I think I would enjoy not working and getting my kids off to school or to events. I'd even like to volunteer at school. But, my husband's salary is only enough to pay the bills, we need my money for all the extra stuff. So I'll work to provide those things. I think it is important for the kids to be on teams, see the the world, and have experiences. I work to give them those things. I know it is a trade off. If I could not work and still give them those things that would be the best choice. I'm actually thinking part time would be great, because I could do some of these things, but still pay for all the extras.

If you quit your job you are fully dependent on your spouse. Being fully dependent on another person is always a risk. Is it a risk you are comfortable with?

I think it's totally worth it. It seems like you are financially stable and that while your income is nice, it's not necessary for your kids to eat. You can't always go back to the kids being 3 and 5 but you can always go back to work. It may not be the same job/same hours/same benefits but there are always jobs.

There aren't many jobs in the 500k range. My DH and I are more evenly matched so it is less of any issue. Could you support the household in 140 if needed? Or just savings? Who knows maybe he'd like you to work so that he can also retire early (sah).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were in a similar situation and I left work when the kids were 7, 5 and 1. How much does DH work? In our case, making 500k plus was a 70 hour a week job plus travel, often for the entire week. It is a partnership and our family is much better off with one person working 70 hours than 2 people stressed out trying to work 110 hours a week.

I have watched some of my friends with lower HHI's have trouble surviving on one job. So I would weigh how secure is DH's job and how secure is your marriage. Did you marry after college or grad school? Are both sets of parents are still together? If those two things are true and confident of things after two kids, you are most likely just fine.

Wait, are you saying DH had to increase his hours for you to stay home?

SHe said her DH worked 70 of the 110 hours and she worked 40. He still works the 70 hours. (70 + 40 = 110)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can do it but I will say that you haven't funded college enough given that your HHI before takes is 640k. With that much coming in, college funds should be big. 50k per kid is a great start but not flush. So, either work and really make it worth it and fully fund college, pay down house fast and have no debt(not even cars), or take the pay cut and enjoy time with your kids. I am a sahm and love almost every bit of it. When I stopped working, I made more than you and have struggled a bit with being a financial dependent for the first time since college. But it is worth and when I feel ready, I will start working again. Being a sahm is actually hard work and fitting in work right now would force me to take time away from my kids. That is exactly why I stopped working and gave up a great career. So for me, working again will happen but not until it works with being a full time mom.

Tell me what "fully fund college" means? I'm banking on the power of compounding to grow the college funds. My kids have 12 and 15 years before they need the money. I am up for paying for 4 years of college, but not grad school. I'd like there to be enough to support out of state tuition since I live in MD.

College cost have risen faster than investments in recent years ( of course you can pick and choose dates to prove me wrong- but over the long haul over the past 5+ years...). I would say the minimum to fully fund a flagship out of state college would be $100k for tuition and fees and $50k-$60k for room and board. No matter what age. That is what it costs today and you may have to add to that if the college costs contune to exceed investments. Add another $100k per child in other investments not limited to education if you think your children may attend private schools without any scholarships. Many private schools will give funding so that the cost is equal to the out of state tuition cost- some even match in state tuition costs. Room and board costs are relatively the same across the board- some more and some less of course- but with less variation. If you are willing to pay full freight, it may allow your child to enter a school that might have been a stretch otherwise.

Anonymous wrote:We were in a similar situation and I left work when the kids were 7, 5 and 1. How much does DH work? In our case, making 500k plus was a 70 hour a week job plus travel, often for the entire week. It is a partnership and our family is much better off with one person working 70 hours than 2 people stressed out trying to work 110 hours a week.

I have watched some of my friends with lower HHI's have trouble surviving on one job. So I would weigh how secure is DH's job and how secure is your marriage. Did you marry after college or grad school? Are both sets of parents are still together? If those two things are true and confident of things after two kids, you are most likely just fine.

Wait, are you saying DH had to increase his hours for you to stay home?

We were in a similar situation and I left work when the kids were 7, 5 and 1. How much does DH work? In our case, making 500k plus was a 70 hour a week job plus travel, often for the entire week. It is a partnership and our family is much better off with one person working 70 hours than 2 people stressed out trying to work 110 hours a week.

I have watched some of my friends with lower HHI's have trouble surviving on one job. So I would weigh how secure is DH's job and how secure is your marriage. Did you marry after college or grad school? Are both sets of parents are still together? If those two things are true and confident of things after two kids, you are most likely just fine.

Anonymous wrote:You can do it but I will say that you haven't funded college enough given that your HHI before takes is 640k. With that much coming in, college funds should be big. 50k per kid is a great start but not flush. So, either work and really make it worth it and fully fund college, pay down house fast and have no debt(not even cars), or take the pay cut and enjoy time with your kids. I am a sahm and love almost every bit of it. When I stopped working, I made more than you and have struggled a bit with being a financial dependent for the first time since college. But it is worth and when I feel ready, I will start working again. Being a sahm is actually hard work and fitting in work right now would force me to take time away from my kids. That is exactly why I stopped working and gave up a great career. So for me, working again will happen but not until it works with being a full time mom.

Tell me what "fully fund college" means? I'm banking on the power of compounding to grow the college funds. My kids have 12 and 15 years before they need the money. I am up for paying for 4 years of college, but not grad school. I'd like there to be enough to support out of state tuition since I live in MD.

You can do it but I will say that you haven't funded college enough given that your HHI before takes is 640k. With that much coming in, college funds should be big. 50k per kid is a great start but not flush. So, either work and really make it worth it and fully fund college, pay down house fast and have no debt(not even cars), or take the pay cut and enjoy time with your kids. I am a sahm and love almost every bit of it. When I stopped working, I made more than you and have struggled a bit with being a financial dependent for the first time since college. But it is worth and when I feel ready, I will start working again. Being a sahm is actually hard work and fitting in work right now would force me to take time away from my kids. That is exactly why I stopped working and gave up a great career. So for me, working again will happen but not until it works with being a full time mom.

It's great. We're broke and I'm probably screwed if we split but that's something we hope to avoid. You still make mistakes and fail to be a "perfect" mom/spouse but it was the right decision for our family. (and wrong for others.)

Anonymous wrote:OP, a few questions: how old are you? Do you plan to have more children? Do you get things other than money from work - sense of satisfaction or pride, socialization, intellection satisfaction?

I'm 40 and DH is 45. We do not plan to have any more children. I don't get much out of work these days. Truthfully, I'm bored. I actually get more out of my PT job teaching then I do out of my full time job. I've been doing my full time job for the last 15 years. There is no growth potential. I can either do this for the next 20 years or walk away. The main benefit of my job is that I have a lot of seniortiy and flexibility.

Honestly it is more of a quality of life issue. If DH makes $500K and you make $140K gross obviously you can afford it. The problem is that with high salaries comes a lot of stress. I second one PP's suggestion to work PT.

OP, a few questions: how old are you? Do you plan to have more children? Do you get things other than money from work - sense of satisfaction or pride, socialization, intellection satisfaction?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't be comfortable living off of another adult.

What a peculiar world view. Marriage is not living off someone. It's creating a single economic unit, a partnership.

But then the non working partner loses all leverage. Couldn't do it.