This is interesting. In my mind, I am a saver, but I also spend on nice things. I just don't spend all my money on all sorts of crap.

A friend once called me cheap. I assume she meant because I don't have a lot of crap and don't just spend money. But I do spend money on nice things (I've been to like 20 countries, have expensive handbags, expensive shoes and expensive clothes). My friend has none of these things, but has more inexpensive clothes, shoes and bags, so I guess in her mind that makes her not cheap. But in my mind, buying cheap stuff makes you cheap. Who knows?

I am a spender, ask me anything.

No seriously, I AM a spender and I don't know why.

I've had jobs ever since I was old enough to start babysitting. My parents, while UPM did not spoil me AT ALL. Sometimes I think that was part of, my peers had a lot of "stuff" and I didn't and I wanted it. Not sure why. My parents were super frugal, but not very loving and affectionate. I always felt and still feel better after I have bought something -- for a friend, for me, for the house, for the kids -- it doesn't matter. Once I got married, I spent a lot less. So I think I did have a kind of emotional hole I was filling with spending. I also have impulse control issues. I am better now, but not completely cured. I will not spend for months and then binge spend. I have major troubles with budgeting, and have always failed when I tried.

I have set up all my bills automatically (thank God for that).

It is a major area of work for me. I am married to a frugal saver and that has helped me a lot.

I don't drink, I don't smoke, but catch me on a down, down day and I'll be on amazon or Zappos or something.

^^^Sorry, should say *credit card companies*, not "credit cards."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here - I don't really have a problem. I was just answering a question. I don't honestly give a rat's ass if I spend a couple hundred a year on credit card interest. That amounts to about the same amount I spend on internet plus cable plus landline plus iphone in a single month. I was just saying that I prefer to have a little cash stashed away in case of a layoff, and paying off my card right now would threaten that. (it'll be paid off in a few months anyway. On there right now: airfare and hotel from my xmas trip, an unexpected $700 car repair, some house-related expenses, plus this month's bar and restaurant bills because I won't use my debit card if it'll be out of my sight and I don't like carrying large amounts of cash around.)

But that is not what your post says. You wrote

"... then I'd psychologically think I could run up the card again because I had no $ on it."
What you are saying is that you HAVE to carry a balance, because if you do not then you'll feel compelled to spend in order to create a balance.

That is different from saying that you prefer not to pay it off so as to keep your cushion. I get that (sort of), but I do not understand feeling that you can't pay off a credit card because then you would *have to* run it up again.

I don't get it.

I've heard this from other people who are used to carrying a balance on their cards. They view the available credit like a Visa gift cardi that is meant to be used.

It is not rational. It makes NO sense.

I guess that's what credit cards are counting on - emotional, "gift-card" reactions to credit availability.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here - I don't really have a problem. I was just answering a question. I don't honestly give a rat's ass if I spend a couple hundred a year on credit card interest. That amounts to about the same amount I spend on internet plus cable plus landline plus iphone in a single month. I was just saying that I prefer to have a little cash stashed away in case of a layoff, and paying off my card right now would threaten that. (it'll be paid off in a few months anyway. On there right now: airfare and hotel from my xmas trip, an unexpected $700 car repair, some house-related expenses, plus this month's bar and restaurant bills because I won't use my debit card if it'll be out of my sight and I don't like carrying large amounts of cash around.)

But that is not what your post says. You wrote

"... then I'd psychologically think I could run up the card again because I had no $ on it."
What you are saying is that you HAVE to carry a balance, because if you do not then you'll feel compelled to spend in order to create a balance.

That is different from saying that you prefer not to pay it off so as to keep your cushion. I get that (sort of), but I do not understand feeling that you can't pay off a credit card because then you would *have to* run it up again.

I don't get it.

I've heard this from other people who are used to carrying a balance on their cards. They view the available credit like a Visa gift cardi that is meant to be used.

Anonymous wrote:PP here - I don't really have a problem. I was just answering a question. I don't honestly give a rat's ass if I spend a couple hundred a year on credit card interest. That amounts to about the same amount I spend on internet plus cable plus landline plus iphone in a single month. I was just saying that I prefer to have a little cash stashed away in case of a layoff, and paying off my card right now would threaten that. (it'll be paid off in a few months anyway. On there right now: airfare and hotel from my xmas trip, an unexpected $700 car repair, some house-related expenses, plus this month's bar and restaurant bills because I won't use my debit card if it'll be out of my sight and I don't like carrying large amounts of cash around.)

But that is not what your post says. You wrote

"... then I'd psychologically think I could run up the card again because I had no $ on it."
What you are saying is that you HAVE to carry a balance, because if you do not then you'll feel compelled to spend in order to create a balance.

That is different from saying that you prefer not to pay it off so as to keep your cushion. I get that (sort of), but I do not understand feeling that you can't pay off a credit card because then you would *have to* run it up again.

I don't get it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But the point is.....you could tighten your belt and have BOTH zero cc debt AND a healthy emergency fund. the fact that you seem to be unable to do that indicates a problem.

