I've sent my child to my inlaws for 2 weeks, but I would never, ever do it in the middle of a divorce - without a full custody agreement in place.

No. Just no.

Happily married, love my in-laws who care for our three-year-old every day, my kid frequently spends the night with them and has a little bed at their house... and your in-laws are cray-cray. Having a long trip without mommy is one thing (if dad is there) but being away from both parents for 12 days? Not unless there's an emergency that demands it. Be honest and push your suggestions--you are okay with a trip that's XX number of days or XX days with dad and XX with just grandparents (if any).

13:27 here...noticed all of my typos...

I meant to say that in the situation the OP described I would NOT feel comfortable with my kid staying with the g-parents that long (or at all in this particular situation)
Also in the last sentence I meant to say "does this generation not TRUST their parents at all"?
And I am geniunely asking...not being snarky...
Believe me I know plenty of people with untrusty family members...

I love my inlaws who live out of state and trust them completely. I can't see letting them watch my toddler for more than several hours at a time.

My kids stayed with my parents overseas for 10 days while DH and I went on vacation together. They were 4 and 6 at the time and it was fine - everyone had a great time. However, it all depends on your comfort level and in your situation I wouldn't do it becuase it's the ILs that are pushing for it and because you don't seem to be comfortable with the arrangements, or with the fact that your kid would be fine and not cry for you the whole time. It's OK to say no and you don't owe anyone any explanations when it's your kid. Good luck, OP!

For a month...My 2 yr old stayed with my mom and step-dad (and my grandmom across the street) when she was 2.
We were in the middle of a move.
That was not the plan...but what ended up happening...
It was perfectly fine.

In these circumstances...I would not do as g-parents requested...
But I don't find it out that the g-parents asked.
But find it odd so many people don't let their kids stay with their own parents...is there that many people who don't trust their own parents or in-laws for that matter??
My 8 yr old is going to g-parents for a month this summer...I spent the entire summer with mine when i was a kid...in the country (we lived in the city)
Does this generation of parents not like THEIR parents at all?

I would say it was okay if the kid was 12 or older.

Nothing before that. It's too long.

I have had my daughter stay with my parents for 2-5 days, solo. However, I think it worked only because she was really used to them (i.e., we stayed with my parents for three days, then DH and I left for two nights to attend a wedding, during the longer trip, we were actually living with my parents so she got to stay home.) I think taking a 2.5 year old away from home would be disruptive.

1) I would not send my DD to my own parents' place for 2 weeks without me until she's 10+ and my parents absolutely take the best care of her, totally respect my wishes, etc. No way would I do that with my ILs either. I'd miss DD, DD would be bewildered to be suddenly without either of us for that long - no way, unless I'm bedridden and literally can not care for her myself.

2) Are your sure it's legal for your DH to do it on "his" time? I've heard of some divorced couples where one needs the other's permission to take the child out of state. Be sure to have your attorney look at that one.

3) Your ILs should be coordinating their grandparent time with their son, not you, but since you seem inclined to accommodate them, you could invite them to come visit DS here and recommend the nearest hotel.

Tell them if they want to see DC they can fly to your city, stay in a hotel, and come over to visit.

No way. You are going through a very stressful time as it is with the divorce. If you give in now this is what they will expect in the future. Don't let them start walking on you now. My inlaws are alcoholics so I would never leave my DC with them.

Anonymous wrote:Way, way too young for this. Even if you were happily married and everything was coming up roses. There is no way a 2 year old is going across the country for a vacation without parents. Just no.

This.

Way, way too young for this. Even if you were happily married and everything was coming up roses. There is no way a 2 year old is going across the country for a vacation without parents. Just no.

i would not be comfortable with this.

No way. Over my dead body.