are and have been. You ARE trying to control his movements and his associations, and it is despicable.

LOL this has got to be the DH.

Even if it is, doesn't mean he's not fucking right. Some wives need to back the hell off. When you try to control a man, he just gets wilder. Show him you trust him, expect alot of him and he'll rise to the occasion. Treat him like a boy you'll get him acting like one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he is lying because when I told him that he didn't tell me, he completely lashed out and flipped out. Out of nowhere. I don't think he would be so quick to go on the offensive if it was an honest mistake.

Plus he has a history of lying w/this guy.

And that's because you are being a shrew about it. This isn't about him lying. This is about how fucking out of line you are and have been. You ARE trying to control his movements and his associations, and it is despicable.

LOL this has got to be the DH.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he is lying because when I told him that he didn't tell me, he completely lashed out and flipped out. Out of nowhere. I don't think he would be so quick to go on the offensive if it was an honest mistake.

Plus he has a history of lying w/this guy.

And that's because you are being a shrew about it. This isn't about him lying. This is about how fucking out of line you are and have been. You ARE trying to control his movements and his associations, and it is despicable.

You are NUTS. - new poster

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he is lying because when I told him that he didn't tell me, he completely lashed out and flipped out. Out of nowhere. I don't think he would be so quick to go on the offensive if it was an honest mistake.

Plus he has a history of lying w/this guy.

And that's because you are being a shrew about it. This isn't about him lying. This is about how fucking out of line you are and have been. You ARE trying to control his movements and his associations, and it is despicable.

Holy cow. Calm down! NP here, and I don't think OP was out of line at all. I remember having a hard time with DH going out to a movie once with his brother when DC was tiny, simply because I was so overwhelmed and felt like I just needed some help from DH. I wasn't angry, and I certainly understood that he needed some time "off", just frustrated because I wasn't getting any time "off" myself. But if he had been going out for social reasons frequently, leaving me home to care for OUR baby alone over and over again, I would have been upset and would have told him so. And then if he kept doing it and lied about it? The shit would have hit.the.fan. OP's husband is CLEARLY the one who was out of line.

Anonymous wrote:I think he is lying because when I told him that he didn't tell me, he completely lashed out and flipped out. Out of nowhere. I don't think he would be so quick to go on the offensive if it was an honest mistake.

Plus he has a history of lying w/this guy.

This is the pp who asked why you think he's lying, not the nasty pp who also posted in response to your response.

It's possible that the anger is about something else. Maybe he really, really thinks he told you and he's as frustrated with you for not believing him as you are with him for not telling you. Or, maybe there is something else going on for him - stress at work, whatever. I don't think the history is necessarily predictive. From what you said about what was going on for you guys when that lying happened, you were both struggling to deal with a big change in your life. (New babies are hard for both parents!) He might have been freaking out and looking for an escape back then. It doesn't sound like that's where you are now.

If I were you, I'd try to cool it down and then, when you are both in a better place, talk about it. Show understanding. Try to see it from his perspective. He'll be more open to seeing your side if you show him you want to see his and that you're not looking for blame or condemnation.

you can always say "DH, wait don't you remember I am going out with Larla and Mary Jane Rotten Crotch? I need you home at 6pm." - turn it around.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he is lying because when I told him that he didn't tell me, he completely lashed out and flipped out. Out of nowhere. I don't think he would be so quick to go on the offensive if it was an honest mistake.

Plus he has a history of lying w/this guy.

And that's because you are being a shrew about it. This isn't about him lying. This is about how fucking out of line you are and have been. You ARE trying to control his movements and his associations, and it is despicable.

You are not making any sense. I have no idea why you are trying to turn this around on me - maybe you are my DH posting? I mean this does not even make sense.