21:19 I like you!

It makes me uncomfortable when people talk about full tuition, or the tuition gap, in terms of "subsidizing financial aid families." It implies an "us" v. "them" mentality which is unfriendly at best.

Your school appeals to you and your child in no small part because of students, parents and teachers who make up the school community. Yes, some students receive some FA, but the school is a richer place because those families are there.

I think that helping your child's friends and classmates is frankly as good a reason as any to give as generously as you can to the AF.

Anonymous wrote:If the gap is $4,000, why not just charge $4,000 more as part of tuition? Why undercharge for services? I don't get it.

The main reason for the $4,000 gap is because part of the tuition goes towards providing financial aid; which means all the full pay families are paying extra to subsidize financial aid families.

The private school where I teach is big on % participation on things like the AF. I've been told that having a higher % participation (both from faculty/staff and parents) in these gives the school a leg up in applying for grants and such because it is an indication of participation in the school community. Their line is always that it is more important that you give than how much you give - just to add another perspective.

For the record, I have been so impressed with how giving the families at my school are. Thank you to all of you who donate your time, money, food, and ideas to your schools. Your participation is invaluable.

You can deduct some on your taxes. We gave double gap..two kids but we love the school and realize not everyone can swing it. Next year I doubt we will do double with all the taxes that have gone up...have to pay our bills first and then be generous.

Anonymous wrote:If the gap is $4,000, why not just charge $4,000 more as part of tuition? Why undercharge for services? I don't get it.

If you charged $4,000 more you may lose quite a few full-pay families that are just at the cusp, which would create more a bar bell effect in terms of socioeconomic diversity in the school versus more of a normally distributed curve.

Anonymous wrote:The fact of the matter is that, unlike well-endowed universities, the educational costs at most private schools are higher than the tuition charged. At my DC's school, it is almost $4000 more than tuition. From my perspective as a full-tuition paying parent, donating any less than the "tuition gap" is equivalent to taking financial aid from another family's donation to subsidize my child. At our income level and a full tax deduction, I couldn't justify giving just a token couple of hundred dollars. All the other law firm partners, Beltway bandit executives, and old money families should just pony up and think of it as the full cost of sending our kids to public school.

I understand that the OP with two kids and $200K income may not be able to fill the tuition gap. But, from my experience, there are more private school families with incomes at twice that level than below.

The gap is created because not everyone is paying full tuition. The gap is not the difference between what a full-pay family pays and the cost of educating that family's child. The gap is the collective difference, meaning the difference in collective tuition revenue received from all families and the collective cost to educate every child in the school divided by the number of children in the school. In fact, if you are a full-pay family you are not taking a subsidy but rather are subsidizing other families that are not full-pay families.

If the gap is $4,000, why not just charge $4,000 more as part of tuition? Why undercharge for services? I don't get it.

The fact of the matter is that, unlike well-endowed universities, the educational costs at most private schools are higher than the tuition charged. At my DC's school, it is almost $4000 more than tuition. From my perspective as a full-tuition paying parent, donating any less than the "tuition gap" is equivalent to taking financial aid from another family's donation to subsidize my child. At our income level and a full tax deduction, I couldn't justify giving just a token couple of hundred dollars. All the other law firm partners, Beltway bandit executives, and old money families should just pony up and think of it as the full cost of sending our kids to public school.

I understand that the OP with two kids and $200K income may not be able to fill the tuition gap. But, from my experience, there are more private school families with incomes at twice that level than below.

The less said on this subject the better. Give what you feel comfortable with.