Some seriously good responses.....

Many parents at privates can't afford more than tuition so they volunteer to help with the auction or other special events and we do understand that. At many schools the salaries for the Development staff and special events staff eat up a high percentage of the money raised. If you think about how much the schools can save when parents help out with these events and they do not have to hire as many people then you feel you have contributed what you can. Your time and ideas are a valuable contribtion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reality is clear: private schools are a bubble that needs to burst. By this I mean, the tuitions have been rising at an obscene rate for so long that it can no longer be justified (or paid) by any but the wealthiest among us. For years, middle and upper middle class professionals could justify scrimping and saving in order to provide private education for their children. Those days are ending quickly. Now at 40k and rising, those families risk putting themselves into dire financial straits in order to pay the tuition (and, as the op suggests, all the extra fundraising contributions, fees, etc). It is simply not sustainable.

I think this is actually a good point - especially in the DMV. All 4 of my kids have done a combo of public and private.

I grew up in the metro area of a large Midwestern city. Most of the private schools there are parochial or academic specialty (STEM). There are maybe 1-2 purely indepedent schools worth mentioning, but that is it. There is no market for high ticket independent schools there. People invest in the public schools which, by and large are above average.

I have lived here for 24 years and I am often amazed and the number and cost of private school education here. In my private school parent travels, I have noticed two things (not speaking to the educational merits). First, the private school is a badge of prestige here that people are willing to pay top $$ for. Second, a lot of people in this area believe that more expensive = better school.

Paying $40,000 for a ES or MS education is pure folly to me. The ONLY way that this whole independent school thing even works is because the DMV is economically stable compared to most other parts of the country. Any type of prolongoned downturn in this area would drive students back to public school and all but a few of these schools out of business.

I think in general the whole status/prestige attached to school attendance in this area is horrible. Seriously, I don't think people dwell as much in the rest of the country over what grade school their child attends (with the exception of New York City and certain parts of the West Coast). It's seriously ridiculous.

And beyond that, my experience has been that people who attended big name private schools their entire lives aren't necessarily smarter or even more articulate. In fact, they're usually pretty sheltered and have difficulty interacting with people not of their exact class/ethnic/racial/religious group. With the changing demographics of the country, I question the wisdom of raising a child in that kind of a bubble...

Anonymous wrote:The reality is clear: private schools are a bubble that needs to burst. By this I mean, the tuitions have been rising at an obscene rate for so long that it can no longer be justified (or paid) by any but the wealthiest among us. For years, middle and upper middle class professionals could justify scrimping and saving in order to provide private education for their children. Those days are ending quickly. Now at 40k and rising, those families risk putting themselves into dire financial straits in order to pay the tuition (and, as the op suggests, all the extra fundraising contributions, fees, etc). It is simply not sustainable.

I think this is actually a good point - especially in the DMV. All 4 of my kids have done a combo of public and private.

I grew up in the metro area of a large Midwestern city. Most of the private schools there are parochial or academic specialty (STEM). There are maybe 1-2 purely indepedent schools worth mentioning, but that is it. There is no market for high ticket independent schools there. People invest in the public schools which, by and large are above average.

I have lived here for 24 years and I am often amazed and the number and cost of private school education here. In my private school parent travels, I have noticed two things (not speaking to the educational merits). First, the private school is a badge of prestige here that people are willing to pay top $$ for. Second, a lot of people in this area believe that more expensive = better school.

Paying $40,000 for a ES or MS education is pure folly to me. The ONLY way that this whole independent school thing even works is because the DMV is economically stable compared to most other parts of the country. Any type of prolongoned downturn in this area would drive students back to public school and all but a few of these schools out of business.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

There is a gap between what you pay and the actual cost of educating your child. Being part of a private school community is giving, even a token amount.

I think folks are confused about the gap. It's not the gap between what you pay and the actual cost of educating your child. It's the gap between what everyone pays collectively and the cost of educating every child at the school, including those on FA. So those paying full tuition are subsidizing the FA budget, and those who contribute to the fundraising efforts be it annual giving or scholarship auction or whatever are subsidizing the FA budget.

so true

The reality is clear: private schools are a bubble that needs to burst. By this I mean, the tuitions have been rising at an obscene rate for so long that it can no longer be justified (or paid) by any but the wealthiest among us. For years, middle and upper middle class professionals could justify scrimping and saving in order to provide private education for their children. Those days are ending quickly. Now at 40k and rising, those families risk putting themselves into dire financial straits in order to pay the tuition (and, as the op suggests, all the extra fundraising contributions, fees, etc). It is simply not sustainable.

10:23 here

should read "than make the kids" not "then make the kids."

First of all, that's an obscene amount of money. The sad truth is that if all of the families paying that amount of money were willing to pay a little bit more in taxes (instead of $40k tuition) and put their kids in public schools, then the public schools would be so much stronger, everyone would get a solid education, and your child wouldn't grow up in a bubble.

But outside of that, private school teachers don't get paid much, so that's not where the money is going. Administrators get paid *way* too much, so there's one place. And then of course private schools tend to overdo things like playgrounds and new facilities because they think it makes them look more prestigious/attract wealthier families.

A good education has nothing to do with a state-of-the-art playground.

Beyond that, all schools, public included, seem to do the cheesy fundraising stuff. I think it's ridiculous. They end up paying a good portion of it to the stupid fundraising company that makes all of those crappy products. If the school truly needs money (which I often doubt it does), there must be better ways to have fundraising drives then make the kids sell cheap products to their friends and neighbors.

As for the posters who seem to think it's financial aid students causing the problem, those private schools don't offer a lot of financial aid. At most, there's a handful of needy students they will take on to make some kind of quota, but it's not a lot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of the fundraising is to go towards financial aid for students who could otherwise afford to go to that school. I think if you can afford to pay $40k out of pocket, you can certainly afford to contribute to the FA fund.

Not necessarily. Some families (those that are in the middle who don't qualify for aid or who are trying to make it work without asking for aid) are making significant sacrifices and are just barely able to afford the tuition. Folks do what they can. If that means paying the tuition and not contributing to FA, so be it. We're not in a position to know people's circumstances or judge what they can or cannot afford.

Then have some class and simply inform your development office that you can't give, and stop complaining about it here. If it is that big of a sacrifice, then certainly you can understand what the fundraising is for.

I am not the OP, so your comment about having some class is inappropriate. I am just stating that no one is in a position to judge what people can and cannot afford.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of the fundraising is to go towards financial aid for students who could otherwise afford to go to that school. I think if you can afford to pay $40k out of pocket, you can certainly afford to contribute to the FA fund.

Not necessarily. Some families (those that are in the middle who don't qualify for aid or who are trying to make it work without asking for aid) are making significant sacrifices and are just barely able to afford the tuition. Folks do what they can. If that means paying the tuition and not contributing to FA, so be it. We're not in a position to know people's circumstances or judge what they can or cannot afford.

Then have some class and simply inform your development office that you can't give, and stop complaining about it here. If it is that big of a sacrifice, then certainly you can understand what the fundraising is for.

Anonymous wrote:The reason for the gap is that you are paying for those that can't. Just like healthcare costs... An aspirin does not really cost 10 dollars...but on your hospital bill it does.

I'd take this analogy further. It's not just that you are helping to pay for those who can't. You are also paying in many cases for high administrative costs, overinvestment in technology, and unnecessary/unproven procedures and testing. And yet, given the alternatives, we continue to pay.