Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have worked PT in MBA Admissions consulting for a number of years, I've just ramped up my hours to help cover the shortfall. If you have a prestigious (read: top 10) MBA or JD degree, there's plenty of jobs.

New poster here ... I have a top ten JD and SAH. Can you give me any leads for that type job? Sorry to hijack!

Absolutely: look at aigac.org member directory (its a crappy website, but it works). Off the top of my head check accepted.com, Anna Ivey consulting, essay edge, mbaexchange, veritas prep. If memory serves me right, they all do MBA and JD admissions consulting.

It's far less fun, but you could also look at teaching the GRE or GMAT. Manhattan GMAT paid something like $100 an hour a few years ago. You had to have scored in the top 1%, but if you have, also a good gig.

Definitely still read the Two-Income trap - whatever you decide to do, it will give a you a new perspective on managing your money. I work and found it beneficial.

You all are right- I want the flexibility of staying home while not wanting my lifestyle to drastically change. We are going to "live off" DH's salary through the remainder of 2013, minus the expenses we'd give up if I stay home. To be perfectly honest, I'm not interested in a career. I have a communications degree from a school you've probably never heard of (now comprised of mostly spoiled rich kids from the DMV) and wound up with a security clearance and job with the feds that pays me nearly 6 figures to be a glorified secretary. I'm not using my brain and cry each and every Sunday because I just want to hang out with my daughter instead of phoning it in at this silly job. I have a great 20 minute commute, nice coworkers and because the job doesn't require a rocket scientist, time to peruse message boards. I GET that it's not that bad. But at the end of the day, it IS that bad. Why pay someone else $2500 a month to raise my child when I think I'm pretty capable of doing it myself? I guess when I put it that way, I don't really need those "extras" as much as I think I do.

We make staying at home work at 60k. How? We live in PG county and are very frugal. No trips to target (I can basically find anything there cheaper somewhere else), no fancy stuff, no vacations. It's not actually a voluntary arrangement and I am looking for work, but you know what? It's ok. I don't think we're miserable or depriving ourselves of anything important. On the contrary, I feel like we spend a lot of time together as a family and are very happy.

Here are the things you are willing to sacrifice to be home with your kid:
1) A job you don't like and aren't excelling at
2) Prospects of excelling at the job you don't like later
3) cleaning lady

Here are the things you have said you will not sacrifice:
1) Meals out for DH
2) 3-bedroom house in great location
3) shopping when and how you want

Sounds to me like you need to find a different job, not stay home.

It sounds like PT may be the best fit for you. Have you tried? Before fully jumping ship I would at least try to see if it's possible. Assuming you've been with your company for a while, they have money invested in you / your skills and might be willing to make the PT compromise in order to keep you around. It can't hurt to at least pursue it as an option.

And my impression from reading these boards is that it is a LOT easier to ramp up a PT job then to get back in from SAH.

Also agree with all the suggestions to give yourself a couple months to live off of just your DH's salary so you can get a better feeling for your real budget balance.

Anonymous wrote:I have worked PT in MBA Admissions consulting for a number of years, I've just ramped up my hours to help cover the shortfall. If you have a prestigious (read: top 10) MBA or JD degree, there's plenty of jobs.

New poster here ... I have a top ten JD and SAH. Can you give me any leads for that type job? Sorry to hijack!

I stayed at home with a deficit. The deficit grew and so did the stress. I did find some well-paying contract work (after a year of searching and searching), but it required me to be available to go into DC on the spur of the moment and finding last minute childcare was always a stress, too.
I took a full-time job. After a year, I was able to get down to 4 days per week. I would like to stay home but for me, doing it without enough money is too stressful to enjoy it. Oh, I have a top 10 JD but at the time was not licensed in DC.

I have worked PT in MBA Admissions consulting for a number of years, I've just ramped up my hours to help cover the shortfall. If you have a prestigious (read: top 10) MBA or JD degree, there's plenty of jobs.

To me a sahm is one that stays at home and does not earn a wage. That doesn't sounds like what you want. It sounds like you want to be able to spend more time with your child and/or find a differnt job/career. Is part time a possibility? Are reduced hours (say 28-32) a possibility? Can you and your spouse stagger your work hours an hour or so, to give each of you more one on one time with your child and to decrease the time your DC spends in othercare? Is your DH pulling his share of the chores?

