I'd love to have gotten help, but didn't (although my loser brother did). We started hardcore saving after we got married at 25 and had a pretty good sum by the time we bought our first house three years later.

We got roughly $50K. Did not ask--it was volunteered. My midwestern parents were flabbergasted at the cost of housing in this area. We're a double-Fed family, so don't make a ton of money and and only spent $400K on our house in total. My primary interest was keeping the monthly payments low enough that we could swing daycare costs for 2 kids, so the add'l down payment $$ did help.

I borrowed about $14,000 from my parents to supplement my down payment. Paid them back in a year - I had a roomate who paid me a (nominal) rent - I sent that directly along to my parents. Often, I had him write out the check directly to them.

That said, I don't get the vitriol heaped on people who DID get substantial help from parents. If the parents are able - why not? I certainly hope to be able to help my kids. (I like the idea of creating an investment account now, and forgetting about it.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. And honestly, it never occurred to me to ask them. Both DH 's and my parents have plenty of money. However, we would never accept money from them to purchase a home. If we were in a dire financial crisis, it would be different. But to buy a home? No. We are adults capable of earning our own way.

This is a noble point etc - but it basically says that SAHMs aren't adults, yes? Since they aren't "earning their own way?" Hope there aren't any SAHMs on here bragging about how "they" bought a house.

One of the dumbest responses I have ever read. And I'm not a SAHM. A mother (or father) who chooses to stay at home and take care of children and a home IS contributing. Unless of course you know of a place where free child care and free housekeeping is available.

Anonymous wrote:Not a penny.

Same. Zero contributions from my family. If it was offered, I would've accepted, but I would never ask for it.

Anonymous wrote:No. My parents are poor immigrants, I'm glad they are self sufficient and didn't need me to support them.

Same here. If anyone is asking anyone its not me asking them.

We bought when I was 31 (two years ago) after living in a crappy apartment for 7 years to save up a downpayment of almost $100K (seriously, our apartment was old and run-down, but it was cheap and close-in). If you're making $100K, you can surely cut some fat out of your budget and save up -- we saved an average of $10K the years only one of us worked and the other went to school (and at that time, we were making more like $60K total), a lot more when both of us started working (and our HHI was about $110K at that time, now it's more). If we could do it even in the lean years, you can, too. I think you ARE wasting money on renting if you're spending more than $1200/month pre-kids (which I am assuming you are). Look for something dirt cheap and SAVE UP.

Anonymous wrote:"Whah" should probably cover everything you need to say when you ask your dad for this money. Add in an "it's not fair" to seal the deal.

OP Here:

This is the best response, by far

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much judgement already and no one has answered yes tons of $ from mom and dad. I bet you won't get honest answers now. (Meaning people who did get help now won't feel comfortable joining with their comment)

I di!
- 14:05

Good! Our posts must have crossed because that wasn't visible when I posted mine. We got help too-combination of savings from my DH and $ that my grandmother had put away for me and been saved for years. We are very fortunate and have an affordable mortgage in a nice townhouse with a great school district and that would have been impossible to afford at the time around here.

Anonymous wrote:So much judgement already and no one has answered yes tons of $ from mom and dad. I bet you won't get honest answers now. (Meaning people who did get help now won't feel comfortable joining with their comment)

I di!
- 14:05

No. My parents are poor immigrants, I'm glad they are self sufficient and didn't need me to support them.

I think I will.

I am your age and DH is a few years older. I just had the conversation with my mom where she told me she and my dad plan to offer this within the year, and I have not told DH yet but I plan to gratefully accept it and am sure he will agree. We make low 6 figs combined, and can't afford to buy here any time soon without help. I know they can afford it so I do not feel guilty. We are watching most friends buy big expensive places on their huge salaries. Unfortunately, we don't have similar salaries.

Anonymous wrote:Big fat ZERO. But I'm a local, not some privileged transplant whose parents set up an investment account for me and slid me $20K to $500K+ to buy something.

You can get 100% financing like I did, so don't worry. Just contact a local prosperity mortgage branch.

I'm a transplant and didn't get shit!

So much judgement already and no one has answered yes tons of $ from mom and dad. I bet you won't get honest answers now. (Meaning people who did get help now won't feel comfortable joining with their comment)

Anonymous wrote:No. And honestly, it never occurred to me to ask them. Both DH 's and my parents have plenty of money. However, we would never accept money from them to purchase a home. If we were in a dire financial crisis, it would be different. But to buy a home? No. We are adults capable of earning our own way.

This is a noble point etc - but it basically says that SAHMs aren't adults, yes? Since they aren't "earning their own way?" Hope there aren't any SAHMs on here bragging about how "they" bought a house.