We are doing our first weekend away from baby trip at 18 months. We both have had weekends where we've been away, but never both of us at the same time.

I probably would have as early as 14 months, but only because she was weaned. If she was FF, it probably still wouldn't have been that early. Maybe at 6 months or so... But only with my mom.

Remember this, mothers of sons. When you DIL is being "unreasonable" about something.

My MIL tried BS like this when our child was born. At first I tried to be polite about it and when she pushed me, I pushed back. I have posted about my methods here before. I am the one who makes everything happen so I simply did not plan for us to spend any time with her when she pissed me off. And if my husband mentioned that we had not seen his mom lately, I politely and cheerfully (and that is the key) agreed with him Like, "Really? Huh. You are absolutely right!" Said cheerfully and brightly. And then back to what I was doing. No arguments. No confrontations. If he wanted to make the plans, he could do so. The one time he did make plans with her, I had a meeting so he had to deal with the baby, his mother, her dog, etc. His mother had invited over all of her rheumy friends who passed around the baby without washing their hands and were touching her face and hands -- big no nos for him, not really for me. When he protested his mother did not respect his authority as the dad and that upset him a great deal. So when he came back he was 100% in my camp. My MIL learned a solid lesson and is MUCH more respectful of our parenting.

My son has three great grandmothers. I had him when I was 28. My mom was 34 when she had me. And PP, we're from New York. Big enough city for you?

Not everyone has kids in their 40s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my daughter was little, the first time I left her with my mom was at 6 months.

As a grandmother, I have had my grandkids sleep over starting very young. And then I traveled with them too, to take them to visit their great grandparents. The older child's first visit out of state was when she was 4 months old, and the younger child's first out of state visit was when he was about 6 months old. Both did fine and travel with me all the time to see their great grandparents and their mom has no issue whatsoever with allowing me to take either child, whether together or separately

Wow, you must have been a young mother. Your children must also be young parents. I don't know very many people who actually have greats anymore.

The young ages of parenting may play a role in this for you and yours. Honestly, it sounds sweet and kind of old fashioned. I don't know anyone IRL who would allow the access and traveling that you describe having with your grandchildren. Not in this day and age and not in a large city.

+1. I don't know anyone with a great grandparent.

Anonymous wrote:When my daughter was little, the first time I left her with my mom was at 6 months.

As a grandmother, I have had my grandkids sleep over starting very young. And then I traveled with them too, to take them to visit their great grandparents. The older child's first visit out of state was when she was 4 months old, and the younger child's first out of state visit was when he was about 6 months old. Both did fine and travel with me all the time to see their great grandparents and their mom has no issue whatsoever with allowing me to take either child, whether together or separately

Wow, you must have been a young mother. Your children must also be young parents. I don't know very many people who actually have greats anymore.

The young ages of parenting may play a role in this for you and yours. Honestly, it sounds sweet and kind of old fashioned. I don't know anyone IRL who would allow the access and traveling that you describe having with your grandchildren. Not in this day and age and not in a large city.

i think that is very young for a weekend. clearly, you do as well! listen to your instincts - you know whats best for you and your dc. when you decide to leave him make sure its when you decided not when someone tried to coerce you into it.

fwiw, my mom made a sort of fuss over overnight visits with my sisters dd (the first grandchild) it didnt take long for that excitement to wear off. i think grandparents forget that those overnights are not quite how they remember them all these years later!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is out of his mind. No f-ing way would anyone sane EVER let a six week old baby spend the night, much less the weekend, with a grandmother unless it were an emergency. That is absolutely and utterly absurd. Aren't you nursing him in the middle of the night anyway? He is an infant for God's sake.

I agree with the 6 years old actually. Your MIL can babysit if you go out to dinner or for an afternoon but, until he is comfortable sleeping away from mommy and daddy, she does not get to demand anything.

As for you MIL saying you are "hogging" the baby - he is YOUR BABY! You can't hog your own baby. She sounds like a controlling interfering bitch quite honestly.

I am sure you an tell I am outraged by your MIL's attitude and even more so by how stupid and unsupportive our husband is. Sounds like you are in for some huge boundary issues OP. mi wish you luck and the best thing to do now is stand firm.

Thanks! I'm going to stand firm. I just hate that this is causing conflict between DH and I.

PP here. Sorry for my typos in that last paragraph. I just can see what is coming down the path for your OP and it is unpleasant to say the least. My MIL is like this in many ways. Clearly that accounts for my outrage to some extent. However, your husband has to, has to, support YOU. You are his wife, the mother of his child, and the only person whose opinion he should give weight to here. The fact that he is siding with his own mother, over you, is very troubling. He needs to realize that you are the mother now and you know best. If you do not make this very very clear to him, and him to his own mother, NOW, it will just escalate and become an enormous struggle for you and your marriage.

Thank God for me, my husband figured out very early where his loyalties should lay, with his wife. My MIL still lIkes to try and get her way but I know that DH supports me.

It's hard getting his support when it comes to his mom. He's such a mama's boy.

I get it. DH is an only child and his parents divorced when he was 4. He was very close to her growing up and is still very attached to her, more than other men his age. Still, he figured out that having a close trusting relationship with me was more imprint than pleasing his mom. My MIL really tried to take over so many things from me but I stood my ground. Our kids are now older (9 and 12) and it is funny, they like her ( my MIL) but they also she is. They have little interest in spending the night with her because they know everything will be done her way and they are just kind of there for her to show off.

When my daughter was little, the first time I left her with my mom was at 6 months.

