you sound selfish. Sorry but if I were your parents, you would be out of the will. I would spend all my money on a place that was going to take care of me when I was older. You sure as hell don't sound like you would be up to the task. Shame on you!

858 again here. Just FYI, assisted living places don't have to be "warehouses" or "run down" at least if you can afford a nice one. my grandmother researched and chose an assisted living community herself when she turned 85 because she felt she was slowing down, didn't want to live with her kids and preferred the independence offered by such places. She chose an EXCELLENT (and expensive) place kind of near her home, paid for it out of her savings, hired movers and then informed her children. She's still there. And happy about it!

suck it up OP. enjoy the time with your grandmother and focus your anger on what's actually wrong - that there needs to be progress on finding the best situation for her. Instead of complaining, start doing the research. START by talking to your grandmother about what she wants. maybe next weekend while you're there.

Op, I hope your kids stick your ass in some run down assisted living facility when you get old. Perhaps, then you will realize how much your attitude sucks.

Welcome to the sandwich generation! Hope it does not bankrupt us all!

Op isn't selfish, it so sounds like she is being rational. It is impossible for two working adults to properly care for a recovering elderly person in a non-equipped home. It's unsafe and really sets your grandmother up to become depressed due to lack of social interaction. Also, what's going on with rehab for your grandmother? She needs some way to get exercise, etc.

Your parents probably don't want to deal with the issue so are trying to skirt around it by having her at their home. I really feel bad for your grandmother in this situation. Why don't you talk to her this weekend about what she wants to do?

OP,

You are a selfish person and so is your sister. You are willing to take help in childcare from your parents, but now that your needs are over, you do not want to help them take care of grandma. Probably you will do the same when your parents need help.

Beware, your kids are watching how you behave and they will do the same for you. Such selfishness!! Please also ponder what your marriage is like...because a selfish person like you could have only attracted another selfish person.

I think there's something going on you don't know about. Like, parents receive money as caregivers and/or there's potential inheritance that they don't want to be spent on assisted living. I think you sense that and you are mad because they want to use your help but not necessarily share the benefits.
Sorry if I am being too cynical, I am only guessing without much knowledge of the people involved.