Anonymous wrote:I'm an admissions director. We understand completely why this kind of thing happens. For me, a very short note that just says that you are declining, and going to school X instead is best. It means I can extract the information I need from the note in the least amount of time. I certainly wouldn't hold this against you, even if you apply later with another child. However, a long note full of details that I just don't care about, that takes up my time, I would hold against you

Anonymous wrote:I'm an admissions director. We understand completely why this kind of thing happens. For me, a very short note that just says that you are declining, and going to school X instead is best. It means I can extract the information I need from the note in the least amount of time. I certainly wouldn't hold this against you, even if you apply later with another child. However, a long note full of details that I just don't care about, that takes up my time, I would hold against you

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an admissions director. We understand completely why this kind of thing happens. For me, a very short note that just says that you are declining, and going to school X instead is best. It means I can extract the information I need from the note in the least amount of time. I certainly wouldn't hold this against you, even if you apply later with another child. However, a long note full of details that I just don't care about, that takes up my time, I would hold against you

Wow. Remind me never to apply to your school

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an admissions director. We understand completely why this kind of thing happens. For me, a very short note that just says that you are declining, and going to school X instead is best. It means I can extract the information I need from the note in the least amount of time. I certainly wouldn't hold this against you, even if you apply later with another child. However, a long note full of details that I just don't care about, that takes up my time, I would hold against you

Just curious, we declined because of financial reasons. The FA offer was too low. I wrote a letter detailing this, thanking the AD for her time and attention during the process. I wrote a somewhat lengthy letter, because I felt I did not want to be short with the school after they gave so much time considering my DS. I now see I was wrong to assume they would appreciate it.

Anonymous wrote:I'm an admissions director. We understand completely why this kind of thing happens. For me, a very short note that just says that you are declining, and going to school X instead is best. It means I can extract the information I need from the note in the least amount of time. I certainly wouldn't hold this against you, even if you apply later with another child. However, a long note full of details that I just don't care about, that takes up my time, I would hold against you

Anonymous wrote:I'm an admissions director. We understand completely why this kind of thing happens. For me, a very short note that just says that you are declining, and going to school X instead is best. It means I can extract the information I need from the note in the least amount of time. I certainly wouldn't hold this against you, even if you apply later with another child. However, a long note full of details that I just don't care about, that takes up my time, I would hold against you

Anonymous wrote:I'm an admissions director. We understand completely why this kind of thing happens. For me, a very short note that just says that you are declining, and going to school X instead is best. It means I can extract the information I need from the note in the least amount of time. I certainly wouldn't hold this against you, even if you apply later with another child. However, a long note full of details that I just don't care about, that takes up my time, I would hold against you

Anonymous wrote:OP is the dad, not the mom. Bet you'll be less mean when you know he is the dad. Fathers always get a break.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I took up a lot of time at a Big 3. Legitimately so, as we were torn between two school. Its time to turn them down as our diligence is complete and we are going with the other school.

How do you turn down politely?

I also inferred early on that if accepted, we would likely attend. But in the course of our diligence, our DS and his mother changed their mind. Honest mistake. Please advise.

Please dont flame for that. It was true at the time.

OP, it is likely that when you began to " take up a lot of your time with your deligence" they began to cringe and regard you as a potential PITA. Likely, there is soem other quality about you that they value ( or need, like your $$$$$ or diversity) so they stomached you. Your turning them down will just allow them the sigh of relief that they dodged a bullet.

You can't have it both ways, you either wrote a 1st choice letter or made statements that were, in fact, not a pledge you really meant to honor. You now want public forgiveness for that on this forum, when it is not us, but the school that you made a promise to that you will now break. Face them, not us.

Lastly, do it quickly ( as in Monday) so that a deserving family/child can be offered your spot. Its the right thing to do. This is not about you, any longer, but you knew that right ?

Of course, you knew that. You meant to write and ask how soon should you turn down and accept offer to help out a WL family, right.