Anonymous
Post 05/09/2013 06:19     Subject: Tell me about your wonderful little girl who is now a grouchy tween....
There can definitely be queen bee's in sports. I have seeing it live in DD's team. One child is working to isolating my DD. And largely using the game as the means. For example, teller her DD is the reason the team can not win a game. The coach is trying to deal with the situation. But, much of the actions occur when he is not present. My DD is ready to quit the sport.

In Sports the queen bee is nice to the coach, and is only mean when authority figures are out of earshot.

Ideally, they get a violent reaction out of the other kid.

Boys are easier. They just beat each other up, and it is done.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2013 23:36     Subject: Tell me about your wonderful little girl who is now a grouchy tween....
What if my 5 yo is already rolling her eyes and acting put upon now? And she's over emotional and dramatic. . .ugh. Can't WAIT until she's 14.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2013 23:28     Subject: Tell me about your wonderful little girl who is now a grouchy tween....
Anonymous wrote:So, is the reverse true? If my 9 yr old DD has always been a bit difficult and grouchy, will she be nicer and sweeter as she goes thru puberty? I keep hoping so! We love her dearly but she puts her family through the ringer at times!!!


They get worse
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2013 21:51     Subject: Tell me about your wonderful little girl who is now a grouchy tween....
Anonymous wrote:So, is the reverse true? If my 9 yr old DD has always been a bit difficult and grouchy, will she be nicer and sweeter as she goes thru puberty? I keep hoping so! We love her dearly but she puts her family through the ringer at times!!!


I could've written this!
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2013 15:51     Subject: Tell me about your wonderful little girl who is now a grouchy tween....
So, is the reverse true? If my 9 yr old DD has always been a bit difficult and grouchy, will she be nicer and sweeter as she goes thru puberty? I keep hoping so! We love her dearly but she puts her family through the ringer at times!!!
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2013 15:21     Subject: Re:Tell me about your wonderful little girl who is now a grouchy tween....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm 6:44, the poster with the 10th-grade DD, -- My gut tells me that girls who participate in sports are less likely to get in to the mean girl stuff, yes, but they're still going to sass Mom and Dad. OTOH, my sons maintain that girls who are into sports can be Queen Bees too, and their perspective might be more accurate than mine.



Sports are filled with mean girls until they get weeded out in high school. When you actually need to have talent to play. Then they all end up as cheerleaders.


LOL
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2013 14:23     Subject: Tell me about your wonderful little girl who is now a grouchy tween....
I have three young daughters. I'm getting nervous for those tween years.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2013 14:17     Subject: Re:Tell me about your wonderful little girl who is now a grouchy tween....
If I "lost" my cheery DD at 14 to grouchy, will she come back after a year or so? Please tell me this is a phase...
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2013 14:10     Subject: Re:Tell me about your wonderful little girl who is now a grouchy tween....
Anonymous wrote:I'm 6:44, the poster with the 10th-grade DD, -- My gut tells me that girls who participate in sports are less likely to get in to the mean girl stuff, yes, but they're still going to sass Mom and Dad. OTOH, my sons maintain that girls who are into sports can be Queen Bees too, and their perspective might be more accurate than mine.



Sports are filled with mean girls until they get weeded out in high school. When you actually need to have talent to play. Then they all end up as cheerleaders.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2013 12:58     Subject: Re:Tell me about your wonderful little girl who is now a grouchy tween....
I'm 6:44, the poster with the 10th-grade DD, -- My gut tells me that girls who participate in sports are less likely to get in to the mean girl stuff, yes, but they're still going to sass Mom and Dad. OTOH, my sons maintain that girls who are into sports can be Queen Bees too, and their perspective might be more accurate than mine.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2013 07:56     Subject: Re:Tell me about your wonderful little girl who is now a grouchy tween....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do some reach it later? I have a 12yr old 6th grader who I am still close with. She gives me an occasional eye roll but the majority of the time she is pleasant. She goes to an all girl school and is not interested in boys, makeup, clothes, shopping or anything "teenish". She is into sports, her friends, playing with her younger sisters and still likes hanging out with me. I keep hearing horror stories from some parents and am very nervous. We are so close. It must be so hard to let them go and wait for them to come back to "normal". Lol



