Anonymous
Post 06/27/2013 08:56     Subject: Re:Child got in on Appeal and I'm wondering If it's a good thing
There is a very simple solution to all this agonizing about AAP. Do not tell your kids about it! Why do 7-year olds need to know that there is an advanced academic program?

My DD is going to be in AAP in the fall (rising 3rd grader) and has no idea that such a program exists and that she's going to be in a different class than some of her friends. She was never told any of this and not knowing didn't hurt at all her chances of making it into the program. Yes, she's probably going to find out sometime in the future but we figured if we didn't make a big deal of it at home, she won't see it as such.

Parents create all this hooplah to get their kids pushed to their limit in order to make it to AAP and then start agonizing if it is a good thing that kids feel superior when they succeed... Isn't that crazy?
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2013 06:16     Subject: Child got in on Appeal and I'm wondering If it's a good thing
Anonymous wrote:Kudos to you for explaining to your daughter that not getting into AAP doesnt mean you are dumb or vice versa.

If she got in, you should put her in. She is happy about it, why take that away from her. The program is great no doubt.


I don't think that OP is considering not putting her DC in AAP. I think she is wondering if the existence of AAP is a good thing, now that she has realized the intensity of her DC's feelings and has surmised that other DCs might be feeling the same way, whether their parents know it or not. But there is no way that she would now tell her DC that the DC can't be in AAP after all. That is not even up for discussion.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2013 23:32     Subject: Child got in on Appeal and I'm wondering If it's a good thing
Anonymous wrote:So we submitted our daughter for AAP consideration in February without her knowing. She was found to be ineligible for Level IV. We appealed, again without her knowing. We received her eligibility determination yesterday. When we shared the news with her she was elated - literally crying tears of happiness. I have never seen her so happy (not even on Christmas Morning). As a parent, I had the same feelings - especially since her AART said she was "average" and not motivated and because she received a GBRS of 8 even though she consistently receives 4s.

Still, I was surprised by her reaction to the news. At the end of 2nd grade when she realized she did not get into AAP she shrugged it off as no big deal.

So when I asked her why she was so excited to find out she was in she said, "it's because I can be with my friends again and now people won't think I'm dumb".

I informed her that being in AAP doesn't mean she's smarter than anyone and it doesn't mean kids not in the program are "dumber" than those that are in the program.

When she went to bed last night I started thinking - AAP is great and as a parent we're fortunate to have the option within the public school system. However, is it worth the consequences? No child should be made to feel they are inferior - especially in their home school and in their neighborhood.


Well, yes, it actually does mean that she is "smarter than anyone" and it does mean kids not in the program are "dumber". Maybe it sucks but sadly not every kid is going to be smart OR not every kid is going to have parents like you who are willing to do whatever it takes to get their kid that label.

After all, didn't you appeal the decision because you were convinced that your DD was "smarter" that the rest of those kids in general education and you didn't want your kid stuck with those "dumber" kids.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2013 21:46     Subject: Child got in on Appeal and I'm wondering If it's a good thing
Kudos to you for explaining to your daughter that not getting into AAP doesnt mean you are dumb or vice versa.

If she got in, you should put her in. She is happy about it, why take that away from her. The program is great no doubt.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2013 20:13     Subject: Child got in on Appeal and I'm wondering If it's a good thing
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You applied and were denied and you spent all th effort to appeal. You finally got your kid in. What are you worrying about now? That she will feel smart for getting in, or dumb compared to some of the real geniuses who will be in the class? OP - what is your gripe? And why would you start complaining about this 'tough' situation, when there are probably many on this board who are truly disappointed their DC didn't get in.


OP here. don't get me wrong. I'm happy for my child. My heart breaks however, at the thought that she ever doubted her intelligence and felt alienated in anyway.
It breaks my heart to think other kids feel the same way.

Many on this forum - frequently distinguish "gifted" from "smart" from "hard work". As adults we have opportunities to make up for deficiencies in one area by focusing on others. We recognize we can overcome difficulties and disadvantages. 8 and 9 year olds are not as equipped.

As a parent I had no clue my daughter felt that way.


OP my DS is at TJ and I feel the same way. I think that he feels that he has to 'succeed" there at any cost. It is worrisome.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2013 20:02     Subject: Re:Child got in on Appeal and I'm wondering If it's a good thing
20:00 was to OP and 18:53. Not 19:58.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2013 20:00     Subject: Re:Child got in on Appeal and I'm wondering If it's a good thing
Let's give everyone a trophy. Every one is exactly the same and has all the same strengths and no weaknesses.