As a grandmother, I have had my grandkids sleep over starting very young. And then I traveled with them too, to take them to visit their great grandparents. The older child's first visit out of state was when she was 4 months old, and the younger child's first out of state visit was when he was about 6 months old. Both did fine and travel with me all the time to see their great grandparents and their mom has no issue whatsoever with allowing me to take either child, whether together or separately

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Explain he's too young right now, and you'll reconsider when he's older. I doubt she wants to handle overnight wakings anyway (and if she did, how would she handle it? Parenting knowledge and approaches are much different now then when she was raising kids)

We allowed overnights with grandparents starting when they were toddlers.

LOL we grandmothers are much wiser than the parents today. Sorry. I laugh at what some parents do with their kids, a lot of it, not normal.

I have to agree with this. Dear God we all survived! My mother knows exactly what to do with an infant. BUT, that said, I would never send my infant to MIL for the weekend. It's absurd to even suggest it. She needs to back the hell up. If you can stand it, to appease her, can she come stay with you for the night or weekend?

My ex and i split up while I was pregnant. He started taking our daughter for overnights at six weeks. I was nervous at first, but it was nice to have the break, to be honest. I couldn't breast-feed, so he was able to feed her just as well as I was.

Can your MIL come and stay with you for a weekend? then you can be around, she can have some time with her grandchild, but you'll still be around and not as nervous. (and not 100% missing out.) i do think it would be nice to get a sleep break, but my guess is that she will not want to wake up every 2 hours at her age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Explain he's too young right now, and you'll reconsider when he's older. I doubt she wants to handle overnight wakings anyway (and if she did, how would she handle it? Parenting knowledge and approaches are much different now then when she was raising kids)

We allowed overnights with grandparents starting when they were toddlers.

LOL we grandmothers are much wiser than the parents today. Sorry. I laugh at what some parents do with their kids, a lot of it, not normal.

Much, like, your, punctiation.

Anonymous wrote:Explain he's too young right now, and you'll reconsider when he's older. I doubt she wants to handle overnight wakings anyway (and if she did, how would she handle it? Parenting knowledge and approaches are much different now then when she was raising kids)

We allowed overnights with grandparents starting when they were toddlers.

LOL we grandmothers are much wiser than the parents today. Sorry. I laugh at what some parents do with their kids, a lot of it, not normal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is out of his mind. No f-ing way would anyone sane EVER let a six week old baby spend the night, much less the weekend, with a grandmother unless it were an emergency. That is absolutely and utterly absurd. Aren't you nursing him in the middle of the night anyway? He is an infant for God's sake.

I agree with the 6 years old actually. Your MIL can babysit if you go out to dinner or for an afternoon but, until he is comfortable sleeping away from mommy and daddy, she does not get to demand anything.

As for you MIL saying you are "hogging" the baby - he is YOUR BABY! You can't hog your own baby. She sounds like a controlling interfering bitch quite honestly.

I am sure you an tell I am outraged by your MIL's attitude and even more so by how stupid and unsupportive our husband is. Sounds like you are in for some huge boundary issues OP. mi wish you luck and the best thing to do now is stand firm.

Thanks! I'm going to stand firm. I just hate that this is causing conflict between DH and I.

PP here. Sorry for my typos in that last paragraph. I just can see what is coming down the path for your OP and it is unpleasant to say the least. My MIL is like this in many ways. Clearly that accounts for my outrage to some extent. However, your husband has to, has to, support YOU. You are his wife, the mother of his child, and the only person whose opinion he should give weight to here. The fact that he is siding with his own mother, over you, is very troubling. He needs to realize that you are the mother now and you know best. If you do not make this very very clear to him, and him to his own mother, NOW, it will just escalate and become an enormous struggle for you and your marriage.

Thank God for me, my husband figured out very early where his loyalties should lay, with his wife. My MIL still lIkes to try and get her way but I know that DH supports me.

It's hard getting his support when it comes to his mom. He's such a mama's boy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is out of his mind. No f-ing way would anyone sane EVER let a six week old baby spend the night, much less the weekend, with a grandmother unless it were an emergency. That is absolutely and utterly absurd. Aren't you nursing him in the middle of the night anyway? He is an infant for God's sake.

I agree with the 6 years old actually. Your MIL can babysit if you go out to dinner or for an afternoon but, until he is comfortable sleeping away from mommy and daddy, she does not get to demand anything.

As for you MIL saying you are "hogging" the baby - he is YOUR BABY! You can't hog your own baby. She sounds like a controlling interfering bitch quite honestly.

I am sure you an tell I am outraged by your MIL's attitude and even more so by how stupid and unsupportive our husband is. Sounds like you are in for some huge boundary issues OP. mi wish you luck and the best thing to do now is stand firm.

Thanks! I'm going to stand firm. I just hate that this is causing conflict between DH and I.

PP here. Sorry for my typos in that last paragraph. I just can see what is coming down the path for your OP and it is unpleasant to say the least. My MIL is like this in many ways. Clearly that accounts for my outrage to some extent. However, your husband has to, has to, support YOU. You are his wife, the mother of his child, and the only person whose opinion he should give weight to here. The fact that he is siding with his own mother, over you, is very troubling. He needs to realize that you are the mother now and you know best. If you do not make this very very clear to him, and him to his own mother, NOW, it will just escalate and become an enormous struggle for you and your marriage.

Thank God for me, my husband figured out very early where his loyalties should lay, with his wife. My MIL still lIkes to try and get her way but I know that DH supports me.

I would say 6 months.