Anonymous wrote:Seriously, I feel sorry for all the bitter angry and mean DIL on DCUM, one day you too may be a MIL. Think of how you treat others, karma is a bitch.

When I am a MIL, I hope I take my meds. That's what I've learned from all this. STAY ON YOUR MEDS.

Let go of all this hate. It's going to give you wrinkles.

You people here are snots.

BTW, my ex DIL is a Senator's daughter. Her mother was a Senator's daughter. White trash with money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two DILs. I don't call them or go near them unless I'm invited. I'm afraid they'll say mean nasty things about me.

I don't buy my grand kids anything without the mother's approval either because I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I feel I always need their approval.

When my oldest got married, I gave my DIL my mother's beautiful china because I never used it and she said she liked it. That bitch tried to sell it on Ebay. I got my friend to buy it for me. Stupid witch to this day doesn't know I got it back. I was going to tell her after my son divorced her but I've decided to wait and give the china to my grand daughter, HER DAUGHTER, when she gets married. LMAO !!!!!!! All I ask is that God grant me the day I can see that monster's face when my baby opens that box !!!

Charming family.

YOUR baby, old lady?

I don't like my inlaws and they dont like me. When MiL gives a gift to my son i take it (or rather he does now) and says thank you very much. That is just how i was raised and it is what i want to teach my son. Besides, they are his grandparents and nothing good can come from living in conflict all the time.

Anonymous wrote:I have two DILs. I don't call them or go near them unless I'm invited. I'm afraid they'll say mean nasty things about me.

I don't buy my grand kids anything without the mother's approval either because I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I feel I always need their approval.

When my oldest got married, I gave my DIL my mother's beautiful china because I never used it and she said she liked it. That bitch tried to sell it on Ebay. I got my friend to buy it for me. Stupid witch to this day doesn't know I got it back. I was going to tell her after my son divorced her but I've decided to wait and give the china to my grand daughter, HER DAUGHTER, when she gets married. LMAO !!!!!!! All I ask is that God grant me the day I can see that monster's face when my baby opens that box !!!

Charming family.

I have two DILs. I don't call them or go near them unless I'm invited. I'm afraid they'll say mean nasty things about me.

I don't buy my grand kids anything without the mother's approval either because I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I feel I always need their approval.

When my oldest got married, I gave my DIL my mother's beautiful china because I never used it and she said she liked it. That bitch tried to sell it on Ebay. I got my friend to buy it for me. Stupid witch to this day doesn't know I got it back. I was going to tell her after my son divorced her but I've decided to wait and give the china to my grand daughter, HER DAUGHTER, when she gets married. LMAO !!!!!!! All I ask is that God grant me the day I can see that monster's face when my baby opens that box !!!

Anonymous wrote:I dont like my MIL at all but I must say you have to pick your battles. Refusing baby clothes seems obnoxios even if you do not like or need them.

I would have just accepted and then donated them or something. This would not have been an issue worth making anything into.

Right. This woman must really hate her MIL. Probably a controlling MIL.

OP: Interesting observation. I am not a MIL but I can tell you that your parents generation is not going to be disrespected. They have choices in terms of how much time they want to spend with their Grandkids and how much $$ they want to spend. Snarky young parents beware....you were taught by the best.

Anonymous wrote:My MIL gets under my skin too, but she is my husband's mother. she raised him, cared for him, still loves him to pieces. To her, he is still her baby (not in a creepy way). When I had kids, esp after having a boy, I saw my MIL through different eyes. 30 years ago she had a new baby boy, one who gave her kisses and told her he loved her and held her hand, crawled in her lap for a story, gave random hugs. It must be hard to watch your son grow up and one day find another woman to place as #1. I know that is life, but it still might sting, just a teeny tiny bit. I came to a better understanding and appreciation for her, and our relationship has been so much better, with her not really doing anything new, but me being more open minded, more accepting, and more relaxed around her.

My MIL spoils my kids to no end, it is annoying a lot but in the end it isn't a battle worth fighting. I would take the clothes and graciously say thank you. I would make sure whenever my MIL was around the kid was wearing one of the outfits. I would just hand me down any leftovers, or save them in case another baby comes along. A lot of good will can come from having a good attitude, people feed off each other's energy. Try being a bit more understanding, can go a long way for everyone, even the DIL.

You're a really good person.

My MIL gets under my skin too, but she is my husband's mother. she raised him, cared for him, still loves him to pieces. To her, he is still her baby (not in a creepy way). When I had kids, esp after having a boy, I saw my MIL through different eyes. 30 years ago she had a new baby boy, one who gave her kisses and told her he loved her and held her hand, crawled in her lap for a story, gave random hugs. It must be hard to watch your son grow up and one day find another woman to place as #1. I know that is life, but it still might sting, just a teeny tiny bit. I came to a better understanding and appreciation for her, and our relationship has been so much better, with her not really doing anything new, but me being more open minded, more accepting, and more relaxed around her.

My MIL spoils my kids to no end, it is annoying a lot but in the end it isn't a battle worth fighting. I would take the clothes and graciously say thank you. I would make sure whenever my MIL was around the kid was wearing one of the outfits. I would just hand me down any leftovers, or save them in case another baby comes along. A lot of good will can come from having a good attitude, people feed off each other's energy. Try being a bit more understanding, can go a long way for everyone, even the DIL.

uhmm....send me the clothes please. Some of us don't have the luxury of being a pain in the ass about it. Any gift is welcomed in my house.

Seriously, I feel sorry for all the bitter angry and mean DIL on DCUM, one day you too may be a MIL. Think of how you treat others, karma is a bitch.

While there is a genuine wish on MIL's part to establish bond with a new baby and help out a young family, I think there are two things that create difficult MIL/DIL situations similar to this and others (unless the DIL is indeed a very difficult person to begin with and won't give MIL a chance):

1. MIL can't stop seeing her son as a little boy who still needs her thus the constant need to linger around son's new home/life the way she did when she dropped him off at kindergarten a few decades ago and stood by the doorway watching him play and secretly wishing he'd burst into tears and run over for one final hug goodbye.
2. Retirement and the need to have a purpose that can turn into a demand that children provide that purpose when MIL has no plans for how to spend retirement other than turning into an ever-present force in young family's life (see #1-- "of course my son will need me! And what nerve of that woman standing in my way, saying he doesn't???!!")

I think there are lots of older women-- and some men-- who simply don't know how to define themselves once the kids grow up and the day job is gone. It takes a lot of self-awareness, soul searching and effort, effort, effort to find a new life and purpose. I've heard of only a handful of situations where grandparents happily moved away from family to a warmer climate to start their retirement and find new interests and even new friends. Most seem to want to stay put but expect their kids to comply and stay put as well.

Hmm as annoyed as I am with my MIL I never refused a gift. Even these tacky hand woven items.