Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am OK as long as there is someone else watching the child -- for example, a parent could bring a child and another classmate; I don't necessarily need one parent per child, but I don't want to be the parent responsible for the child if I'm hosting the party. There was an accident at a party I was at last weekend. It wasn't bad, but it required parental attention.

Question for parents who drop off at that age: do you normally ask ahead of time? Or assume it's ok? I'm wondering if instead of saying something in the invite, if I can expect the parent to raise it with me and state that I would prefer they not drop off? There is one child in particular that I am concerned about (the others seem to be more self-sufficient).

I'm the first one who said I have 4 kids and drop mine off. I do not ask. I just do it. I'm not dropping them off at an R-rated movie here. I'm dropping them at a moderately child-proofed home or party place. If my kid falls down your stairs and breaks her leg, I'm not going to sue you unless you pushed her down the stairs. If you're worried about that kid, then don't invite him/her. Or tell your DH or mom or whoever "Hey, see that red-shirted girl? Keep an eye on her - she needs extra attention."

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sorry for the typos.

sorry for all the typos, iphone...

I am really surprised by the posts here.
My oldest child is turning 6/is in K and has just recently getting invites with "drop off optional".
Non of his invites before K were drop off and we had one almost every weekend. My daughter is 4 and the same with her.
So far my son has been to 3 drop offs this year in K and I stayed for the first and half of the parents stayed. The 2nd one I stayed the first 10 in and came a bit early and there were several parents there. It is the same group and I can say that all the parents that stayed including me did not have older children. The parents that had no issues dropping off and left right away are the ones that had 2-3 older siblings and were used to it.
Based on all this....the hosts definitely appreciated some parents staying and helping bc those K students are still a handful. Ironically it was the ones whose parents left that were nuts.
OP - Just right "Parents welcome to stay". I guarantee not everyone will leave unless they have other kids to tend to.

Love the parents of multiple kids who use bday parties as babysitting service. Four is too young for drop off..parent host is not a teacher per say..they are running a party and not a preschool.

I also don't think four year old b-day parties are usually drop-off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised people assume that a 4 year old party is drop off. At that age, I would only do it if the host encouraged it. Figure some of the kids are only 3.. In my circle drop off really only started being assumed when the kids were in K...everyone was 5 or older. But based on the other responses, my preschool must have been the minority. Do you have family or can you hire a teen helper to help with supervision? Another option would be to mention to the moms you know best that you would be grateful if they stayed... I am sure they will!

I'm surprised too. My kids attend Montessori, so all the parties have been for 3-6 y.o.s and I have NEVER seen even one parent drop off in the dozens of parties we have been too. Same goes for all the friend parties we've been too. The most I've ever seen, is parents letting the host know that they're stepping out for 5 minutes to get a coffee in the same shopping center as the party place.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised people assume that a 4 year old party is drop off. At that age, I would only do it if the host encouraged it. Figure some of the kids are only 3.. In my circle drop off really only started being assumed when the kids were in K...everyone was 5 or older. But based on the other responses, my preschool must have been the minority. Do you have family or can you hire a teen helper to help with supervision? Another option would be to mention to the moms you know best that you would be grateful if they stayed... I am sure they will!

I'm surprised too. My kids attend Montessori, so all the parties have been for 3-6 y.o.s and I have NEVER seen even one parent drop off in the dozens of parties we have been too. Same goes for all the friend parties we've been too. The most I've ever seen, is parents letting the host know that they're stepping out for 5 minutes to get a coffee in the same shopping center as the party place.

I just had my son's fifth birthday party, but he's the oldest so all his classmates are four. All the parents came -- I offered to have it be drop off for the parents who had childcare issues with other siblings, or to bring the other sibling if the parent or child weren't comfortable being dropped off. Four is too young for a large drop off party.

My daughter just had her 4th birthday party, at a play gym. No one assumed it was a drop off party. We had one RSVP where the mom said the child couldn't attend because dad would be home alone with the child and an older sib, and I offered drop off or bring the older sib. They brought the older sib. I don't think drop off parties really start in earnest until kindergarten.

The challenge I have seen it being a host with children 3-5 is running the party, making sure that the kids are behaving, helping your child have a good time.

Even with non-drop off parties, I was shocked that parents stayed chatted as their children ran through the house - obviouisly in places where the party was not.
I also had a craft planned and none of the parents stepped up to the table to help their child out.

I was lucky in that it was a very small party - but my lesson learned was to no assume that parent's are either going to drop off or not be invovled and not to invite more friends than I can handle.

I have had a party at a park, and hired a neighbor who was in college to help. This was a great use of money as I needed extra hands to watch things while the kids (mine included) were on the play equipment and help load up the car.

I just took my DD to a party two weeks ago that was not drop off. When I RSVP'd, the hostess said "I look forward to seeing you and your DD on Saturday." At that point, it was clear there was no dropping off.

I like the babysitter idea, or ask a family member to help.
Less stress for you.
What kind of party are you having? Is it at your house?

Just say, "Not a drop off party." I think it's perfectly fine to specify this on an invitation.

OP, since you are uncomfortable with the idea of drop off, just put that each child must be accompanied by an adult on the invitation or parent participation/supervision required.