Anonymous wrote:When I read these threads about big law, in some ways I am jealous. I don't think I would prefer that level of work-like balance, but to stay in something with that level of time commitment, I can't imagine what its like to really like or love your profession that much, its impressive and I wonder if I'll ever feel that kind of calling to a profession.

Honestly I wouldn't assume they all like or love their jobs that much.

I am a lawyer and I like my job but I hated being a big firm lawyer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I read these threads about big law, in some ways I am jealous. I don't think I would prefer that level of work-like balance, but to stay in something with that level of time commitment, I can't imagine what its like to really like or love your profession that much, its impressive and I wonder if I'll ever feel that kind of calling to a profession.

I really love my job, despite the fact that it isn't high paying. I used to be a lawyer and never felt that sort of love or passion for what I did. When I went back to school and changed careers to psychologist I remember thinking the work was so fulfilling and interesting that I'd do it for free.

But let's be real, making money is nice. It just isn't everything.

Anonymous wrote:When I read these threads about big law, in some ways I am jealous. I don't think I would prefer that level of work-like balance, but to stay in something with that level of time commitment, I can't imagine what its like to really like or love your profession that much, its impressive and I wonder if I'll ever feel that kind of calling to a profession.

I really love my job, despite the fact that it isn't high paying. I used to be a lawyer and never felt that sort of love or passion for what I did. When I went back to school and changed careers to psychologist I remember thinking the work was so fulfilling and interesting that I'd do it for free.

OP--it depends on what you mean by "better." If you mean fewer hours, surely not, at least not a first. As others have noted, a big change is the need to develop business which in BigLaw usually means travel.

But the people I know who left BigLaw for government generally feel that they're working the same jobs, with less support, for a quarter of the money. So there aren't a lot of panaceas. Either way, if he's thinking of leaving, I'd wait out the two years to get across the line (if he's really a shoe-in). The world of in-house (often, not always, more family friendly) is MUCH more open to people with a P after their names.

When I read these threads about big law, in some ways I am jealous. I don't think I would prefer that level of work-like balance, but to stay in something with that level of time commitment, I can't imagine what its like to really like or love your profession that much, its impressive and I wonder if I'll ever feel that kind of calling to a profession.

Anonymous wrote:Can I say this all sounds just miserable? I pity lawyers who think this is any kind of life. I'll take my measly 70k/yr job any day. At least when I'm not at work my time is my own to spend as I wish.

Why anyone would want to be a lawyer, or be married to one, is baffling to me. Sounds like hell. What is the point of making all that money if you don't have time to enjoy it? I guess some people prefer to spend time working? I can't relate.

But I don't pity them. They chose it.

Boohoo

Its not worth it.

Can I say this all sounds just miserable? I pity lawyers who think this is any kind of life. I'll take my measly 70k/yr job any day. At least when I'm not at work my time is my own to spend as I wish.

not really, in my limited experience (i ended up in gov't practice, a decision with which i am immensely pleased). but, depending on the firm, practice area, etc, it seems you usually do get more control about where and when you put in those hours. so, i have a lot of biglaw friends, a few of whom made partner, who are relatively senior now. they tell me they put in a reasonable amount of facetime to manage associates, see clients, attend meetings during the day but are at the office no more than 8-9 hours a day on weekdays, and very little on weekends. But they work like mad from home while kiddies are sleeping, staying up to work/bill at least 5 hours every weeknight after the kiddies are in bed. And putting in a lot of weekend hours too. So, they sleep 5 hours a night but get to spend more time with their families than they did as associates. No idea if this is really a generalized thing, but it's what I'm hearing from my senior associate and partner friends these days. It could just be the evolution of firms in general to supporting more telecommuting, etc.
also, whether they have stay-at-home spouses or not, they SPEND to make it easier. What the hell is the point of making so much money if you don't spend it to make life easier. Housekeeping service, dry-cleaning service, grocery delivery, parttime nanny when their are multiple kids, the works. Since working spouse isn't at home to help with much of anything, they pay for all the drudgery so as to maximize the quality time.

Anonymous wrote:My husband referred to making partner at a big firm as "winning a shit-eating contest where the prize is more shit."

+1

This is a common phrase.

Interesting replies. I know a new partner who confided that he was making less than he did as a senior associate and his hours were horrible. Imagine regular billing + the expectation of business development (successful BD I might add). So he must have been around 300k. Personally, I don't think too many partners are at the 800-1million level, but I can't be sure. I'm just basing that on my observations about their lifestyles and how they complain about money.

Also, unless your DH has a portable book don't assume anything - especially that he is safe once he makes/if he makes partner.

My husband referred to making partner at a big firm as "winning a shit-eating contest where the prize is more shit."

No, it does not get better. I left. Life is too short. Once you make partner the non-billable crap that the more senior partners don't want to do gets piled on the new partners. And no one has a secure partnership anymore so there is never-ending stress about being "pushed out", especially if you are a woman and don't have your own portfolio. You have to be a serious rainmaker to survive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on the practice and your DH. My DH works some each weekend but sees the kids for bedtime every night and is always there for breakfast. He makes 800K but would make over a million if he worked longer hours. I'm not complaining. He's made the right choice there.

Wow. What time does he go in every morning? What is he billing annually?

NP here. I don't think the PP's husband's schedule sounds unusual. My DH is home by 8:00 pm every night, which is when we do bedtime, so he is there to help with pjs and bedtime stories. We also have breakfast together every day because big law starts a little later than some professions and he has a short commute (20 min). The kids get up at 6:30, so he has several hours with them. This will change when the kids go to school because of their early mornings not his. He probably leaves the house between 8:45 and 9:00. He does work from home some on both weekend days, but never the whole day, and he does travel a few times a month. OP, I don't know what your DH is working now, so I don't know if this would be better or worse than what you currently have. DH always hits his numbers for billing and leverage and makes about 1.1m. He is a third year partner.