I have a prenup.

Probably not the prenup they were asking her to sign, but there probably is a fair one to be written.

My dad's family business grew five times over under his stewardship. My mom largely stayed home and raised us over two decades. What do you think she should have been entitled to? Nothing? Half? Something in between? Not so easy.

The parents are completely wrong to boycott the wedding (a family event) over the prenup issue (a business issue.)

That said, their concern is legitimate. In a family business, most of the husband's assets are probably non-liquid. Upon divorce, if those assets are divided, transferring them to an ex-spouse is likely to require either making the ex-wife a partner in the business (obviously undesirable and only possible if she agrees, anyhow) or liquidating the business's assets to pay her off in cash, which would have a significant business effect and might even mean dissolving the company.

This is a perfect situation for a prenup. There is no standard form to which the bride is forced to acquiesce; rather, it is an opportunity for the couple to discuss in advance what would be a fair solution to a difficult problem. With their lawyers, they can mutually craft a plan to address what they hope won't happen in the future, that will be fair to both of them.

There are creative ways to solve this challenge that don't just mean, for example, a SAHM bride who gave up her own career walks away a pauper after a divorce.

The best prenups protect both spouses from excessive rancor, arguing, and unfairness upon divorce. I think the bride should set aside her prejudices and meet with a very knowledgeable family law attorney of her choosing to become educated about her options.

Then the parents should set aside their prejudices and remember that they are going to be parents-in-law, not just business owners.

Anonymous wrote:If it is small family business, odds are very good that over the course of their marriage the spouse is going to put a great deal of unpaid sweat equity into the business to help make it successful.

I agree with this.

I wouldn't sign because I can't predict the future. I also wouldn't sign because I would not be attempting to get part of his family's business in the unlikely event that we did divorce and if the person I were marrying didn't trust at least that about me, I would question the foundation of the relationship. I'm guessing that's what OP means by a value system, not trusting that someone isn't out for your money (and valuing safeguarding that money over demonstrating trust of the person you love). Also, it indicates a mindset where divorce is an option going into a marriage (which it is for many people) and if you aren't one of those people, that's unsettling.

No.

If it is small family business, odds are very good that over the course of their marriage the spouse is going to put a great deal of unpaid sweat equity into the business to help make it successful.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know much about business, but can't there be something in his business contract that a spouse doesn't have rights to the business?

I'm not a divorce attorney and have no experience with divorce, but I would assume the ownership interest in the business (stock) would have to be valued and included in the combine marital property, which would be divided upon divorce. And, while the nonbusiness owner couldn't demand the actual stock in the business (I don't think), they would have a right to the value of their share of that stock.

This is just my completely uneducated guess.

Why does a prenup go against her value system? Is she a money honey?

I don't know much about business, but can't there be something in his business contract that a spouse doesn't have rights to the business?

I would sign something saying I had no claim to his family business (assuming I would not be working with the family business) but I would not sign anything with regard to our marriage or earnings or assets outside of the family business.

No, never.

Anonymous wrote:For a family business? Absolutely.

For my future husband's income? Nope.

I 100% understand why I would be asked to sign something that I have no rights to the family business.

I am not sure is see the distinction, if the business grows the new wife wont benefit fom that. She would only benefit from his salary and bonuses taken.

Anonymous wrote:I would, but I came into my relationship with more financially so I think that makes me biased.

+1 I own a house, a condo, have two kids under 5 and am apparently in the top 3% (although my loans make me feel poor). I have no intention of losing my financial stability or that of my children to an ex DH.

Why do people in general look down on people who won't sign one?

For a family business? Absolutely.

For my future husband's income? Nope.

I 100% understand why I would be asked to sign something that I have no rights to the family business.