My DD used to do well at school but have massive meltdowns when she got home. Turns out she has ADHD and was working so hard to keep it together at school that she was just destroyed by the time she got home. Once we started treating the ADHD the meltdowns stopped and she was much happier.

Ignore the posters who have no idea what they are talking about.

I would work on her diet. Cut out the sugar. That includes things like flavored yogurt, and most other processed foods. My daughter is a nightmare on sugar and most kids eat a ton of it.

Anonymous wrote:Probably been allowed to get away with things over the years and the tantrums have been overlooked.

Now its a problem. I go with the slap and the timeout place.

OP here, wow- do you feel better about writing that in this post? You must be a lovely person.

Thanks to all helpful PPs.

I second the suggestion to get an "expert" opinion. No need to start with the enormous (in terms of money and time) neuropsych exam -- a couole meetings (with relevant testing, if any) with a developmental psychologist would do it.

My dd, now 6.5, has always been intense. But her pre-k year the emotional dysregulation was really out of control -- meltdowns and crying fits over everything, multiple times a day, at home at and school. With the help of a psychologist, we decided that the school fit was really terrible. Starting in kindergarten, she was in a much more structured environment. In the fall, we started a sticker chart where she would get a sticker for going a period of time without a meltdown. We stopped doing it because it was so hard for her and she wasnt getting any stickers.

We did the same sticker chart again last month. The first day or two, she struggled and then she started getting stickers for every time period. In fact, we've now phased it out because I can't remember the last time she had a melt down other than when she was extremely over tired.

The sticker chart gave her the motivation to get it together, but a school that was a good fit gave her the space to develop more emotional control to make her successful.

Good luck!

Probably been allowed to get away with things over the years and the tantrums have been overlooked.

Now its a problem. I go with the slap and the timeout place.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,

Transitions are difficult for kids, e.g., school to summer, school day to the end of the day. Some kids also hold it together at school and just can't at home. I would provide as much structure as you can, especially for weekends if that's when she becomes untethered. Try to track what the triggers are and strategize how to circumvent them.

(P.S. Supernanny isn't real. It's a highly edited television show geared for entertainment. It's value for childrearing techniques is equivalent to Keeping up with the Kardashians is to cultural enrichment.)

She was an actual nanny for many years and those are the techniques she used. They work like a charm. She has also written books on those very techniques.

There is no way to compare her to a family that is infamous because one of them was a media whore in a famous trial and the other was urinated on in a sex tape.

Being an actual nanny doesn't make you an behavioral specialist. Anyone can also write a book. Dan Brown (DaVinci Code author) used to write relationship advice books for women under a pseudonym.

No one said she's a behavioral specialist, but her methods work.

And her being a nanny as opposed to a behavioral specialist sure as hell still doesn't make her a Krapdashian.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,

Transitions are difficult for kids, e.g., school to summer, school day to the end of the day. Some kids also hold it together at school and just can't at home. I would provide as much structure as you can, especially for weekends if that's when she becomes untethered. Try to track what the triggers are and strategize how to circumvent them.

(P.S. Supernanny isn't real. It's a highly edited television show geared for entertainment. It's value for childrearing techniques is equivalent to Keeping up with the Kardashians is to cultural enrichment.)

She was an actual nanny for many years and those are the techniques she used. They work like a charm. She has also written books on those very techniques.

There is no way to compare her to a family that is infamous because one of them was a media whore in a famous trial and the other was urinated on in a sex tape.

Being an actual nanny doesn't make you an behavioral specialist. Anyone can also write a book. Dan Brown (DaVinci Code author) used to write relationship advice books for women under a pseudonym.

OP,

Try the Special Needs forum to for advice. Many BTDT parents.

OP - my niece had similar melt-downs that would last for what seemed like days. She was also very well behaved in school and would seem to reserve the bad behavior for home. My brother and SIL were at their wits end and didn't know what to do. Purely by chance the family had to go on a specific diet due to a parasite. During this time my niece's behavior changed dramatically. They simply thought she was finally maturing, but as soon as the foods were re-introduced for the family the behaviors returned. They took her to a pediatric nutritionist who did extensive blood work and found out her DD has food allergies (specifically dairy in her case) that were manifesting as behavioral issues. As long as my niece watches what she is eating her behavior is good. It was truly dramatic the change and my niece feels so much better.

I would consider doing some extensive research on whether she has food allergies (or sensitivities). Unfortunately, doctors often dismiss this idea (my niece's doctor did) so you will have to be persistent if you think something may be there. You may also wish to do some of your own "tests" by removing certain foods and see the outcome. You should also consider other evaluations and the ideas of learning disabilities, etc. but definitely consider food allergies/sensitivities also.

Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:OP,

Transitions are difficult for kids, e.g., school to summer, school day to the end of the day. Some kids also hold it together at school and just can't at home. I would provide as much structure as you can, especially for weekends if that's when she becomes untethered. Try to track what the triggers are and strategize how to circumvent them.

(P.S. Supernanny isn't real. It's a highly edited television show geared for entertainment. It's value for childrearing techniques is equivalent to Keeping up with the Kardashians is to cultural enrichment.)

She was an actual nanny for many years and those are the techniques she used. They work like a charm. She has also written books on those very techniques.

There is no way to compare her to a family that is infamous because one of them was a media whore in a famous trial and the other was urinated on in a sex tape.

OP,

Transitions are difficult for kids, e.g., school to summer, school day to the end of the day. Some kids also hold it together at school and just can't at home. I would provide as much structure as you can, especially for weekends if that's when she becomes untethered. Try to track what the triggers are and strategize how to circumvent them.

(P.S. Supernanny isn't real. It's a highly edited television show geared for entertainment. It's value for childrearing techniques is equivalent to Keeping up with the Kardashians is to cultural enrichment.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Supernanny never had issues with children who "wouldn't" sit on the rug. You just continue to put them on it without interacting with them, and they will eventually stay on it for the specified time.

Oh how the kids are in charge of so many families now. Imagine being a teacher and trying to control a whole room full of these snowflakes.

You're responding to my post and I AM a teacher!

I am as well. Your point?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does your dd do at school? Does she have any behavioral issues there. I second the idea to get a neuropsych exam or see a developmental pediatrician.

She does very well at school. No issues there. She is the one with her hand up all day wanting to ask questions. She's fidgety- but they've never mentioned it. I have wondered if she has some kind of ADHD. The first few months of school were horrible. Not at school- but when she got home- it was like she unloaded everything she had been holding in all day. It got better about 3 months in- but her behavior has started to worsen as of late. It was never totally great, either.

OP here- I mean behavior at home. She is excelling at school, perfect marks. Behavior awards.

Anonymous wrote:How does your dd do at school? Does she have any behavioral issues there. I second the idea to get a neuropsych exam or see a developmental pediatrician.

She does very well at school. No issues there. She is the one with her hand up all day wanting to ask questions. She's fidgety- but they've never mentioned it. I have wondered if she has some kind of ADHD. The first few months of school were horrible. Not at school- but when she got home- it was like she unloaded everything she had been holding in all day. It got better about 3 months in- but her behavior has started to worsen as of late. It was never totally great, either.

How does your dd do at school? Does she have any behavioral issues there. I second the idea to get a neuropsych exam or see a developmental pediatrician.