As a mom of a sweet nerd I want you to know, it's OK not to invite everyone. He actually doesn't like most birthday parties and we get invited to more than he wants to attend. I hate turning them down when we don't have a valid excuse. Just please tell your kids not to talk about it at school because that will make him sad. He may not be Mr. popular, but he always forms close friendships and those kids invite him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When do you start?

OP here. I currently have 2 boys in preschool. About 70% of the kids have parties where the entire class is invited. We usually have about 1 classmate party per week at a bouncy house, My Gym, Chuck E Cheese, etc.

Ugh. That sounds like torture. OP, just because 70% of kids are doing it does not mean you have to join in the madness. Just say no.

We're starting preschool next year. I have this to look forward to? Oh, good lord.

If you don't want to go, why not just decline? Why judge other people for inviting you?

Oh yeah, we want to be *those* people.

In my kid's class, I think there are 3 types of families.

1. Attends every school event and every party
2. Attends some school events and some parties
3. Never attends anything

Anonymous wrote:We've never invited the class. When son was old enough to care, he chose two buddies to come over, neither of whom were from his school.

You guys don't seem like popular people.

We've never invited the class. When son was old enough to care, he chose two buddies to come over, neither of whom were from his school.

Before birth! Never did it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When do you start?

OP here. I currently have 2 boys in preschool. About 70% of the kids have parties where the entire class is invited. We usually have about 1 classmate party per week at a bouncy house, My Gym, Chuck E Cheese, etc.

Ugh. That sounds like torture. OP, just because 70% of kids are doing it does not mean you have to join in the madness. Just say no.

We're starting preschool next year. I have this to look forward to? Oh, good lord.

If you don't want to go, why not just decline? Why judge other people for inviting you?

Oh yeah, we want to be *those* people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my son starts kindergarten next year, we will probably invite the entire class. After that, maybe just the boys.

That's an odd way to narrow it down, no?

Not the PP you're quoting, but I would say it's a traditional way to do it, but a way that is probably outmoded. From my own small sample set, changing gender norms seem to have trickled down such that boys and girls don't segregate themselves at young ages like they did when I was a kid. When I was in elementary school, a teacher could bring about silence just make us sit boy-girl-boy-girl (by middle school, not so much). My sense is that this tactic wouldn't work these days. But I don't have a study or anything to back that up.

I grew up in the seventies, and my best friends as a kid were boys, that's why I find that odd.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When do you start?

OP here. I currently have 2 boys in preschool. About 70% of the kids have parties where the entire class is invited. We usually have about 1 classmate party per week at a bouncy house, My Gym, Chuck E Cheese, etc.

Ugh. That sounds like torture. OP, just because 70% of kids are doing it does not mean you have to join in the madness. Just say no.

We're starting preschool next year. I have this to look forward to? Oh, good lord.

If you don't want to go, why not just decline? Why judge other people for inviting you?

Like PPs, I have never and will never. Sorry, kids. I think these celebrations are a little too much, esp. for kids young enough that they would probably be happy with a lot less!

OP, nobody in their right mind will hold it against you or your kid for not having one of these parties (in fact, some of us will be grateful!), so just do what feels right for your family at each age. I know some people who do the big preschooler bash once and then say "NEVER AGAIN" and some who absolutely love seeing the whole class bouncing around together at a gym type place and some who actually enjoy having the whole class to their home and baking the cupcakes and having face painting and their own decorations, and some like us who just do something as a family or with 1 or 2 good friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my son starts kindergarten next year, we will probably invite the entire class. After that, maybe just the boys.

That's an odd way to narrow it down, no?

Not the PP you're quoting, but I would say it's a traditional way to do it, but a way that is probably outmoded. From my own small sample set, changing gender norms seem to have trickled down such that boys and girls don't segregate themselves at young ages like they did when I was a kid. When I was in elementary school, a teacher could bring about silence just make us sit boy-girl-boy-girl (by middle school, not so much). My sense is that this tactic wouldn't work these days. But I don't have a study or anything to back that up.

yeah, my son is 8 and some of his best friends are girls at this point.

my son is in second grade. we've always just invited kids he is friends with...let him pick. alot of kids are still inviting the whole class but we've done parties at our house and it's small + he has not wanted to invite the whole class.

some people are still inviting the whole class, some people are inviting all girls/boys, some are inviting friends. at this point my son doesn't seem to care if he's invited or not to other kid's parties. has never come up that he has not been invited to a good friends party but we have heard about other kids parties that he wasn't invited to.

I've never invited the entire class. So, you stop as soon as you think about starting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my son starts kindergarten next year, we will probably invite the entire class. After that, maybe just the boys.

That's an odd way to narrow it down, no?

Not the PP you're quoting, but I would say it's a traditional way to do it, but a way that is probably outmoded. From my own small sample set, changing gender norms seem to have trickled down such that boys and girls don't segregate themselves at young ages like they did when I was a kid. When I was in elementary school, a teacher could bring about silence just make us sit boy-girl-boy-girl (by middle school, not so much). My sense is that this tactic wouldn't work these days. But I don't have a study or anything to back that up.

DS is in preK and I told him he could invite 5 friends this year. His class is only 3 kids so they were included but I know he spends a lot of time with children from kindergarten so I wanted to give him the option of including 4 other friends.

I think there really needs to be a point when you say what is too much. I was just at a party where the parents invited the entire pre-k class. This isn't a bad thing, but when you add in all the siblings as well as 2 parents for each child, it was kinda crazy. Not crazy bad, it was just a huge (and expensive) party. They didn't expect that many people to arrive but everyone just kept RSVPing yes and it ended up this way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When do you start?

OP here. I currently have 2 boys in preschool. About 70% of the kids have parties where the entire class is invited. We usually have about 1 classmate party per week at a bouncy house, My Gym, Chuck E Cheese, etc.

Ugh. That sounds like torture. OP, just because 70% of kids are doing it does not mean you have to join in the madness. Just say no.

Our kids love going to birthday parties. I don't mind them as we get to meet other families from the school.

I know that at some point, kids start only inviting their close friends. Just wondering when that transition usually happens.

When my son starts kindergarten next year, we will probably invite the entire class. After that, maybe just the boys.

That's an odd way to narrow it down, no?