I just got a job while visibly pregnant. Before they offered to fly me out I explained this, offered up my childcare plans, reiterated my value adds, and also threw in that 6-12 weeks off in the longterm scheme of things (and how infrequently they need to hire) was peanuts!

So good luck, don't doubt anything.

I am in HR. Under no circumstances would I reveal whether I am married, or have children, in a job interview.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Devil's advocate here. If you are 30 and don't wear any rings what is to make someone wonder if you aren't going to walk in a week later with an engagement ring and suddenly be off on a honeymoon and then instantly get pregnant in the first year? Couldn't that happen just as easily as a woman who is 30 has been married for 4 years and decided she doesn't want kids?

In theory it could BUT, I think DC metro is one of the toughest dating areas around ... maybe NY is tougher. The sort of spontaneous, by the seat of your pants, whirlwind courtship I think is atypical. Not to say it couldn't happen, but I think it is rare.

But how do they know that someone who isn't wearing a ring today hasn't been dating someone for 4 years and isn't on the verge of bring engaged?

More likely but then you may have 1-2 years for the wedding then another 1-2 years before kids unless you are on the fast track and starting this mid-late 30's. Now that I think about it at one job I did get engaged about six months in. But from there to 1st child was 4 years. I came back from maternity leave and worked another 3 years at that job. Funny enough that was the job I stayed at the longest.

When I was applying for academic jobs, I did take my ring off for one or two interviews because I knew that my husband and I would most likely not find jobs in the same area and we would be commuting between different cities, maybe even different coasts. Small liberal arts schools don't want faculty who may not be there 24/7 or who might leave for another job closer to their spouse.

I don't wear my engagement ring ever really. It's beautiful but it is attention drawing. I do wear a very thin, simple wedding band, however. No one ever even seems to notice it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Devil's advocate here. If you are 30 and don't wear any rings what is to make someone wonder if you aren't going to walk in a week later with an engagement ring and suddenly be off on a honeymoon and then instantly get pregnant in the first year? Couldn't that happen just as easily as a woman who is 30 has been married for 4 years and decided she doesn't want kids?

In theory it could BUT, I think DC metro is one of the toughest dating areas around ... maybe NY is tougher. The sort of spontaneous, by the seat of your pants, whirlwind courtship I think is atypical. Not to say it couldn't happen, but I think it is rare.

But how do they know that someone who isn't wearing a ring today hasn't been dating someone for 4 years and isn't on the verge of bring engaged?

Anonymous wrote:Devil's advocate here. If you are 30 and don't wear any rings what is to make someone wonder if you aren't going to walk in a week later with an engagement ring and suddenly be off on a honeymoon and then instantly get pregnant in the first year? Couldn't that happen just as easily as a woman who is 30 has been married for 4 years and decided she doesn't want kids?

In theory it could BUT, I think DC metro is one of the toughest dating areas around ... maybe NY is tougher. The sort of spontaneous, by the seat of your pants, whirlwind courtship I think is atypical. Not to say it couldn't happen, but I think it is rare.

Devil's advocate here. If you are 30 and don't wear any rings what is to make someone wonder if you aren't going to walk in a week later with an engagement ring and suddenly be off on a honeymoon and then instantly get pregnant in the first year? Couldn't that happen just as easily as a woman who is 30 has been married for 4 years and decided she doesn't want kids?

I once had an old male interviewer ask if I was married, and when I said no, he said good. When I complained about this to my boss at the time (a judge who knew I was interviewing bc it was a clerkship), he said, "if you were married or engaged right now, I would tell u, don't wear yr rings to yr interview, and don't change yr last name."

Personally, I think this is ridiculous. I am a lawyer and this issue has never crossed my mind, nor anyone's mind that I know. I've never even looked at anyone's hand to see if they are wearing a ring or not.

I didn't wear my engagement ring to the interviews for current job. I just was like "surprise, I'm engaged" when I walked in for my first day of work. They can't make hiring decisions based on my marital status so I'm not going to advertise it. Plus I work for a human rights conscious organization and didn't want to flash my big diamond at them.

i didn't wear my rings to my interviews when i was 27 and applying for my first job out of law school. i didn't want people to assume i would be going out on maternity leave in the next few years. i was applying for government jobs, not law firm jobs. but i assume the suble/unconsious bias still exists. i got my dream job -- so i don't know if it helped but it certainly didn't hurt.

Anonymous wrote:If you are younger and wearing a ring Just be sure to explain you are done having kids.

this issue shouldn't even come up in a job interview. Your personal life is no ones business if you don't want it to be, especially if you're not yet an employee there.

I wouldn't wear an engagement ring just because I wouldn't want to draw attention to the "she'll spend all day wedding planning" thing, but even without it on, an interviewer shouldn't assume anything especially in a city where many women are married older and/or have children older. Or are in same sex marriages.