I fear for the future of America.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2013 19:58     Subject: Child got in on Appeal and I'm wondering If it's a good thing
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:By 3rd grade, the kids are very well aware of who the smartest kids in the class are, with or without AAP.


Yes, but the AAP selection process doesn't necessarily get all the smart kids. There is a difference between gifted and smart. There are smart kids who are left behind and have to live with the stigma created by the large percentage of kids that end up in AAP. So many smart but not gifted kids get into the program that is does make it seem like only kids who are not smart stay in Gen Ed. DS is in AAP and was shocked when two of the most academically advanced kids in his class didn't also get in. I explained that the program was an opportunity for him to learn things in a different way and not that the kids in the program are smarter than the ones who don't go. I think there should be a program for profoundly gifted kids and all the other kids should be in gen ed and should have access to the current AAP curriculum. I don't think DS is profoundly gifted so this is not a self-serving suggestion.


+1
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2013 18:53     Subject: Re:Child got in on Appeal and I'm wondering If it's a good thing
+1 and thanks for your honesty... I think a lot of parents feel that way.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2013 18:42     Subject: Child got in on Appeal and I'm wondering If it's a good thing
Anonymous wrote:You applied and were denied and you spent all th effort to appeal. You finally got your kid in. What are you worrying about now? That she will feel smart for getting in, or dumb compared to some of the real geniuses who will be in the class? OP - what is your gripe? And why would you start complaining about this 'tough' situation, when there are probably many on this board who are truly disappointed their DC didn't get in.


OP here. don't get me wrong. I'm happy for my child. My heart breaks however, at the thought that she ever doubted her intelligence and felt alienated in anyway.
It breaks my heart to think other kids feel the same way.

Many on this forum - frequently distinguish "gifted" from "smart" from "hard work". As adults we have opportunities to make up for deficiencies in one area by focusing on others. We recognize we can overcome difficulties and disadvantages. 8 and 9 year olds are not as equipped.

As a parent I had no clue my daughter felt that way.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2013 18:38     Subject: Re:Child got in on Appeal and I'm wondering If it's a good thing
Maybe she's just testing out her newfound smug superiority, feeling so sorry for the have nots.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2013 17:36     Subject: Child got in on Appeal and I'm wondering If it's a good thing
You applied and were denied and you spent all th effort to appeal. You finally got your kid in. What are you worrying about now? That she will feel smart for getting in, or dumb compared to some of the real geniuses who will be in the class? OP - what is your gripe? And why would you start complaining about this 'tough' situation, when there are probably many on this board who are truly disappointed their DC didn't get in.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2013 15:09     Subject: Child got in on Appeal and I'm wondering If it's a good thing
14:12, I agree with you. My only question would be how the AAP curriculum could be taught effectively in gen ed if it would not be a good fit with the majority of the class? Maybe in some schools it would work but not in others. I wish there was a way to do it.

It's possible to see it as a good thing that so many get into AAP. Not just profoundly gifted but also plain vanilla gifted with IQ 130 or above (which may seem average in our area but really is not). With lots getting in, that should include the borderline cases, so anyone not getting in can assume that they were not close to what should actually be the standards? People complain about dilution, everyone getting in. But on the flip side that sets you up to feel REALLY bad if you don't get in, like you weren't even close enough to be borderline. Or you LOOK like you weren't even close to borderline, if you are talking about stigma. I'm hoping that with WISC those with IQ 130 or above do get in at least on appeal.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2013 15:01     Subject: Child got in on Appeal and I'm wondering If it's a good thing
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:By 3rd grade, the kids are very well aware of who the smartest kids in the class are, with or without AAP.


Yes, but the AAP selection process doesn't necessarily get all the smart kids. There is a difference between gifted and smart. There are smart kids who are left behind and have to live with the stigma created by the large percentage of kids that end up in AAP. So many smart but not gifted kids get into the program that is does make it seem like only kids who are not smart stay in Gen Ed. DS is in AAP and was shocked when two of the most academically advanced kids in his class didn't also get in. I explained that the program was an opportunity for him to learn things in a different way and not that the kids in the program are smarter than the ones who don't go. I think there should be a program for profoundly gifted kids and all the other kids should be in gen ed and should have access to the current AAP curriculum. I don't think DS is profoundly gifted so this is not a self-serving suggestion.


Maybe the answer is to have three tiers instead of two -- profoundly and highly gifted kids go to the Center and moderately gifted kids stay at the base school for Local Level IV. This would work well for schools that have a critical mass of moderately gifted kids. For those schools that do not, then send the moderately gifted kids to the Center as well. This approach should reduce transportation costs somewhat.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2013 15:00     Subject: Re:Child got in on Appeal and I'm wondering If it's a good thing
You can always drop out.