I guess I don't understand the question. Your child will still be the same child, with the same behaviors, same exact child -- no matter what the diagnosis. So who cares, on an academic level, which is "worse." It won't change your experience.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^For my kid "labeling" has been great. He has an IEP and loves going to school which was not the case prior the the label/IEP. With supports and services, everyone says we have a different child, engaged, happy, with friends. Even our educational consultant who has observed him at school prior to the IEP and recently is amazed at the amount of progress DS has made. So for us, the "label" has only been beneficial.

And I know dozens for whom the label was hurtful. My son included.

Then the diagnosis was hurtful. Unless he wasn't actually diagnosed, but people just assumed, which is a different problem.

OP, I understand where you are right now and just trying to run all the possibilities through your head. But these are tough questions for a lot of reasons and people often feel hurt by them. Keep in mind that there are many parents of kids with whatever gets voted "worst" here. We are used to being judged and criticized by others and we like to feel supported on this board.

It is also an impossible question because none of these conditions exist in isolation. I don't just mean that there are comorbid conditions (learning disabilities, anxiety, etc) but a child's innate temperament, IQ, other interests and skills, can make all the difference. There truly is no way to isolate the one issue and make a prediction. Take my child: ADHD (combined type, but fidgety rather than a big mover... inattentive but also a hyperfocused or academics), dysgraphia, highly anxious, introverted, stubborn... highly persistent, courageous, funny, imaginative, and high IQ. He has both incredible gifts and great challenges. Things are both easier and much harder for him than for most kids. He suffers a great deal and also finds great joy in life. We have had some family life events that have been very, very hard for him but are home is also very stable and supportive.

I honestly don't know how you can take an average of my child's experiences and qualities and compare it to those of another. Again, I understand that you are just trying to make sense of the future but I think you have to just stay open to what is coming, nourish your child's strengths and support your child's weaknesses. Best of luck to you and your child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^My BIL is a college prof. Walked at 25 months, obsessed with the color red and birds as a child, had trouble making eye contact. A lot like my AS son who walked at 16 months, obsessed with the color blue and birds, no trouble with eye contact... DS was DX with AS at 4. BIL never.

Feel sorry for BIL that they did not recognize Asperger's when he was a child. Could have had a happier childhood.

I am not so sure labeling is always good.

Its not a label its a diagnosis. People aren't cans of soup. You can argue about whether or not a diagnosis applies but you denigrate all of us who have kids with very real diagnoses when you dismiss them as labels.

I apologize that you find the word offensive. I didn't mean that the diagnosis were not real. But some experts do argue to keep mild conditions private if the impairment is not too great. Partly because of potential over dx or mis dx. Again the topic here is mild Asperger's.

Anonymous wrote:^For my kid "labeling" has been great. He has an IEP and loves going to school which was not the case prior the the label/IEP. With supports and services, everyone says we have a different child, engaged, happy, with friends. Even our educational consultant who has observed him at school prior to the IEP and recently is amazed at the amount of progress DS has made. So for us, the "label" has only been beneficial.

And I know dozens for whom the label was hurtful. My son included.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^My BIL is a college prof. Walked at 25 months, obsessed with the color red and birds as a child, had trouble making eye contact. A lot like my AS son who walked at 16 months, obsessed with the color blue and birds, no trouble with eye contact... DS was DX with AS at 4. BIL never.

Feel sorry for BIL that they did not recognize Asperger's when he was a child. Could have had a happier childhood.

I am not so sure labeling is always good.

Its not a label its a diagnosis. People aren't cans of soup. You can argue about whether or not a diagnosis applies but you denigrate all of us who have kids with very real diagnoses when you dismiss them as labels.

^For my kid "labeling" has been great. He has an IEP and loves going to school which was not the case prior the the label/IEP. With supports and services, everyone says we have a different child, engaged, happy, with friends. Even our educational consultant who has observed him at school prior to the IEP and recently is amazed at the amount of progress DS has made. So for us, the "label" has only been beneficial.

Anonymous wrote:^My BIL is a college prof. Walked at 25 months, obsessed with the color red and birds as a child, had trouble making eye contact. A lot like my AS son who walked at 16 months, obsessed with the color blue and birds, no trouble with eye contact... DS was DX with AS at 4. BIL never.

Feel sorry for BIL that they did not recognize Asperger's when he was a child. Could have had a happier childhood.

I am not so sure labeling is always good.

^My BIL is a college prof. Walked at 25 months, obsessed with the color red and birds as a child, had trouble making eye contact. A lot like my AS son who walked at 16 months, obsessed with the color blue and birds, no trouble with eye contact... DS was DX with AS at 4. BIL never.

Feel sorry for BIL that they did not recognize Asperger's when he was a child. Could have had a happier childhood.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No such thing as "mild" Asperger's. If it's so mild it doesn't impact your life, you don't have it.

That is why now 1 in 88 now has autism. Some of these kids have mild symptoms. Does not mean that they were not impaired socially. But they can be very high functioning. Some people think lots if not most of college professors are HFAs.

On the other hand, I am sure there is lots of over diagnosis as well.

Anonymous wrote:

No such thing as "mild" Asperger's. If it's so mild it doesn't impact your life, you don't have it.

Let's try this again. I think you may be quoting me (?) because I said my son has mild Asperger's.

The impacts of Asperger's on my son's life are mild.

At this time, at least. He is plenty old enough now to report on what he's thinking, so I'll just take his word for it.

Anonymous wrote:

No such thing as "mild" Asperger's. If it's so mild it doesn't impact your life, you don't have it.

Anonymous wrote:I posted before, but am posting again b/c I really am shocked someone thinks severe ADHD could possibly be less challenging than mild Asperger's??

I think the first word "mild" "moderate" "severe" tells you a lot more about how challenging it is and where the child's level of functioning is at time of diagnosis. The good news is with interventions some kids can move along from say severe to moderate or moderate to mild or maybe even severe to mild?

When I taught I had kids with both presentations. Actually, the kids with mild asperger's were easier than some of the kids without IEPs and much less time consuming than kids with severe anything including ADHD. I liked ALL the kids, but if you are looking at which is more impairing and time consuming for the teacher-it's severe ADHD.

Thanks for stating this. My Asperger's kid has always been a very "easy" kid so much so that sometimes I feel weird describing him on this forum. Well behaved and happy at school where he never gets in trouble: When he was in preK4, I think he had one time out the entire year. Great to know that this is typical for some Aspies. Thanks!

No such thing as "mild" Asperger's. If it's so mild it doesn't impact your life, you don't have it.