My DD, a 10th-grader, was like this in 6th. I think she wasn't as bad as some girls get (and probably not as awful as I was to my own mom), but in 7th and 8th we did see eye-rolling and sighs (as in "Oh, God, Mom, how can you be so lame?") and a put-upon attitude when asked to pitchin around the house and random rudeness (interestingly, DH, who has no sisters, was more upset by this behavior on the part of his little princess.) She was pretty much over this by 9th and is now really a pleasure again. She's very athletic, still loves sports and has managed (artfully) to steer clear of the mean girl drama at school. She also loves clothes and makeup, but she's so busy with sports and other activities that she doesn't spend hours at the mall like some other girls.

BTW, we have 2 older sons and they were total pains all the way through 9th grade -- stubborn, defiant, sure that they knew everything and we knew nothing, etc. They started coming around in 10th and are now, like their sister, delightful. It's part of being a teen.


Wait, us Moms are lame????

I guess I do get some of the helping around the house attitude already. She was always a tomboy growing up (did not like the "pink" aisle in toy stores) so even if she wasn't in sports, I don't think I would see an increase in her controlling her appearance much. Brushing her hair, teeth and washing face and deodorant is all she will do and sometimes has to be reminded. But sports does help girls realize they can be strong and not just a pretty face. Teams help knock them down any pedestal they might be on too.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2013 06:51     Subject: Re:Tell me about your wonderful little girl who is now a grouchy tween....
Anonymous wrote:Do some reach it later? I have a 12yr old 6th grader who I am still close with. She gives me an occasional eye roll but the majority of the time she is pleasant. She goes to an all girl school and is not interested in boys, makeup, clothes, shopping or anything "teenish". She is into sports, her friends, playing with her younger sisters and still likes hanging out with me. I keep hearing horror stories from some parents and am very nervous. We are so close. It must be so hard to let them go and wait for them to come back to "normal". Lol




Theory: Getting them into sports actually cuts down on some of the attitude. At least I hope so.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2013 06:44     Subject: Re:Tell me about your wonderful little girl who is now a grouchy tween....
Anonymous wrote:Do some reach it later? I have a 12yr old 6th grader who I am still close with. She gives me an occasional eye roll but the majority of the time she is pleasant. She goes to an all girl school and is not interested in boys, makeup, clothes, shopping or anything "teenish". She is into sports, her friends, playing with her younger sisters and still likes hanging out with me. I keep hearing horror stories from some parents and am very nervous. We are so close. It must be so hard to let them go and wait for them to come back to "normal". Lol



My DD, a 10th-grader, was like this in 6th. I think she wasn't as bad as some girls get (and probably not as awful as I was to my own mom), but in 7th and 8th we did see eye-rolling and sighs (as in "Oh, God, Mom, how can you be so lame?") and a put-upon attitude when asked to pitchin around the house and random rudeness (interestingly, DH, who has no sisters, was more upset by this behavior on the part of his little princess.) She was pretty much over this by 9th and is now really a pleasure again. She's very athletic, still loves sports and has managed (artfully) to steer clear of the mean girl drama at school. She also loves clothes and makeup, but she's so busy with sports and other activities that she doesn't spend hours at the mall like some other girls.

BTW, we have 2 older sons and they were total pains all the way through 9th grade -- stubborn, defiant, sure that they knew everything and we knew nothing, etc. They started coming around in 10th and are now, like their sister, delightful. It's part of being a teen.
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2013 09:46     Subject: Re:Tell me about your wonderful little girl who is now a grouchy tween....
Do some reach it later? I have a 12yr old 6th grader who I am still close with. She gives me an occasional eye roll but the majority of the time she is pleasant. She goes to an all girl school and is not interested in boys, makeup, clothes, shopping or anything "teenish". She is into sports, her friends, playing with her younger sisters and still likes hanging out with me. I keep hearing horror stories from some parents and am very nervous. We are so close. It must be so hard to let them go and wait for them to come back to "normal". Lol

Anonymous
Post 05/07/2013 09:39     Subject: Tell me about your wonderful little girl who is now a grouchy tween....
Anonymous wrote:DD was boy crazy, actually a slut, as a teen. She is now a kind, caring woman and we are very close. She lives across the lane from me in the same TH complex.


WTH? Yikes.