I opened this thinking that it might be discussing how old to keep hold hands. It is still non-negotiable for my almost six-year-old, but some of her friends are allowed to cross alone. I'm wondering if i should start being more lax. Letting an 18 monther cross without holding hands is absolutely insane!!!!

At that age, either hold hands, be in stroller or get picked up. Geez at 18 months, he wasn't a great walker and could have fallen. Drivers around here would probably just run a kid over, rather than wait. I learned to hold my son's had so that part of my hand was holding his and part of my hand was sort of wrapped around his wrist, so he couldn't get away.

Now at age 6, I only make him hold my hand if it is getting dark, its a really busy street or he is acting irrational (overly tired, over excited, clearly not thinking). But for the most part he can cross himself, but still has to wait for an adult to give him the go ahead. He knows to look both ways, but he doesn't always do a great job of it.

At some point in between I followed the advice on here and let him hold onto something. I still make him do somthing to stay close in parking lots. My main concern is some cars can't see him. So if he is near me, at least they see me.

Anonymous wrote:It's a safety rule. You can hold hands or be carried, your choice. They will learn to hold hands.

This. I do lets 4 yo walk without holding hands if I don't have a free hand, but he still has to hold my jacket, bag, etc and walk RIGHT next to me. The 2.5 yo must hold hands or be carried. Drivers are crazy around here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Wow. I am so confused by all you militant hand-holders. I have a runner and even with that don't insist on hand-holding all the time.

What are you confused by? Toddlers and children are short and some drivers might not see them if they dart out into the street. So when my child is walking on the street or in a parking lot where cars could drive by, he holds my hand. Period. On the sidewalk he is allowed to walk by himself as long as he stays near me.

The point is darting int eh street. By 6, a child really should have mastered this. Take my kindergarten walking trip example above: if a child is always forced to hold a hand and never practices independently looking both ways and how to cross, how would that child be able to manage on a walking trip like that

6 is much different than OP's 18 month old and the other toddler parents posting. I might reflexively reach for a 6yo's hand, but I would expect they could evaluate a crossing and do it alone. A toddler? No way, no how. There are a lot of shitty, distracted drivers and that quick text check or fumble for the phone could be the moment my 2yo makes a dash. Could still happen with me right there, but there is a better chance of seeing me than him alone.

Anonymous wrote:Non negotiable crossing the street and in parking lots.

Don't be that parent like one two weeks ago. Such a sad story on the news and my heart goes out to that mom. What a sad life changer. Kids dart out in the street and it's totally unexpected. Err on the side of safety. Please!

We just stand close and are sure we can make contact with DD's hand, head, jacket, backpack, etc., when crossing the street. She's 3.5 and knows that she needs to stay near one of us because cars can't always see her. Same deal in parking lots. Totally optional on sidewalk, which means we almost never do it.

Anonymous wrote:

Wow. I am so confused by all you militant hand-holders. I have a runner and even with that don't insist on hand-holding all the time.

What are you confused by? Toddlers and children are short and some drivers might not see them if they dart out into the street. So when my child is walking on the street or in a parking lot where cars could drive by, he holds my hand. Period. On the sidewalk he is allowed to walk by himself as long as he stays near me.

The point is darting int eh street. By 6, a child really should have mastered this. Take my kindergarten walking trip example above: if a child is always forced to hold a hand and never practices independently looking both ways and how to cross, how would that child be able to manage on a walking trip like that

Wow. I am so confused by all you militant hand-holders. I have a runner and even with that don't insist on hand-holding all the time.

What are you confused by? Toddlers and children are short and some drivers might not see them if they dart out into the street. So when my child is walking on the street or in a parking lot where cars could drive by, he holds my hand. Period. On the sidewalk he is allowed to walk by himself as long as he stays near me.

Wow. I am so confused by all you militant hand-holders. I have a runner and even with that don't insist on hand-holding all the time.

15 months, three years, that I can see. But a 6+ year old still needing to hold hands? I have to assume your children have impulse control issues?

We just took a kindergarten class on a walking field trip and not one kid held an adult's hand when we crossed a street or were street adjacent.

A six year old really needs to be able to walk across the street without holding hands.

Anonymous wrote:It's non-negotiable for us (DC is 3). Just keep doing what you're doing and your kid will get the hint. 1.5 is young to expect him to fully understand.

We live downtown, it's non-negotiable right now at 3.5. She walks on the sidewalk and no longer has to holdhands, but the street it is the rule. Otherwise she "gets picked up like a baby in diapers" which makes her very upset.

I still hold my six year old's hand a lot of the time, particularly in parking lots. If I'm not holding his hand, he has to be standing right beside me.

I still insist, and DD is 4-1/2. If my hands are full then she holds onto my shirt or my bag. It's non-negotiable for us.

Anonymous wrote:How strict are you about holding your child's hand when he/she crosses the street with you? How do you teach them to do so? Our son immediately yanks his hand out of ours when we get outside and if we grab it again he lays down and yells, no matter if he's on the sidewalk or in the street. We pick him up when that happens, but that doesn't exactly teach him that there are consequences -- he's just as happy to be carried as to walk on his own. Any suggestions?

He's 1.5 years, if that helps.

6.5 years old. Still non negotiable and it will remain that way (plus I like to hold his hand)!

Non-negotiable, if he scream and kicks or runs, pick him up and carry him until he gets the message.