"I loooooove my daughter in law! We are so close, it's like I am her mom, too (which makes it weird that she doesn't want to spend every holiday with us, I don't understand it). I just have one or two gripes with her, and they are small ones: first, that she exists, and second, that she won't recognize that I am the head of the household to which my son (still) belongs! She also has a tendency to not follow every single tidbit of advice that I give her on everything from childrearing to home decorating. Of course I would never tell her that I am annoyed at this...I just do my best to drop little hints that let her know.

"I also am a teensy bit depressed that she stole my son from my best friend's daughter, who he never dated or showed any interest in or vice versa, but who I was planning for him to marry since he was an infant. Of course, I would never say anything about this except once or twice a year or so. Maybe three times.

"If I was to be realllllly nitpicky, I do wish DIL would stop blathering on about my grandchild having a nut allergy. I don't like putting labels on children! And besides, the last time I snuck DGD a piece of peanut brittle, she just vomited for an hour or so...everybody knows it isn't an allergic reaction if you don't stop breathing! It was a major coincidence, and I don't think she should have spoken to me that way about it.

"And if that stupid bitch thinks she can tell me to put a lock on the gate for my pool, she has another thing coming."

-My MIL

That I'm strong, positive and she doesn't understand me.

Anonymous wrote:She would say that I am distant and not interested in being like her family. She would also say that I think I'm better than she and her family are.

She would be right.

Me too. She would also probably say my family gives me money, which is not true. I've earned every dime and it is more than she can comprehend.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is dead...but she'd probably say.

"She's crazy! She comes to visit our house (she lives 8 hour drive away) and she doesn't want to sit in the kitchen the whole time! Sometimes she wants to go out and see things in the nearby city (San Francisco)! Why would she want to do that when she could stay right here in my house for 5 days straight--never even leaving the house! One time my crazy DIL even made my son leave the house to get a cup of coffee at Starbucks! It was crazy! A waste of money and gas. We had coffee right here in the house but she said she just needed to leave for an hour! I don't understand why--they had only been here 3 days straight at the time!"

"My DIL is wasteful. She doesn't keep EVERY SINGLE THING SHE HAS EVER OWNED crammed in a closet or in the garage or just sitting out in the middle of the floor. She has some crazy notion that if you don't need it, you shouldn't buy it. And if you already own it and it no longer fits, no longer is in style, or no longer works--you should donate it or throw it out! Insane. Doesn't she know that you should always keep EVERYTHING?!?!!? Always? Forever?"

"My DIL is an animal hater. She doesn't have 15 or more cats. And 3 horses And 6 goats. And a few sheep. And some birds. And she would never keep a litter box in her pantry. Why not! Nothing wrong with mixing animal feces and food! She's just crazy."

She is dead. Time to let the bitterness go.

+1.

Another dead MIL.

If she was here she'd say I am friendly, easy to get along with, and great for her son. She'd probably say she's thankful one of her sons landed a nice girl.

My MIL was great. Never overstepped her bounds and very easygoing. Liked her about 1000x better than my own mother.

My MIL would probably say something polite because that's what people expect. She, however, acts as if she's the wife a I the other woman she has to tolerate. It's crazy and weird.

She would say that I am distant and not interested in being like her family. She would also say that I think I'm better than she and her family are.

She would be right.

Anonymous wrote:MIL is dead...but she'd probably say.

"She's crazy! She comes to visit our house (she lives 8 hour drive away) and she doesn't want to sit in the kitchen the whole time! Sometimes she wants to go out and see things in the nearby city (San Francisco)! Why would she want to do that when she could stay right here in my house for 5 days straight--never even leaving the house! One time my crazy DIL even made my son leave the house to get a cup of coffee at Starbucks! It was crazy! A waste of money and gas. We had coffee right here in the house but she said she just needed to leave for an hour! I don't understand why--they had only been here 3 days straight at the time!"

"My DIL is wasteful. She doesn't keep EVERY SINGLE THING SHE HAS EVER OWNED crammed in a closet or in the garage or just sitting out in the middle of the floor. She has some crazy notion that if you don't need it, you shouldn't buy it. And if you already own it and it no longer fits, no longer is in style, or no longer works--you should donate it or throw it out! Insane. Doesn't she know that you should always keep EVERYTHING?!?!!? Always? Forever?"

"My DIL is an animal hater. She doesn't have 15 or more cats. And 3 horses And 6 goats. And a few sheep. And some birds. And she would never keep a litter box in her pantry. Why not! Nothing wrong with mixing animal feces and food! She's just crazy."

She is dead. Time to let the bitterness go.

MIL is dead...but she'd probably say.

"She's crazy! She comes to visit our house (she lives 8 hour drive away) and she doesn't want to sit in the kitchen the whole time! Sometimes she wants to go out and see things in the nearby city (San Francisco)! Why would she want to do that when she could stay right here in my house for 5 days straight--never even leaving the house! One time my crazy DIL even made my son leave the house to get a cup of coffee at Starbucks! It was crazy! A waste of money and gas. We had coffee right here in the house but she said she just needed to leave for an hour! I don't understand why--they had only been here 3 days straight at the time!"

"My DIL is wasteful. She doesn't keep EVERY SINGLE THING SHE HAS EVER OWNED crammed in a closet or in the garage or just sitting out in the middle of the floor. She has some crazy notion that if you don't need it, you shouldn't buy it. And if you already own it and it no longer fits, no longer is in style, or no longer works--you should donate it or throw it out! Insane. Doesn't she know that you should always keep EVERYTHING?!?!!? Always? Forever?"

"My DIL is an animal hater. She doesn't have 15 or more cats. And 3 horses And 6 goats. And a few sheep. And some birds. And she would never keep a litter box in her pantry. Why not! Nothing wrong with mixing animal feces and food! She's just crazy."

My MIL would complain that I'm not exactly like her, which is what she wanted for my DH.

Hmm. On one hand, she says we're great parents and can be really supportive and giving. On the other hand, she can't seem to express any negative emotion (i.e., wishing she could see us more often) in any way but through complaining. She complains about every member of her family and extended family, so I guess she'd find some way to complain about us.

She would probably say:

I am very controlling and private, with myself and with my child.

I do not "let" her see her grandchild enough, even though they live halfway across the country and both DH and I work so our vacation time is severely limited.

I am more religious than she is.

I am frugal where she is a spendthrift.

My MIL has already said everything she thinks about me to my face. That she thinks I have brainwashed her son and done all sorts of crazy (untrue) things. At least we have everything out in the open!

I'm 14:19, and I get along fine with my MIL. There's just an unbridgeable cultural chasm. It's no one's fault. We both try hard and keep harmony.