My dear OP,

from what you describe, you have not experienced real moochers. Your sister (in law?) seems to behave within the normal range. Not everyone has a perfect career path or perfect mental strength to see it all through. It does not mean she will never have a job again and that she will be reduced to ask you for money. Don't feel embarrassed, either - the majority of people in this economy are hurting. My DH was unemployed for 18 months, for example. Lawyers are a dime a dozen, these days.

You need perspective. Stop being so immature. Realize everyone has to find their own path.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You lost me when you placed sarcasm quotes around the word 'stress.' Do you have any idea how brutal biglaw can be?

Oh boo hoo, I'm tired of the woe is me lawyers on this forum. "WAAAH! I'm a lawyer and I only make $150,000! WAAAH! It will take me 7 years to make partner and rake in my $1M."

You realize in most other fields, a lateral hire will result in lower pay? Only in law do you guys feel entitled to similar pay when you jump ship to another firm.

While I have no great love or sympathy for BigLaw slaves, sentiments like these above are often expressed by people who couldn't cut it in another field. Based on my conversations with the 3 doctors in my family your assumption couldn't be more wrong, they have all dealt with relatively inexperienced and entitled young MD's who have the same feeling. I think your stereotype is weak, to say the least.

I'm with 20:41. it's possible that the decision to quit wasn't totally hers. Big law firm life can be brutal - she may have not realized what she was getting into at the time. She might also be depressed, or she might be looking for jobs all the time and nothing has come up.

People who have always been employed don't always realize that it is tough out there right now. I got laid off in late 2007, just as the economy was going downhill, and it took me 6 mos to find a job. And I had a great background in terms of experience and education. I got really discouraged. And you can't just take *any* job - many employers won't hire overqualified people, and if you take a much lower-salary job, good luck ever getting back to your original level. you can stagnate for a long time if that happens.

Anonymous wrote:Op, unemployed lawyer here. It is entirely possible that she was pushed out of her job, given the current market, and just doesn't was to admit it. It's also possible she is depressed about the situation but doesn't want to be whiny about it so is putting up a good front. The legal market sucks right now. I think you should withhold judgment.

Exactly. I wouldn't count on the truthfulness of the narrative she's sharing with people. More likely it's a face-saving story. If you care about her, OP, be kind and supportive of her - reach out to her with phone calls, not just emails & texts.

I was expecting a total ne'er do well. She graduated law school, passed the bar, and had done well enough that she landed a good job. So she's taking a break now - so what? Your concern that she will mooch off you later on seems unfounded and extremely premature.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Op, unemployed lawyer here. It is entirely possible that she was pushed out of her job, given the current market, and just doesn't was to admit it. It's also possible she is depressed about the situation but doesn't want to be whiny about it so is putting up a good front. The legal market sucks right now. I think you should withhold judgment.

+1

Plus one. How do you know if she is applying for jobs or not?
Plus, she saved money at her job post college and from her law firm. She went thru three years of law school, passed th bear, and spent several years in big law. Doesn't sound like a slacker to me

+1. And you don't know how brutal big law can be unless you have been there. I managed to stay for three years but nearly killed myself doing it. I rarely got home before 11 at night, pulled all nighters on a weekly basis and worked almost every weekend. Fortunately I found another job but I often considered leaving before finding one to save my sanity and physical health. OP, don't be so judgmental.

I am not the PP but this thread is not about you. Yes... most people think you Big Law is stressful people are a bunch a big babies. So many professions have worse hours, worse working conditions and not even close to the same pay. Stop sounding like an entitled brat! Collect trash, nurse the ill, go to war .... then come back and tell me how "stressful" your law job was.

I get you did not like it, and you are wealthy so you got to just "got out" ... lucky you. Grow up.

This is what happens when parents spoil their chidlren passed adulthood. She hasn't learned and likely never will. I can guarantee that if she had paid for law school herself or had taken out loans like the rest of us, and also had to pay for her home like the rest of us - things would be mch different.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB. I doubt she will ever try to mooch off of you and your dh. You sound jealous.

+1

-1

Jealous? I didn't get that from this post at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Are you people serious? I'm not jealous. I care about my sister, but also is looking out for my own family so this doesn't become a problem in the future.

It's hard to MYOB when it's family.

You have waay too much time on your hands.

NP. Agreed, you sound like a busybody making a lot of assumptions. A lot of older siblings have trouble leaving their younger siblings be. If she's not actively asking you for stuff or help, don't assume she needs or wants it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sister in law is in the title. I think this is your dh sister, not yours.

I was wondering the same thing.

The sister's career field is law, hence "sister, in law". I'm sure OP knows the difference between her husband's siblings and her own.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Op, unemployed lawyer here. It is entirely possible that she was pushed out of her job, given the current market, and just doesn't was to admit it. It's also possible she is depressed about the situation but doesn't want to be whiny about it so is putting up a good front. The legal market sucks right now. I think you should withhold judgment.

+1

Plus one. How do you know if she is applying for jobs or not?
Plus, she saved money at her job post college and from her law firm. She went thru three years of law school, passed th bear, and spent several years in big law. Doesn't sound like a slacker to me

+1. And you don't know how brutal big law can be unless you have been there. I managed to stay for three years but nearly killed myself doing it. I rarely got home before 11 at night, pulled all nighters on a weekly basis and worked almost every weekend. Fortunately I found another job but I often considered leaving before finding one to save my sanity and physical health. OP, don't be so judgmental.

Anonymous wrote:Sister in law is in the title. I think this is your dh sister, not yours.

I was wondering the same thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Op, unemployed lawyer here. It is entirely possible that she was pushed out of her job, given the current market, and just doesn't was to admit it. It's also possible she is depressed about the situation but doesn't want to be whiny about it so is putting up a good front. The legal market sucks right now. I think you should withhold judgment.

+1

Plus one. How do you know if she is applying for jobs or not?
Plus, she saved money at her job post college and from her law firm. She went thru three years of law school, passed th bear, and spent several years in big law. Doesn't sound like a slacker to me

Sister in law is in the title. I think this is your dh sister, not yours.

Don't worry about it. If she asks you for money, say "Sorry - go fire up your degrees and go get a job."

It's not your job to teach her to be an adult. It's her job to just do it herself, like the majority of us have.