Our PITI is 17% of net income but we are also paying 29% of net for two kids in daycare. We purposely bought a lot less than we "afford" since we knew daycare was going to be expensive.

We are about 21% of net. $8K net per month on $210K income. We put a ton in the 401K's. We bought a long time ago (2001) but our taxes are crazy (half our mortgage). We also have crazy childcare costs (private school/part time nanny).

There are so many factors to consider when buying a house that it is hard to judge based on others' numbers. One thing I would say, is that 13 years in, I have mortgage fatigue and wish it was paid off. We are paying extra so worst case right now with the extra payments we've made is that we will have the house paid off in 20 years.

Our HHI is $220k. Mortgage and taxes are $3200 a month. No debt, but we have child care expenses. You should do what makes you feel comfortable. When I bought a condo years ago, I qualified for much more than I bought, and my family pressured me to buy something bigger. But I bought what I was comfortable with. I also agree there are costs with a house, we always have something, the yard, now the fence.

We are at about 26% of net. That plus childcare expenses (2), plus everything else, and there's not a ton left over each month.