Sounds like it's only a problem for you.

Exactly. It's like badgering someone for paying someone for paying mid grade when their car takes regular just fine. If they're willing to pay it, based on personal preference, who cares?

It's just evidence of being a dumb bitch, is all.

Or an angry bitch, as is your case.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But the point is.....you could tighten your belt and have BOTH zero cc debt AND a healthy emergency fund. the fact that you seem to be unable to do that indicates a problem.

Sounds like it's only a problem for you.

Exactly. It's like badgering someone for paying someone for paying mid grade when their car takes regular just fine. If they're willing to pay it, based on personal preference, who cares?

It's just evidence of being a dumb bitch, is all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But the point is.....you could tighten your belt and have BOTH zero cc debt AND a healthy emergency fund. the fact that you seem to be unable to do that indicates a problem.

Sounds like it's only a problem for you.

Exactly. It's like badgering someone for paying someone for paying mid grade when their car takes regular just fine. If they're willing to pay it, based on personal preference, who cares?

PP who made the difference between spender and debtor hits the nail on the head!

Your DH has a problem that could drive you to divorce, OP. I hope you have separate accounts and private savings.

Ideally, you should come to an agreement that you should FIRST automatically save for retirement, college, emergency funds, etc. Second, no debts should be incurred for frivolous stuff (list those here).

On a hopeful note, your DH can change as I changed. I never used to look at what I spent in my early 20s. 10 years later, I get a kick out of saving money and buying the best quality for my money! 2 reasons for this: DH is a saver and convinced me it was a thrilling way to live (!), and recently we have been pinched due to job loss.

Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:But the point is.....you could tighten your belt and have BOTH zero cc debt AND a healthy emergency fund. the fact that you seem to be unable to do that indicates a problem.

Sounds like it's only a problem for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here - I don't really have a problem. I was just answering a question. I don't honestly give a rat's ass if I spend a couple hundred a year on credit card interest. That amounts to about the same amount I spend on internet plus cable plus landline plus iphone in a single month. I was just saying that I prefer to have a little cash stashed away in case of a layoff, and paying off my card right now would threaten that. (it'll be paid off in a few months anyway. On there right now: airfare and hotel from my xmas trip, an unexpected $700 car repair, some house-related expenses, plus this month's bar and restaurant bills because I won't use my debit card if it'll be out of my sight and I don't like carrying large amounts of cash around.)

NP here. That sort of makes sense, I guess, pp, but why can't you have a little bit of savings AND pay off your credit card? I'm sure over the course of a couple of months it could be done if you tightened your belt a little bit. There's no sense in throwing away hundreds of dollars if you don't have to.

+ The couple of hundreds of dollars a year could be added to savings!

12:41, I agree with you. Completely. But we were also both laid off in 2008 and experiencing a lay-off really effects how you think about these things. We have a savings minimum below which we do not go. It's only three months worth of expenses, which is less than I'd like, but it's untouchable. When we do get extra/go over the overage goes $$ to debt. But I sleep way better knowing that we have cash if we need it. It's well worth the cost of interest.

FWIW - We live very frugally in other ways (e.g., no cable, old car). Almost 80% of our pay goes to debt. We'll do without until we're back in the black. I still wouldn't touch that savings. And before anyone asks why we have so much debt, we have an underwater property and huge medical bills. I wasn't out buying $600 shoes.

But the point is.....you could tighten your belt and have BOTH zero cc debt AND a healthy emergency fund. the fact that you seem to be unable to do that indicates a problem.

Anonymous wrote:PP here - I don't really have a problem. I was just answering a question. I don't honestly give a rat's ass if I spend a couple hundred a year on credit card interest. That amounts to about the same amount I spend on internet plus cable plus landline plus iphone in a single month. I was just saying that I prefer to have a little cash stashed away in case of a layoff, and paying off my card right now would threaten that. (it'll be paid off in a few months anyway. On there right now: airfare and hotel from my xmas trip, an unexpected $700 car repair, some house-related expenses, plus this month's bar and restaurant bills because I won't use my debit card if it'll be out of my sight and I don't like carrying large amounts of cash around.)

I'm like you and the couple hundred dollars in interest for the year is worth the peace of mind I have in not touching my emergency savings. With the rewards, its actually a wash for me. I tried to revert to using my savings in emergencies to avoid interest and it only gave me stress and guilt. For one, when I raided my savings paying daycare during a rough year (receiving no child support due to ex being laid off), the lenders cut my limits dramatically even though I always pay on time and far more than the minimum. I'm talking from 13K limit to $500 on a card after charging a work related expense that I'm reimbursed for and it was a ripple effect with other lenders. I'm bringing the only income into my house and the thought of being cashless is more frightening than paying interest. It's really not a big deal. Most people "waste" money in some way...whether its warming the car on cold mornings (even though its unnecessary these days), paying a housecleaner instead of requiring DH to step up more, etc. My CC debt is sitting at 3.99%...nothing to lose sleep over.