1600sqft is plenty for a family of 4. I grew up in a 1500 sqft house in a family of four and it didn't seem small until we were teenagers, but we coped. If you are in Alexandria schools, I would consider if you want to stay there when your children are school aged.

If you want to sah, live off your DH's income for 6-9 months (save ALL of your post tax income less nanny cost). You will end up with a nest egg that you can use if things get too tight and you will know if it is doable for you and your spouse.

My children are 14 and 16 and if I could choose which years to sah, if would be middle and HS years. There are far fewer aftercare opportunities at that age, especially in the summer. Teens at home alone for hours frequently get into trouble.

Are you able to save for college and retirement on DH's salary?

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I guess I just wanted someone to say, "Hey, I had a deficit, we made it work. It gets easier." or maybe, "Here's a part time job I did" like the last poster said about her diaper cakes. I refuse to make my husband miserable by lengthing his commute or telling him what he can and cannot spend money on. We're realistic that the occasional dinner out is going to become just that- occasional. We're not going to spend tons of money at Christmas. We do use mint, and we use amazon prime. We're not $$ wasters, which is why I know that cutting about $700 is going to be tough and I may not be able to SAHM like I want to.

I work in government contracting and would love to stay part time to not have to worry about my clearance expiring. Anyone have any luck with that?

To answer your question:
1. I spend waaay less money now that I did working. Ie, going to Target and spending $50 is not a fun activity with a toddler and baby, so I do those errands less and less and find it was really just frivolous things I didn't really need for the most part. I didn't believe this before it happened to me, but the outings to the mall, Target, etc etc are cut way down.
2. We do tons of free activities, and have hooked up with a group of moms who do the same things so it's fun and social for me and the kids. I was just telling DH that I spent $5 total on activities last week and we went out 4 of the 5 days (other moms house, playground, free passes to bounce house, museum storytime)
3. I told all my WOHM friends that if they need back up care I'm available, for a small fee. Way reduced price from what they would pay for a back up nanny,etc, but I do end up just about every week having a kid or two that I watch for half day, after school, before school etc while the moms have appts they can't miss, late meeting, other kids dance recital etc etc. But I'm still free to do things I want to do with my kids and can always say "no" if I can't/don't want to
4. My grocery bill/restaurant bill is way down. I have time to go slowly around the grocery store, actually cooking meals and packing my husband great lunches that are less expensive than him eating out (he prefers my lunches I swear), no more "I ran out of food, let's grab Chinese on the way home", so we notice a big decrease in that part of the budget
5. I do work one weekend day, about 6 hours-7 hours, in a healthcare field to keep my foot in the door and add some money in. You would know what your particular field is.

Hope this helps! I love it and it is worth it all to me, every day.

Nothing wrong with staying at home, but I agree you should live on one income for a few months and see if you can handle it. Discuss it with your DH and see how he feels. Some men cannot handle being the sole income earner in the household. It's a lot of pressure, especially when bills start falling behind.

I know two stay at home moms in MD, one teaches exercise classes part time for extra cash, but they live super frugally in a small apartment. The other one sells items on Ebay and they are always broke pretty much. But it seems like they've grown accustomed to it.

10:28... I read through a few previous threads from a few years ago and saw the snarkiness of "this'll never work unless you have a million dollars" but thought maybe I'd find some SAHMs who had some concrete ideas. Not taking any of this personally. Sure, it sucks that it may not work out, but at the end of the day, I'm going to do whatever I can to at least have the chance and say we gave it a whirl. I may be miserable that we can't spend or I may get accustomed to our new lifestyle just fine. At the end of the day, I think staying home is the right decision for my family for right now and I want to do whatever I can to make it a successful and seamless transition.

OP here- I guess I just wanted someone to say, "Hey, I had a deficit, we made it work. It gets easier." or maybe, "Here's a part time job I did" like the last poster said about her diaper cakes. I refuse to make my husband miserable by lengthing his commute or telling him what he can and cannot spend money on. We're realistic that the occasional dinner out is going to become just that- occasional. We're not going to spend tons of money at Christmas. We do use mint, and we use amazon prime. We're not $$ wasters, which is why I know that cutting about $700 is going to be tough and I may not be able to SAHM like I want to.

I work in government contracting and would love to stay part time to not have to worry about my clearance expiring. Anyone have any luck with that?

10:28 follows 10:25