The children do need to learn to say "No, thank you" instead of asking for something more expensive. How embarrassing would this be if the person offering an ice cream cone weren't Grandma, but someone outside the family?

OP, I understand the gripe. I really do. But from the grass is greener camp, thank goodness you're not saddled with one of those grandparents who wastes her money on crap you children don't need while not saving anything for her own old age, making it very clear that one day she'll be your financial problem. That is my world.

op didn't respond to the questions about how fixed grandmas income is. chances are she does need to penny pinch, since she is old

Anonymous wrote:Wow! Lots of innacurate assumptions here. Won't post again. Thanks for your time to respond however. Lets try and support one another instead of tearing down. Life is too short. Thanks to friendly posters. For what it's worth, we did tell grandma before going that kids didn't care for ice cream but she just couldn't hear it. I also know that smoothies are full of sugar. Lastly, my kids are sweethearts who earn their own money and donate to help others. Signing off.

You have multiple children and none of them like ice cream?
She asked to take the kids out for ice cream and you agreed knowing your kids didn't like and wouldn't eat ice cream?
Most kids who get everything they want are sweethearts to their parents. What would they get upset about? They ask - they get it. It is when you say no, set limits, have expectations, refuse requests that you see the real child you are raising.

And you came on here to tear down your mom for not spending more of her money on your kids. Then you complain when people disagree with you?

Many Grandmas would have given into the kids' requests and just bought the smoothies. It seems like a such a small matter, but just think about what that teaches to your children. It's good that Grandma stood her ground OP - that was a good lesson for your kids to learn. I hope you reinforce it.

Must have thick skin to post on DCUM, OP. And PPs didn't even start on you!

I take exception to the fact that you are criticizing your mother for being frugal, and giving an example that is not indicative of any pathology. Would you rather have the opposite???

I suspect that in your comparative wealth you cannot fathom how an individual could count pennies. Well, I do. After surviving 18 months of unemployment and paying for therapies for my SN child and retirement, I have nothing left at the end of each month. No eating out. Absolutely no impulse spending. Every purchase is researched and budgeted. My children know that food and mortgage comes before toys in the budget.

I am not surprised that your mother would carry over such practices into a period of her life when she may be more financially secure. You should adapt to her, not the other way around. And teach your children how to budget.

Anonymous wrote:Wow! Lots of innacurate assumptions here. Won't post again. Thanks for your time to respond however. Lets try and support one another instead of tearing down. Life is too short. Thanks to friendly posters. For what it's worth, we did tell grandma before going that kids didn't care for ice cream but she just couldn't hear it. I also know that smoothies are full of sugar. Lastly, my kids are sweethearts who earn their own money and donate to help others. Signing off.

We only went with what you told us. And your kids churlishly "thanking" grandma makes them bratty regardless of whether they donate money at other times. You have to be polite and gracious even at times you don't choose. If they really dont like ice cream, you say "sorry, don't feel like it today".

You know your mom. Why are you setting both her and your kids up to fail?

The grandparents money belongs to the grandparents - to spend (or not spend) as they see fit.

We have a very cheap grandparents. I say cheap because they have money but just: (a) don't want to enjoy it, (b) would rather leave it as inheritance as that's the Old Country way, and (c) because they are soooo cheap about travel, dinners out, groceries, gifts, hotels they successfully convince everyone else to pay for them. All. The. Time.
After a few attempted vacations, visits, and outings, now they just come over, sit around our house eating everything and watching TV and then leave. At least no ones being taken advantage of that way.

OP - If I offer to buy a friend a $3.00 beer at the bar, I mean that I'll buy them a beer - not an $8.00 mixed drink. Maybe I only have $10 in my pocket and I would like to have a beer, too. KWIM?

Rude kids

Wow! Lots of innacurate assumptions here. Won't post again. Thanks for your time to respond however. Lets try and support one another instead of tearing down. Life is too short. Thanks to friendly posters. For what it's worth, we did tell grandma before going that kids didn't care for ice cream but she just couldn't hear it. I also know that smoothies are full of sugar. Lastly, my kids are sweethearts who earn their own money and donate to help others. Signing off.

You do not have a cheap grandmother problem. You have a rude children problem.

I suppose for the same amount of money she could have bought just one smoothie for her very favorite grandchild to enjoy. The others could have had water..

Would that have been better?

She was trying to do something nice for the kids.
It's actually pretty expensive to take out three or four people for real ice cream. Tends to cost at least several dollars a cone. There's nothing wrong with eating McDonald's ice cream once I a blue moon.
She's on a fixed budget. Give her a break