Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you okay with your kids getting Cs?

OP here. Actually, yes. I have no problem if my kids get Cs. I was pushed by well-meaning parents to excel as a child and all it did was keep me inside studying while I should have been enjoying my childhood. I will encourage my kids to skip the homework and have fun instead.

I believe this may be a clue to one reason you've lost motivation -- burnout from years of acheiving for others and not for yourself. Motherhood is a chance to step off the treadmill, and for some of us at least, we have no desire to step back on that treadmill.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you okay with your kids getting Cs?

OP here. Actually, yes. I have no problem if my kids get Cs. I was pushed by well-meaning parents to excel as a child and all it did was keep me inside studying while I should have been enjoying my childhood. I will encourage my kids to skip the homework and have fun instead.

That is quite fascinating. I was raised by well meaning parents who were often absent, because they worked a lot and lived very social lives (local government, bridge, drinks with co-workers, etc.). I was also the youngest. I did well in school until high school, when you had to start trying. Basically my older sister was a brain, and (this is esp relevant if you read last Sunday's Parade article on siblings), I felt like the academic thing had already been done in my family. I got no pressure, other than to simply attend college somewhere. So I really lived it up at a young age. I have always been street smart and have a very hard time dealing with precious snowflakes in the work force. I guess I am successful, but feel like I would be be more so in a less academic, bureaucratic town. I became very driven as an adult, despite years of semi-delinquency. So, I guess I agree with you about not pushing your kid. Some of my happiest memories are of being a free wheeling teenager who regularly came to school fucked up.

There is a distinction between not worrying too much or caring if you get ahead, on the one hand, versus not doing the best job possible at your current job. Deciding you don't need to push yourself to hard to get ahead is fine - but doing "c" work at your current job means you have a poor work ethic.

Anonymous wrote:Are you okay with your kids getting Cs?

OP here. Actually, yes. I have no problem if my kids get Cs. I was pushed by well-meaning parents to excel as a child and all it did was keep me inside studying while I should have been enjoying my childhood. I will encourage my kids to skip the homework and have fun instead.

I'd be more motivated if I was more. As it stands, I still do B work for C pay.

I'm 35 and have been apathetic for over a year after a beloved boss left and the new boss just didn't inspire and challenge me the same way. Also I'm undergoing fertility treatments and I think the stress of that and the constant failure is rubbing off on my work life.

Check out this short video: The surprising truth about what movitates us.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc&NR=1

Are you okay with your kids getting Cs?

This is me exactly. Also 33, 3 kids, and totally content with being average at work. I just want to do a good enough job that ifI mess up every now and then and its not a big deal.i

Prior to to age 28, I was top of my class in law school and had serious career ambitions. Now I just want to do my work and go home to make dinner and be a room parent and take my kids to ballet.

Not only do I not want to lean in, I would rather lean out!

Right there with you OP. I'm just a bit over average. Which is all you really have to be these days. I just don't care. The thought of doing my job for the next 25 years is depressing. The thought of getting a new job and having to prove myself again requires more effort than I'm willing to expend.

Have you been screened for depression?

Working blows. Do as little as necessary to get good performance reviews. Most employers don't care about you, so why put yourself out? They talk a good game, but it's all BS.

OP - have you thought about transferring to a new job? I had a new position when I returned from maternity leave and the newness really motivated me to kick ass at my work. My old place had been under utilizing me and it wasn't challenging enough so I just settled into being mediocre, but with the new job, new responsibilities, and a boss who thought I had potential, I've really caught fire again and I love what I do. Being excited about my career makes me a happier person - happier wife, and I believe a happier mother. I love being a mom but being a stay at home mom is not my calling in life and I feel so thrilled to come home to DD after a long day of hard work I can be proud of. Maybe you've outgrown your current position and need to change it up.

Anonymous wrote:I have zero motivation and that's a function of my work environment - it zaps all of my motivation. The harder I work, the less reward I get...so why bother? I'm 32, FWIW. There are no bonuses, no raises- been making the same income for 3 years, so if they think they're going to get more work out of me for the same income, they are very mistaken.

I do have motivation to look for other work, but I'm pregnant and it's not realistic to try to get another job when I'm past my first trimester.

+1 except not currently pregnant and and looking for a better job. Going through a divorce too and have a 4YO so job hunting isn't getting much attention though. The more I work the more they dump on me while others just surf the net. It's infuriating.

I have zero motivation and that's a function of my work environment - it zaps all of my motivation. The harder I work, the less reward I get...so why bother? I'm 32, FWIW. There are no bonuses, no raises- been making the same income for 3 years, so if they think they're going to get more work out of me for the same income, they are very mistaken.

I do have motivation to look for other work, but I'm pregnant and it's not realistic to try to get another job when I'm past my first trimester.