It is her house, but she also has a bedroom in her house.

We're talking about things in and out of my bedroom... things like hairbrushes, and kitchen shears. It's just odd.

As for the anger... I deal with it by coming here to vent, so I don't have to let it all out on my husband.

Thanks for listening!

OP, a couple of times you've mentioned "her room". Isn't it "her house"? If she takes things you leave around her house, just keep them in your room.

You do need to leave, but until you can, all the anger is really bad for you and for your family.

Your MIL is my mother.

When I had DD, she:

- Put all of DD's stuff in a pile and put it on top of the cat litter area (soiled everything with cat doodoo)
- She broke my breast pump (trying to "clean it - man that was hard to take apart. . .")
- She smoked out the entire condo from burning something in the oven - it was horrible food and the whole place stunk for days!!!!
- She shrunk/ruined a bunch of our clothes

I think some people are just really super not smart. But the poison ivy thing had me totally cracking up OMG. Did she put the gloves back in the sink for you to use or what?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you need to move, and have no right to complain (or be resentful) til you do.

Agree. She sounds pretty bad, but you made your bed.

OP here. MADE MY BED????? OMG! We simply fell on hard times and could have toughed it out where we lived (which was far away, in another state), but thought it would be a good idea to be closer to family. We planned to be in MIL's home for 2-3 months to "transition", our professional commitments fell through, and the rest is history. We're a bit stuck.

I DO NOT and WOULD NEVER expect anyone to cook and clean for me or my children. Its just that it would be nice for her to clean up after herself, not clean up after US.

The taking of and losing of my things is a regular occurrence. And if I dare say something like, "I really use that pretty regularly, so when you're done, would you mind putting it back?" All hell breaks loose. She stomps off like a pouting child and mumbles..... then treats my children like crap because she's annoyed with me.

Do we need to move? HELL YES. We are doing all we can to get the hell out. She probably wants her house back too... I can't imagine how difficult it must be to have an entire family move in to your peace and quiet. However, it also must be extremely difficult (said sarcastically) to come home each and every day to a hot meal and not lift a finger to help clean up, but rather sit back on the couch and flip channels and take naps. I'm not kidding. So please don't think I'm taking advantage of a poor helpless old lady. This woman is perfectly healthy, perfectly well and able and quite frankly, would be perfectly fine living in a filthy home whether we were here or not. She would let dishes pile up for days, would eat fast food regularly, and let dirty dishes collect in her room like an untrained college kid (which, she still does because I'm not cleaning her room).

So look: the bottom line is that if we were not related, I would not socialize with this woman. She probably would not socialize with me. And good. In the meantime, we're pulling all of our resources to leave and live a much happier stress free life with what I'm sure will be short visits with MIL. I'll be cooking and cleaning for those people who will help and.... all the while, they'll hopefully learn to be considerate of the very people they share a home with (and those outside too, of course). And if they aren't considerate... I'll get to tell them all about their unacceptable behavior because we'll be under our own roof... not someone else's.

Bottom line is, we're just different people with different priorities and different ways of life. Either way, she still gets on my f-ing nerves.

Thanks for the support from those of you who understand. It really does make a world of difference.

PPs are being to hard on OP. I bet losing the tape is one of many, many things that has gotten her into such a rage. 12:58 must be a nightmare MIL to say such mean things. OP is paying rent and ALL utilities. She cooks and cleans. How does that make her an entitled brat? More like MIL is taking advantage of a free house keeper who pays rent and utilities.

Get the hell out! Do you have a move out date OP? If not, you should establish one. It's hard not having an end in sight.

Anonymous wrote:
I dont care if it is her house. If I am paying rent and utilities, she is reaping a benefit. How dare you touch my shit, then lose it. Thats just rude, regardless of whose house it is.


I agree that is annoying, but she is old, and misplacing a roll of tape (which many people consider a household item) should not lead to your level of rage

Entitled brats...sometimes I wonder if some people will ever grow up...

Anonymous wrote:I dont care if it is her house. If I am paying rent and utilities, she is reaping a benefit. How dare you touch my shit, then lose it. Thats just rude, regardless of whose house it is.

I agree that is annoying, but she is old, and misplacing a roll of tape (which many people consider a household item) should not lead to your level of rage

I dont care if it is her house. If I am paying rent and utilities, she is reaping a benefit. How dare you touch my shit, then lose it. Thats just rude, regardless of whose house it is.

Good thing OP is anonymous. Complaining about your hostess gets you disinvited.

Anonymous wrote:OP--I imagine your MIL is complaining to her friends about what an ingrate and bitch she has for a DIL. Get your own place. Problem solved. Until then, grow up. She opened her home to you. Be grateful and deal with the situation you created.

Yeah, she opened her filthy home to people who pay rent and utilities. How selfless

Sorry, OP. hope the situation gets better soon. You sound like you're doing better than I would if I were living with my MIL.

OP--I imagine your MIL is complaining to her friends about what an ingrate and bitch she has for a DIL. Get your own place. Problem solved. Until then, grow up. She opened her home to you. Be grateful and deal with the situation you created.

She would like you to leave...

Curious why you expect her to cook and clean for you.

Anonymous wrote:you need to move, and have no right to complain (or be resentful) til you do.

Agree. She sounds pretty bad, but you made your bed.

Living with inlaws is no picnic.

If you are cleaning and mopping the floor I would suggest to buy the Hoover FloorMate SpinScrub Hard Floor Cleaner, if you can afford it.

It is also safer around the toddlers.