I think it does kind of reflect poorly on you. Even you admit that your unresolved issues are at least as important as the inconvenience of the plan change.

You don't want to go. Fine. It's sort of immature of you to come here and expect validation for your choice to spend a weekend with your 'hubby' at the beach.

But, hey, you got it. Hopefully, you will learn something from this experience, but I'm guessing not.

Anonymous wrote:Are you the same poster whose sister accused you of getting pregnant on purpose just to steal the spotlight? I remember that!

Sigh... Unfortunately!

My DH helped back me up- I'm out! Of course they'll somehow make this reflect poorly on me- but whatever. I guess I just hate backing out of things at the last minute.

Thanks for the support, everyone!

This is so easy: "I'm sorry but the change to another city really doesn't work for me -- I will be X months pregnant at the time of the party and the added Y hours of travel on trains and cars is going to be difficult for this pregnant lady." (If needed, insert "My doctor said..." here.) "I've already got a great gift on its way to you. I know you're going to have a great time in City X!"
And then drop it.

Do not, do not, do not bring up any of the past stuff you mentioned (she didn't talk to your bridesmaids? So very not an issue.). If you mention it at all, THAT will be what she remembers: "My SIL bailed on my party because of dumb stuff about HER wedding ages ago!" and so on. And yes, you are right that it is petty stuff. Just make it solely about the fact the change of city doesn't work for you (hard to travel when so pregnant, costs, time, etc.) and don't let her guilt you. Do not rise to any bait or confirm if she tries the "If you wanted to be there you would manage it!" routine. Do not even respond, just say again, "I know you're going to have a blast and I'll be thinkiing of you."

As for your other issues with her -- really, they do sound petty on both your parts (is she the SIL who said you got pregnant to steal attention from her?). You and she both need to just chill. If she is living elsewhere, be glad for the distance.

For what it's worth, this party does sound weirdly excessive -- travel and more travel and oh, yes, let's change to a different CITY?

Are you the same poster whose sister accused you of getting pregnant on purpose just to steal the spotlight? I remember that!

"You don't want to go. You won't have fun, you'll waste your time and money, and you'll be the tired non drinking stick in the mud "

+

You've got major unresolved issues with your SIL. But I think the city change gives you an opportunity not to go to the party.

Don't go. Even if its for petty reasons, it doesn't matter. You don't want to go. You won't have fun, you'll waste your time and money, and you'll be the tired non drinking stick in the mud guest. I say that with love...that's why I didn't go to my sil's this weekend even though I'm a bridesmaid. If you want to celebrate with her another time, take her out for tea or a pedicure.